by David McAlpine

Last night on The Bachelor, Brad and the six remaining girls jetted off to Anguilla in the Caribbean. Romantic much? Normally these are the places where the final two go, but instead we're getting a whole lot of sexy women in one place, which I'm sure Brad loves.

In fact, he's so into it that there's not going to be three dates, but four: three 1-on-1 dates sans roses and one group date with a rose. Claws out? I think so. And it gets better: only four women will be advancing to the hometown dates. Not like the Bachelor girls can do math, but that's only a 66% chance that they'll be advancing.

The first 1-on-1 is fairly anticlimactic, since it goes to Emily and we all know what happens during Brad and Emily time. Brad fawns over Emily, Emily makes big googly eyes, they talk about her vulnerability, and she makes some big concession. This week's big concession: meeting her daughter during the hometown date.

But wait, Emily isn't so down with this. In fact, the whole date seems kind of awkward and forced. There's no more long talk, there doesn't seem to be as much giggling, it's just…two really attractive people sitting on a beach. But talk about forced, Brad forces himself upon Emily and says that's she for sure getting a rose this week because he wants to go to her hometown. Do we know how anticlimactic this season is going to be if Emily wins?

Shawntel is next and she gets to bike with Brad through a village, then dinner and some sexy time on the beach. I actually like Shawntel--and I say that because she seems to be the only normal, sane one left. Their date seemed so fluid, she didn't talk about anything crazy, there were no tears, it's like she's an actual person. I was shocked.

Britt finally got her 1-on-1 date with Brad, which seems to be very serious make it-or-break it time. Meanwhile, Michelle tells everyone how much her life sucks because she's on another group date. Oh, Michelle, I think everyone just writes you off as crazy now, not just the viewers.

Out on the yacht (which, after seeing, Michelle calls Britt a "waste of a date"), Brad and Britt are having trouble generating sparks. They go cliff jumping, the talk on the beach, go swimming, but by dinner, they're not feeling it (and, to be honest, neither am I). Where is Britt's head? She's normal! She's pretty! She can totally win him over!

But she fails miserably and Brad sends her home in the middle of the date. This is a date where she didn't even need to get a yes or a no and she got sent home! Poor Britt, we didn't want to see you go like this! She gets back to the hotel and all the girls are hugging her, but then she breaks down in tears and it's a console-fest (except for Michelle, who is clearly happy that her chances are now 80%, not 60%).

The next day, Brad comes in the middle of the night and gets the group date girls, Chantal, Michelle and Ashley (i.e. the three most unstable girls left) and takes them to an unknown location. Lucky them: they'll be posing for Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Edition!

Silence ensues. Ashley is worried her boobs are too small and Chantal immediately regrets everything she's eaten in the past two days.

"I'm a fat lard," Chantal complains.

Yet both of them, incredibly insecure, go topless during their shoot. Wow, go figure. The two girls who are complaining about their bodies are the ones rolling around in the sand half naked or holding shells on their boobs.

Meanwhile, Michelle is disgusted, even though I would have been the first person to nominate her for "most likely to roll around in the sand half-naked." Still, she needs to one-up them, so she straddles Brad on the sand, which massively pisses off Chantal and Ashley.

So the rest of the date is spent with each girl crying in her own corner, mostly sparked by Michelle's constant stoking of the flame. Though Michelle wanted the rose for herself, Brad ended up giving it to Ashley, which was the next best thing for Michelle, because then Chantal started asking to go home.

However, Brad was not taking any this episode. He didn't even want a rose ceremony because he had made up his mind. He sent Michelle packing and boy, she was stunned. She wouldn't talk the entire way out to the limo and, when she finally got there, all she could do was lay down and stare ahead. Creepy and psycho.

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.

(Photo courtesy of ABC)

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