by David McAlpine

Last week on The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love, Michelle got a giant dose of reality when Jake sent her packing early after she went absolutely crazy on him. The hate for Vienna continued to fuel fights in the house, and Jake was left wondering why everyone hated her so much.

Tonight, the girls find out that they'll be leaving their posh mansion for good. Instead, they'll be traveling up the coast of California in two huge RVs, ready to rough it. Doesn't this remind us a little bit of Rock of Love Bus? I thought ABC was a little classier than that. Also, the girls are told there will be one 1-on-1 date, one group date and one 2-on-1 date, where one girl will automatically be sent home. Cue tension!

Everyone starts talking about the showdown that is the 2-on-1 date and who they think will be going on it. Gia breaks the mood and suggests Vienna and Ali, which makes everyone squeal, partially because of how funny it would be, and partially because of how real the fight would get. But ABC has become the master of building tension, so we can't let Vienna and Ali duke it out yet, duh.

The girls arrive at Jake's camp where he's got the perfect camping attire on, making the girls swoon. Vienna is a little overly touchy-feely with Jake, and you can tell even he's uncomfortable with the whole situation, especially with what went down last week. His last order of business is to give Gia a date card, then to disappear in the woods.

Gia's date is outdoorsy, which Jake isn't sure she can handle. However, during their sunset picnic, Gia starts opening up to him more than he thought she would. I mean, let's be honest, it's more than anyone thought she would--Jersey Shore hasn't done much to bolster the reputation of that part of the country.

The date kind of evolves into a cute, grown-up version of spin the bottle (but not too grown up, this is network television we're talking about), which Gia and Jake both seem to be seeing stars from. It's almost as if she forgot that all they have to eat is camp food! Gia brings up the fact that she wants to adopt a baby girl from China, which puts a little speed bump in their date. Jake seems to take the news ok and hands Gia a rose, giving her a pass into next week's dating festivities.

Back at the RV, the group date card arrives addressed to Ashleigh, Ali, Corrie, Jessie, Tenley and Vienna. After a quick process of elimination, everyone realizes the 2-on-1 date of doom is a showdown between Kathryn and Ella. Dun dun dun!

Cut to the group date, where the girls get to get down and dirty with Jake by riding dune buggies on the beach. Vienna gets super jealous right away when Ali climbs in shotgun with Jake, but she's quick to justify it with the fact that she's going to win, so it won't really matter.

Jessie on the other hand doesn't have such a good time, because her dune buggy gets stuck i the sand because she wasn't going fast enough. Thus Jake, one of the least outspoken guys I've ever seen on TV, calls her "timid." Fair assessment? I wouldn't say so, but we'll go with it. Corrie tells us how much she doesn't like group situations, but she manages to muster up the courage to be the only Bachelorette to roll down the sand dune with Jake.

Jake invites all the girls inside to the inn for some booze and food (but just mostly booze), where Ashleigh gets very close during her one-on-one time. I mean leg over leg, zipper playing, touchy-touchy close, which Jake is not comfortable with. Of course, he's nice about it, simply stating that there's no chemistry with them, but it's clear that it's just not his thing.

Jake starts making his rounds at the group date and finally gets to Vienna, who has the guts to ask him if she can have the last one-on-one time with him. he's flustered, but he recovers and says ok. Quietly, Ali watches, hoping that Vienna's slip up will be the nail in her coffin. However, she's worried, too, because she starts rose fishing during her one-on-one time.

Back to Vienna, who gets the last shot with Jake. Her attempt to be the last thing he remembers that night completely falls apart when her tries to kiss him turn into unnecessary whining about why she can't have him to herself. This is a group dating show after all, I'm not sure what she signed up for. This prompts Jake to give her a little bit of truth: she brings a lot of the hate upon herself. Vienna can see things heading quickly downhill, so she tries to patch everything up. A bunch of awkward silences later, Tenley is getting the night's rose.

The next day, Ella and Kathryn head out on their showdown, which is going to culminate in an intimate dinner between the three of them in Jake's cabin. Ella clearly wants it, so she goes for the jugular, completely cutting off Kathryn in every way possible, then gets some one-on-one time with Jake. While she's alone, Kathryn is clearly pessimistic about how the date is going, but at the same time, Jake is preparing Ella for the fact that he may not be ready to get engaged to a single mom.

So here I am, thinking Kathryn actually pulled it off, that Jake was really afraid to talk to her because of her good looks. He takes Ella out on the porch and sends her packing--then sends Kathryn home, too, because he just doesn't see them together. At least he's consolidating, but both women are shocked that neither got to stay. Their exit interviews are pure entertainment, while Jake ritually burns the date's rose in the campfire.

Finally, the rose ceremony rolls around and everyone is hungry for a rose since only one of them will be headed home. Obviously, they all want Vienna out. Jessie spends her time with Jake telling him how bad Vienna is for him, which is a sign that she'll be the singular woman without a rose tonight. Vienna swoops in in a much more subdued manner, but still gutsy as ever, alluding to the fact that she's excited to meet his family. And he eats it up!

So with Tenley and Gia holding roses, only Ashleigh, Ali, Corrie, Jessie and Vienna remain--5 girls, 4 roses. Ali snags rose number one and Corrie gets number two. After looking at rose number three, Jake puts it down and walks out, followed by Chris Harrison. Cue the shock faces on all the women.

Outside, Jake starts sputtering about one girl and two girls; either way he seems incredibly nervous. Chris asks for clarification and Jake boils it down: does he hae to give out two more roses? Instead of answering it then and there, Chris brings Jake back in, then informs the women that Jake believes two of them aren't proposal material. You can see the hope escaping all their eyes when Vienna gets the final rose, leaving Ashleigh and Jessie to pack their bags.

The remaining suitors are left fuming that Vienna is still there, while I'm waiting for a black hole to open and swallow us alive because of the tension mounting in the house. I, along with everyone else, have no idea why he keeps picking her, but he does, and it keeps us coming back for more.

Tune in to The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love next Monday at 8/7c on ABC to see which Bachelorette is left without a rose!

(Image courtesy of ABC)

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