by Kylene Hamulak

 

What's going on at Dancing With the Stars this week? Well, it's Hollywood Night and our "stars" are channeling the legends of Tinsel Town. So, like, you know, ACTUAL stars.

 

Here's this week's recap:

 

Leah Remini and Tony (Rhumba) - In a James Bond themed routine, Leah attempts to overcome the challenges she experienced in rehearsal, which primarily took place on her butt. Leah is likable and the routine is sexy, though I'm not sure the skill level is too high. Len loved the chemistry, though he thought there could've been more fluidity in Leah's arms. Bruno is convinced by her "sexy face" - "I'm going straight here!" he exclaims - and says she's moving in the right direction. Carrie Ann says they are moving "full steam ahead!" and she thinks she's pretty clever when she says it.

SCORES: 8 (Carrie Ann) - 8 (Len) - 8 (Bruno) = 24

Corbin Bleu and Karina (Quick Step) - It seems that not everyone is channeling an actual Hollywood star or film - this pair is playing the role of a director and starlet. Early in the night, this may become my favorite routine. It's quick, it's so much fun, and Corbin looks great. Bruno says he's never seen anything like it, and Carrie Ann says they nailed it, though she does warn Corbin to keep his form. Len wasn't quite as impressed - he says "speed came in, and then style went out" - but still calls it a fabulous number.

SCORES: 9 (C) - 8 (L) - 9 (B) = 26

Elizabeth Berkely and Val (Fox Trot) - Ok, Elizabeth, STOP trying to make #thrustit a thing! Can someone please tweet the Timberlake/Fallon skit @ her? I'm not even sure what their "Hollywood" theme is, except he's a pilot and she's a stewardess with a lot of hair flying around. Carrie Ann is full of puns this week - she tells Elizabeth she's taking her dancing "to new heights" this week. Len refers to it as "chicken soup for the eyes" and calls her a contender. Bruno says she's "flying first class all the way." Memo to dancers: Always choose a theme that lends itself to positive puns.

SCORES: 8 (C) - 9 (L) - 8 (B) = 25

Brant Daugherty and Peta (Quick Step) - Brant had a pretty crappy week. I mean, first he hurt his knee. Then he lost his phone. THEN? He was robbed at gunpoint and sacrificed his dance shoes. Can you believe it? I don't think I would've been able to continue. I mean...what do you do when you don't have a PHONE? You can slightly tell he's favoring one leg in the routine, but he performs impressively despite the injury. Len calls him the "no stress express" and says it was painless to watch, even though it may have been painful to dance. Bruno names him "the perfect matinee idol" and Carrie Ann tells Brant that he is not who she thought he was - "YOU are a fantastic dancer." She also warns Neil Patrick Harris to watch his back, but let's not get crazy, Carrie Ann. This guy is pretty, but he's no Doogie Howser, MD.

SCORES: 9 (C) - 9 (L) - 9 (B) = 27

Valerie Harper and Tristan (Cha Cha) - Valerie and Tristan are pairing together to bring Grace Kelly and Freddie Mercury to the ballroom. Together. One dance. The theme makes more sense when Mika's "Grace Kelly" starts playing, but the dance doesn't quite gel. Tristan is adorable as he coaches Valerie around the floor. It's terrible, but it's fun. Bruno notes she had a lot of mistakes, but says she looked the part. Carrie Ann loves that even when she screws up, she keeps going. Len compares it to a flying on a cheap airline - little uncomfortable, a little bit bumpy, but you get through it. And then he sweetly points out how well Tristan takes care of his partners. I swooned a little.

SCORES: 6 (C) - 5 (L) - 5 (B) = 16

Bill Engvall and Emma (Paso Doble) - The Lone Ranger is coming to the floor for this Paso, and it's a perfect choice. Bill came into this looking like he'd be one of the first to go, but his effort in rehearsal is really paying off in the ballroom. Carrie Ann never expected it, but she says he nailed it and "must've rehearsed the POOP out of it!" Len calls it Bill's best dance, and even though it's only the third one, he's very right. Bruno agrees - he loves it too.

