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Eric Stein Sizes Up The Big Brother 11 HouseGuests - Week 5

Posted on 08/13/2009 by RealityWanted in Big Brother and Reality Wrap

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Eric Stein Big Brother

As I noted in last week’s column, I am strongly of the belief that this will prove to be a lost week in the BB house.  With the hierarchy and certain loyalties in the house changing every minute, nothing that transpired under Chima’s HoH watch will ultimately matter due to the coup.  Or as Jeff would say, the coop.  There is only one question of relevance this week: should Jeff use the coup or not?  The answer is a resounding YES.  You cannot win Big Brother without making at least one big move in the game.  You can go far, but you won’t win without it.  I’ve heard several past HGs and fans saying that Jeff should leave well enough alone and not rock the boat.  That is a very short-sighted and frankly wimpy outlook.  Have some balls people.  This is a chance to definitively and permanently change the power structure in the house for good.  And there is very little way for this to come back to hurt Jeff.  This is a game-ender for the alliance that has dominated this game thus far.  Here’s what happens.  Jessie and Natalie go up.  Jessie goes home.  Chima will be furious, but it doesn’t matter – she can’t play HoH next week, so she has no power.  That leaves only Natalie competing against Jeff, Jordan, Michelle, Lydia, and Kevin in the HoH comp.  Whoever wins will put up Chima/Natalie, whoever stays on the block out of them goes home, and just like that – the Coup has been used without damaging Jeff’s game whatsoever.

In other BB news, it BLOWS, SUCKS (isn’t it weird that blows and sucks mean the same thing?), STINKS, etc. that Jessie is likely going to go home as a result of the twist for the second straight year.  Love him or hate him…that is extremely unfortunate.  The guy deserves to play the game and go out or win on his own terms.  And he 100% knows it’s coming too.  I genuinely feel badly for him.  He’s been extremely passionate about playing the game this year and this is a rough way for his game to possibly end.  Naturally, as fans of the show, you watch it for rooting and entertainment purposes.  Most of us are beyond excited for tonight’s drama.  In turn, it’s easy to forget that these are real people, who are truly affected by the events of the house – they are not characters.  So the storyline of the evil, tyrannical ringleader getting the surprise ouster courtesy of good guy Jeff and his wizard powers is great…but the actuality of it for Jessie is a majorly crappy.  When I see him after the show, the beers are on me.

Since I’m insistent that nothing that happened in the house this week will matter once the coup is used, there’s no point in analyzing it.  Call the whole week a wash.  So I’m going to talk about other reality shows instead!  If you don’t care about anything other than BB, you’re going to want to stop reading here. 

The Real World: Cancun.  How lame is it that they sent Joey home?  I mean, what did they think was going to happen when they sent these kids to Cancun to work at Spring Break?  They were going to party, miss shifts, and hook up with their clients…duh!!!  That’s why they gave them that job in the first place - so how can you hold that against them?  The Brooklyn cast didn’t even have jobs last season and now they’re going to send home the season’s breakout player because he overslept?  Lame!  Remove the job element from the show…nobody watches the RW to watch work-related storylines.  C’mon now Bunim-Murray, how have you not figured this out by now?

Hell’s Kitchen.  Have you missed any episodes of the show and need to catch up?  Don’t worry, there’s any easy fix.  Just put on any episode of any previous season and you will see the exact same thing that you missed this week.  Repetition, thy name is Hell’s Kitchen.  I’ll admit – I’d love for Gordon Ramsey to call me a donkey.  And I still laugh every time his voice cracks.  But otherwise, this show is in serious need of a reboot.  As a side note, I read today that 8 out of the 13 NY area restaurants that were shown on Kitchen Nightmares have since closed.  Being that the program supposedly features Ramsey saving struggling restaurants that really makes you go hmmmm, doesn’t it?

More to Love and Dating in the Dark.  If reality TV has taught us anything this summer season, it’s that the America public is very vain and judgmental…and you can add me to that list. On Dating in the Dark, week after week the participants make strong connections, only to run the other way as soon as the lights go on.  And the ratings for More to Love have not been good at all.  More to Love’s own marketing campaign really says all you need to know – “the average contestant on a reality dating show is a size 2.”  Well, there’s a reason for that – that’s what the audience wants.  Obviously, it’s not just about watching a storybook romance unfold – otherwise this show would be doing great.  It’s also about looking at a bunch of half-naked hotties.  Time to accept it – we are a bunch of vain MF’ers.  For everyone who claims that personality is all that matters – you’re lying.

