by Sam McMillen

The Amazing Race 15

 

Okay... so this week's episode of The Amazing Race was absolutely PHENOMENAL!!!! I honestly don't even know where to begin. I'll try not to point out the obvious reasons why this leg was so stellar (it was neck and neck the whole time, the location looked like my screen saver, etc.), but some things just have to be mentioned. This episode has the teams trekking all over the islands of The Seychelles, so let's jump right into my favorite moments.

 

THE NEXT CLAY AIKEN

Alright, so this first little tid-bit is insignificant and a bit silly, but I have to comment on Jordan's melodic narratives. Whether it's "we're going to Saycheleez" or "we've got a rainbow following us", I can't help but notice that a lot of his quotes are delivered in the spirit of song. As a music lover, I instinctively enjoy this charming little eccentricity. Will it last the rest of the race? Is he just practicing to try out for Lady Gaga back-up vocals? Did anyone else even notice it? I guess we'll have to see.

 

TAKE A NUMBER

The first clue of the leg tells the teams they'll be taking a number from a kiosk after the plane lands in The Seychelles. Jordan catches the detail and draws the correct conclusion: you have to book it off the plane to get a good number because it will determine the order in which you leaves for the next task. Sure enough, the last three teams (the detectives, the lesbians and the cowboys) discover they will be leaving an hour after the first three teams since they have ticket numbers 4, 5 and 6 respectively . Carol and Brandy's confidence shines through as they assert that "the strongest three teams are the last three to leave". (I'm guessing at this point every team is thinking "the strongest three teams are the detectives, the cowboys and us"). Turns out, the order in which teams arrive to the kiosk is almost exactly the same as the order in which they arrive to the pit-stop. This was huge, and just goes to show how important the smallest little details are. For example...

 

SPOTS ON A PLANE

While the title of this section may sound a lot like the movie that is arguably Samuel L. Jackson's greatest performance to date, it is actually a theme from this week's episode. Getting seats closest to the front of the plane seemed to be an obsession in my season. I still remember sprinting back and forth for at least twenty minutes through the airport in Riga, Latvia on our way from Estonia to Prague, trying to be the first ones to the ticket counter just so we could sit one row in front of the other teams. It was desperate, exhausting, embarrassing and exhilarating all at the same time. I friggin hated that part. Since the kiosk is only a short distance from where the plane lands, the three teams closest to the front of the plane (allowing them to de-board first) get the first three numbers. This puts them on the first three helicopters and an hour ahead of the last three teams. I think if the detectives and the cowboys had made the same observation as Jordan in France, they would have harassed the ticket counter people for seats closest to the front of the plane as soon as they got the chance. Instead, they grabbed a leisurely bite at the airport café. I loved that this came into play because it's the perfect example of how the littlest things can make the hugest difference on The Race.

 

NOT QUITE AESOP'S FABLES

So this week's Detour involved animals on both sides, pitting a >100 yr old tortoise against a pissed of ox. Animal challenges are greatly feared by racers, because you never know exactly how God's little creatures are going to treat you that day. Nothing would ruin this priceless experience like getting out because of an animal (just ask Ari and Staella from Season 12, eliminated in the first leg because of a stubborn ass... literally). Just like most of the remaining teams, Carol and Brandy's tortoise didn't want anything to do with the ladies and ran away as quickly as his chubby little legs could take him. On the other side of the Detour, Brent and Ciate's ox was slow as molasses (even though Brent said HEEYAAHHH about 2.7 million times). I honestly wonder who would win in a foot race: that ox or Louie. In the end, the top prize in this week's version of "The Seychelles' Funniest Animal Videos" (unfortunately, not hosted by Mario Lopez) definitely goes to Dan and Jordan's ox (a.k.a. Box The Ox), who must have popped four or five Ex-Lax before heading to work that day.

