by Ashley Thompson

Matt, 33, from Louisiana is a jackass and thinks women are good at "huntin' fruits" and brings along a slingshot to the Marsila Jungle. A SLINGSHOT. The good news is that pebbles are aplenty so there's no risk of running out of ammunition. His starting PSR is 6.6. Karen, 51, from North Carolina doesn't look her age and is a gym rat and mom of two. She seems like the girl-power-type and wants to shove it down her partners throat. Not that he doesn't deserve it. She brings along a glass match fire starter and a can-do attitude. Her starting PSR is 6.3.

The pair are in the back country of the Philippines with the macaque monkeys, wild boars, poisonous toads, and a spitting cobra with venom 15 times more lethal than a king cobra. No thanks. There's also frequent storms that cause razor sharp rock and debris which is really bad new for their vulnerable feet. Perhaps shoes should be priority number two after shelter? Nah, they should complain about it for a few days first. They were lucky enough to camp near water so as long as they can filter it they should be okay. Or so they think.... cue dramatic music.

Karen wakes up on night one with a killer headache and nausea. It's bad enough that she considers quitting. She makes it through the night and they are lucky enough to find bananas. Matt starts out assuming she would gather fruit but "I can't see a woman climbing no tree", so he's gentlemanly enough to shimmy up. He's also nice enough to make her some bamboo shoes. Ok, maybe he's not a jackass. We start to see how controlling Karen is, though. Is she being maternal or a control freak? Regardless, they need food other than bananas. They decide to set up a snare trap at a skunk hole. Without glycogen reserves their body starts to consume muscle, so they need this protein. When the snare works, Karen stabs the skunk and the smell releases from it's anal glands. Dinner! Because they need to watch out for glands and cook it to very well done due to possible rabies contamination, it's a very intense dinner. Could you? Would you? Also, are there oatmeal baths in the jungle?

Then, luckily enough, a huge monitor lizard runs through their camp, Matt grabs the tail so they can kill it, and they get another protein meal. However, their organs can be contaminated with deadly bacteria so only leg and tail meat is safe. When they at it they taste skunk. They think the lizard ate the left over skunk. If bacteria or parasites from the skunk carcass pass through the lizard meat, they could come down with amoebic dysentery. And yep, they do get sick. Lizard bastard. Matt is in terrible shape but he's mostly worried about having to tap out forcibly. They are at the end but how can they trek to extraction in this condition?

Somehow they carry on and head uphill. This pair seem the most worse-for-wear of any survivalists to make extraction. Over the 21 days Matt learned that women rule and Karen learned that 51 is nothing to scoff at. He lost 25 pounds and his PSR 7.2. Karen lost 12 pounds and her PSR rose to 7.2.

Photo by: Discovery Channel