by David McAlpine

Last night on The Bachelor, it was a night of revelations and drama (granted, there's always drama, but this was especially dramatic) with a twist of crazy as three more girls fell by the wayside in Brad Womack's quest to find love.

Right off the bat, Ashley S. is ushered off to her one-on-one date with Brad. For those of you who are confused. Ashley S. is the Southern Ashley, as well as the one with slightly longer hair. Another note: her voice is awful. How would we know that? Because the "date" her and Brad go on is a very shortened version of what was probably hours of the two of them in a recording studio butchering Seal's "Kiss From a Rose."

Conveniently, Ashley S. has a fear of singing in front of people (yes, all 4 of them in the room). But Brad holds her hand so they can slaughter the melody together and leave the producer with his head banging on the audio controls. Even better: "Kiss From A Rose" reminds Ashley S. of her dad--it's almost too much!

But when it rains on "The Bachelor," it pours, so Seal shows up to actually show them how the song is sang. The two share goggly eyes, tears and a kiss, and Ashley S. gets a rose. Sidenote for everyone who is playing a Bachelor fantasy game: Brad is too nice to not give anyone a rose on their date. Just a heads up.

Back to the Bachelor mansion, where Michelle is brooding because she hasn't had one-on-one time with Brad. What about the time she pulled him aside to specifically ask about his coffee habits and what he puts in his fridge? I guess that doesn't count because his tongue wasn't down her throat? Oh, Michelle.

Of course, she gets thrown on the group date with Alli, Britt, Kimberly, Chantal, Ashley H., Lisa, Stacey, Marissa, Shawntal, Sarah and Lindsay. She looks genuinely disappointed and puts her pouty face on so everyone can know that she's not happy with the way things are.

Brad greets the ladies at their first date spot: the middle of an abandoned warehouse. Suspicious, right? All of sudden, out of nowhere, ninja like men come at Brad trying to attack him. No! Not the most sought after bachelor on television during this timeslot!

Not to worry, though, Brad is prepared with all his fake stunt moves to beat them to the ground. Because that's exactly what all the girls will be doing today: fake beating some ninja ass while the other girls sit behind the scenes, brooding and gossiping.

Shawntel seems to be the only one with a hot kissing scene with Brad, which the director makes them do over and over and over again. Cue Michelle's hatred eyes. She wants her kiss with Brad to be real. "Sensual, sexy, slippery…" she mutters as she fumes about Shawntel's make out session.

Up to the rooftop bar, where you'd think all the drama would be gone because Melissa is gone, right? Wrong! Chantal (the divorced one, not the funeral director) starts crying to Brad because she doesn't feel special. Wait a second, her dad died, too, so she opts to play that card because she wants to live for today, not wait for tomorrow.

Speaking of dead loved ones, Emily gets the final one-on-one date with Brad and has no choice but to tell her sad story to the other contestants sitting around. The tears start to flow and, out of nowhere, Madison starts talking about if she should be there, leaving the show, etc. Since when did vampire girl have feelings?

Back to the pool, where Alli and Brad are trying to have a conversation when Michelle appears like a child of the corn and cuts them off. Then she cries to Brad about missing her daughter. Two minutes later in a confessional: she says she did what she needed to do to get his attention. That's a one-way ticket on the crazy train, don't you think?

Meghan really hits Emily right on the head as she's on her way out the door, describing her as a cross between Barbie and Mother Teresa. You're right, you can't hate Emily--and I sure don't! Emily and Brad look like a couple made in heaven, almost so much that I can't stand to watch.

At the beginning, Emily is guarded. She gets on a private plane even though she has a fear of flying (i.e. her fiancé died in a plane crash) and she answers everything in one to two sentences. Brad's head starts to spin with frustration, but she keeps hitting the ball back in his court, not wanting to say anything.

After dinner (and a little wine, I would imagine), Emily decides to share her story with Brad, and it looks like he's been hit across the face. Not necessarily in a bad way, just a stunned way. Brad starts asking about her daughter, what she's likes and, surprisingly, handles the situation well. Of course our Mother Barbie gets a rose and moves on to next week.

Before the cocktail party, Brad gets a visit from Jamie Green, a therapist, to talk about his feelings and what's going on. I hope ABC is paying him and not Brad, because it was more of a recap minus Chris Harrison.

For some reason, Madison is hit really hard about Emily's past. Could it be because she doesn't have a sad story? Does she have an even sadder story that she's afraid to tell? Either way, Madison seems to be completely sold on going home, but Brad won't let her off the hook yet. He wants her to stay through the rose ceremony and give her the option to reject the rose if he gives her one.

Madison only makes it two roses in when she decides to walk away. Brad seems genuinely confused, but I think all of America gets it: Madison is not crazy enough to be in this house just for you, Brad.

When Brad gets back, you can tell the girls are fine with it, because that's one down, only two to go. In the end, Kimberly and Sarah (who, right?) are left without roses. Since we really haven't seen much of them slash it's still pretty early in the competition, we got some great parting words.

Kimberly thinks guys are intimidated by her. She then rattles off some good qualities and has a good cry. Sarah, on the other hand, is a little more biting, but ends up just as pathetic complete with running mascara.

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.

(Photo courtesy of ABC)

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