 

LEAVING THE BAGS BEHIND

I knew I loved Steve and Allie for a reason. After the Detour, the team begins the 1.5 mile hike for their next clue... without their bags. Truthfully, they were probably well aware of the fact that they didn't have their bags; sometimes it's unclear if you'll be returning to that spot and the clue included no specifics on what to do with the bags. Who knows, maybe Steve's shimmying for the locals threw them off. Upon realizing the other teams have their bags at the shore, the father/daughter duo debates whether they should go all the way back to get them or just consider the bags history. This is the coolest thing about The Race and the epitome of world travel in my opinion. There's a sense of freedom in traveling bare. You have no distractions, you can free your mind of all the petty possessions from your regular daily life, and all you're left with is the moment... which is more valuable than any make-up or clothes in the world. This is why I love Steve and Allie. They are willing to run the rest of The Race wearing only board shorts and a banana covered tank-top. I must admit, I felt like a proud father when they chose to go full steam ahead. I'm curious to see if they are smart enough next week to stop by the spot after the leg begins and see if their bags are still there. You can't go looking for them between pit-stop and pit-start, but once the next leg begins, it's fair game. Who knows, maybe they'll need the duct tape again.

 

WE'RE DONE, WE'RE DONE

It seems these two words make up one of the most commonly uttered phrases on the race. When something goes wrong (sometimes horribly wrong), your first reaction is "there's no possible way we can recover from this". It's like the feeling you get ten minutes into any Tara Reid movie. This week, we hear it most forcefully from Carol/Brandy and Brent/Caite as soon as the poor innocent coconut collector tells them they don't have enough coconuts. Brent threatens to quit, obviously disheveled by yet another missed detail. Carol and Brandy also appear quite defeated, understandable considering the other Detour option (Turtle Toddle) failed them as well. Ironically (or perhaps not) these two teams seem to have the most drama going on around them. They're without a doubt the most volatile teams, which isn't necessarily a bad thing in my opinion. Just an observation. Each moment of the race is filled with such desperation, any false step feels like your last. You just have to realize that the best thing it to just buckle down and GET IT DONE!!! You're going to anyways, so you might as well not waste time overreacting. In the end, as we see with both of these teams this week, you're usually fine.

 

WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE THE LESBIANS?

It's pretty obvious that most the remaining teams want Carol and Brandy out. I think a little bit of that is because they're a strong team, but an even more significant reason is that they're making enemies. Caite keeps referring to them as "the mean lesbians", constantly referring to their comment about her tiara in the airport. That's weird, because I thought women DIDN'T hold grudges. I think it's clear that they need to be kissing butt a lot more considering the fact that the U-turn was used against Joe and Heidi for PERSONAL reasons, and there's a good chance the teams will run into another U-Turn before the finish line. Jet and Cord don't like them because of a lack in "genuine friendliness", while Mike and Louie say it's because the ladies exude a "negative energy". I'm not saying you should become blood brothers and sisters with the other teams, but making enemies is a very sneaky poison on the race course. I still love Team L Word, so hopefully the constant references to their "unpopularity" aren't foreshadowing a tragic coup.

 

NO BAGS, NO MERCY

So Steve and Allie's helicopter prayers paid off as they come in first this leg. And their consolation prize is pretty awesome to boot: dinner and a massage on the beach, a lifetime supply of 7Up, and $7K each. The clip leading up to their success really cracked me up. We see Steve and Allie running around trying to find Phil at the pit-stop. As in all TAR episodes, they make it look like Dan and Jordan are close on their tails and the 1st place prize could be anyone's. I have to say, this part of this particular episode looked more like a scene from a bad horror film. You know the type... when the teenager is running from the monster who is walking but still seems to make up ground. Allie is running around the side of a pool, saying "we gotta hurry!" and "I feel like I'm going to faint!" Quick - cut to a shot of Dan and Jordan wading up to the beach in slow motion, eyes glazed over. It was very "Creatures From The Seychelles Lagoon". Think I'm crazy? Watch that part again, you'll see.

 

A big congrats to Steve and Allie, what a great prize for a great duo. They've been consistently at the top and I think they're going to stay there. Hopefully the fact that their bags are now property of Tommy the Tortoise won't slow them down too much. Team Wranglers came in last but were saved as this was a predetermined non-elimination leg. They really struggled this week: seats on the back of the plane, last helicopter out, left a coconut in the Detour, left the map on the boat a mile from shore... I think you get my point. We'll see if they redeem themselves next week, despite the added stress of a Speed Bump. Next week takes place in Malaysia (so jealous, it was on my Top 3 list before our race started), so I'm really excited to see what happens!

 

Next week, I'll be featuring guest commentary from some fellow Season 15 Racers, so be sure to tune in and see their reactions to Episode 8 and Season 16 as a whole.

 

 

The Amazing Race airs Sundays at 8/7c on CBS.

 

(Image courtesy of CBS)

 

 

Follow Sam at twitter.com/sammcmillen

 

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