Top Chef: Masters.  I think this has been a bit of a snoozer.  The masters don’t have the charisma that the usual contestants bring to the show.  The competitions are retreads.  Just, eh.  Moving on!

The Bachelorette.  Hahahahaha, holy shit that US Weekly article about Ed was funny.  Is this guy for real?  More and more evidence is pouring out to bury this guy for good.  Before all is said and done, Jason Mesnick is going to look like a modern day hero next to this clown.  The premature ejaculating Ed has now been exposed to also be a slimy, cheating, double-talking liar.  And let’s not forget those green shorts.  Or how boring he was.  While I think Reid would make a strong choice for the next bachelor, I think that they need to take a breather from spinning off their own characters.  They need some fresh blood that falls outside of the Deanna-Jason-Jillian lineage of love.  By the way, I wonder if I’m allowed to say “shit” or “premature ejaculating” on this site.  I guess we’re about to find out!  If you don’t like such words, cover your eyes.  Oh wait, I guess it’s too late now.  (Insert curse word of choice here), oh well.

Megan Wants To Marry A Millionaire.  Boy oh boy, they found some great characters for this show.  The only problem is that they aren’t even making any false pretenses that there’s even any chance whatsoever of Megan legitimately finding a love match here.  She does, can, and will do a million times better than these guys – but that doesn’t make it any less funny to watch.  Who doesn’t like watching one suitor intentionally smash another’s glitter piggy bank?  Ha.  And quick shout out to my girl, Brandi.  Although I’m friends with plenty of reality stars in day-to-day life, it’s still a lot of fun to get to root them on and watch them kick some butt on TV.

So You Think You Can Dance.  I think this is a truly fantastic show.  In terms of the talent-based competition shows, I think SYTYCD showcases the most elite level of talent week in and week out.  While Idol is impressive, I think many of us know a handful of people who can sing really well.  I greatly appreciate the caliber of performance that this show brings to us each week.  Unfortunately, there seems to be an inherent flaw in the competition, because the executive producers admitted this week that they best dancer has never won in the history of the show.  They noted that Blake, Travis, Danny, Katie/Will, and Brandon were the best dancers in their respective season, but yet none of them were recognized with the ultimate prize.  I happen to agree that Brandon rocked it all season long and would have made for the most deserving winner in my opinion.  Other personal favorites included Ashley (Kupono’s original partner who got the boot in week 2), Caitlin, and Evan when he was performing his own genre.

Real Chance of Love 2.  I hate myself for watching this.  I don’t believe that they can carry their own show, I disliked virtually every second of season 1, yet I’m still watching it.  I have a problem.

There Goes The Neighborhood, The Great American Road Trip, The T.O. Show.  Once I start watching a reality show, I’m usually hooked.  I canceled all three of these shows after one viewing.  That pretty much says it all.  TGTN is like a VERY watered down Big Brother, in which the contestants actually like each other.  How cutthroat can you really be when you’re playing with a 7 year old on your team and you’re competing against your dear friends?  Eh, who am I kidding?  I’ll obviously have a viewing party for next week’s episode.

The Shark Tank and The Colony.  If you’re looking for some good new shows to watch, check these out.  The Colony is on the Discovery Channel and it’s about building a post-apocalyptic community.  It’s a tad slow moving, but it’s intelligent, complex, and it’s hilarious every time the rogue, motorcycle-driving hooligans try to raid their camp.  The Shark Tank isn’t the most original program.  It’s pretty much steals the format of American Inventor and pairs it with The Benefactor.  Yet, I found it to be pretty engaging and well done as almost all Mark Burnett shows tend to be.

One final quick hit before I call it a day.  This upcoming Tuesday, August 18th, Realitywanted’s own Nick Starcevic and BB9’s Chelsia Hart will be joining me for a kickass event in Seattle.  It’s going to be a really intimate, interactive, no-holds barred night.  Learn everything you wanna know about the casting process, see an example of a casting audition tape that can get you cast on a major network show, and hear plenty of great behind-the-scenes tales.  There’ll also be drinking, prizes, autographs, blah blah blah – all that good stuff.  If you’re in the Seattle area, come out and hang with us.  Here’s the link to buy tix:


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