SCORES: 8 (C) - 8 (L) - 8 (B) = 24

Amber Riley and Derek (Charleston) - Derek refers to the Charleston as a cartoon. If that were really true, Amber would be drawn with little z's in her conversation bubble, as her hectic schedule leaves her wishing she could take a nap. Their routine is based off this year's Great Gatsby movie, so it's a modern take on the Charleston that the crowd loves. I hope Amber gets that nap - she deserves it. Len would've liked a little more swivel in her feet, but he loved it. Bruno says she can sell it, but has to be sharper. Carrie Ann calls it another great performance, but says her bottom half has to catch up with her top half.  As a side note, we've reached the rushed part of the show where time is getting tight and critiques are getting short.

SCORES: 8 (C) - 8 (L) - 8 (B) = 24

Jack Osborne and Cheryl (Cha Cha) - Jack and Cheryl are invoking a 70's Hollywood theme, with Jack as an "insecure pimp, a scared pimp". Self-declared, of course. As promised, the routine is quite a departure from the earlier routines, and his slide - literally, a slide - down the stairs is pretty bad ass. Bruno loved the rock star opening, but encourages him to use more hip action. Carrie Ann calls it good, but she's not emphatic about it, saying it's not his best. Len loves his commitment but agrees he does need more hip action.

SCORES: 7 (C) - 7 (L) - 8 (B) = 22

Christina Milian and Mark (Charleston) - Christina has annoyed me so far this season, and now she brought her kid to rehearsal. This is bad news because the kid is adorable, so now I need to give her a chance. Mark is playing a clown in this routine. I know, I know...you're waiting to hear how this is different from every other week, right? It's not. Mark always puts on a show, and this is a good one. Carrie Ann loved everything about it, and Len loved that the dance mirrored the music. Bruno loved the inventive, stylistic details and says she performed better than she ever has.

SCORES: 9 (C) - 8 (L) - 9 (B) = 26

Snooki and Sasha (Quick Step) - Snooki informs us that she feels like she WAS Marilyn Monroe in a past life. I'll let you sit with that for a minute. The routine is a vast improvement over last week, and the pair's one-handed cartwheel was pretty awesome. Len says Snooki surprised him tonight, and Bruno says she was on fire. He respects her commitment to the character. Carrie Ann loved it and says Snooki deserves a star on the Walk of Fame for her performance. Dear God, please - do NOT give Snooki a star on the Walk of Fame.

SCORES: 9 (C) - 8 (L) - 8 (B) = 25

Bill Nye and Tyne (Jazz)- As we've been told throughout the show, the Science Guy suffered a torn tendon in last week's dance and doctor's orders warned against dancing. To get around actual steps, their routine is set on a Tron-like dance floor, and Bill does his best to accompany Tyne with minimal movement. It's why we all love him. Bruno calls it entertaining, though he didn't see much jazz. Carrie Ann was impressed with what he was able to do, and Len gives credit to Tyne for choreographing a routine Bill could do. He says Bill's bravery to go out and try shows a lot about him as a man. Still, there was virtually no dancing, and Bill can barely stand for his scores.

SCORES: 6 (C) - 5 (L) - 5 (B) = 16

 

Elimination Recap:

 

Coming into the results, I'm fully expecting Bill to respectfully bow out of the competition at this point. He looked like he was in pain even just standing for scores with Tyne, who seemed to be holding him up. I can't imagine he would be able to dance any better next week.

 

Still, we do get results. Tom announces that Christina and Mark, Brant and Peta, and Bill Nye and Tyne are in jeopardy. Everyone else is safe. I was just about to start ranting about how you can't kick off the pretty boy when Brant is announced as safe as well, so I can save that rant for another week.

 

They're careful to say this is not necessarily the bottom two, but I would believe it if it was. When final results are announced, Bill and Tyne are eliminated, meaning Christina and Mark will be back next week.

 

I'm a little surprised that popularity wouldn't have saved Bill Nye the Science Guy, but as they said, this might be a blessing in disguise, as there was no way he could've continued. Bill is gracious as always, expressing disappointment that Tyne will not be continuing either. Hopefully she'll be back next year!

 

As dancers are eliminated, I'm interested to see if the pacing of the show improves, as the last two weeks have seemed pretty rushed.

 

What do you think about the new format of the show? Which performance surprised you the most tonight? Let us know in the comments below!

 

Catch Dancing With the Stars every Monday at 8/7c on ABC!

 

(Image Courtesy of ABC)

 

Follow Kylene on Twitter at @keepingupwithky!