by Gina Scarpa

 

Considering how insane the twins are driving me on Bachelor Pad, I can only imagine what it's actually like for these people to have to live with them! One twin is upset because the other one called her a slut... repeatedly... and made her cry... repeatedly. Not sure which one is which but it doesn't really matter anyway because if they don't win the challenge, they'll be screaming and crying all the way back home to Florida.

 

Oh, the challenge! It seems Bachelor Pad is out to humiliate its contestants and this week, they'll dress in tight, spandex leotards and perform a rhythmic gymnastics routine. ABC parades out Ashley and JP like circus animals (Look! They're happy together! The show works!) along with Olympian Tasha Schwikert to judge the performances. One might think the girls would have the better showing but one would be wrong. They scream, laugh, and get their ribbons all tangled up while Erica Rose kicks spastically, perhaps unaware that there was actual choreography. Not only were the guys better, but it actually wasn't half bad, which was equally hilarious and impressive at the same time. Tasha chooses Blakeley and Michael as the best, but Erica Rose and Ed as the worst. Apparently, Ed needed to be sassier.

 

Michael promises Erica Rose that he'll keep her safe but doesn't invite her on the group date, because he's looking for romance this time around, not money. He takes Lindzi, Rachel, and Donna, who can barely contain her excitement, to a concert with Adelitas Way. Who? He gives his time to each girl, but clearly is into Rachel considering he makes out with her in front of everyone. Donna has a hard time accepting it so she shyly shows him creepy drawings that she made from looking at pictures of him and he rewards her with her very own makeout session. Write every detail down in your journal Donna, so you can remember and relive every minute!

 

Blakeley invites Chris on the group date but goes against what he wants and invites Ed and David as well. The three compete in a soapbox derby, where Ed wins by a nose. That slightly makes up for the fact that he turned in the worst dance performance earlier. But not for the fact that he has a vote against him already for elimination. After the race, David tries to appeal to Blakeley's emotional side by comparing himself to her, saying she knows what it feels like not to have anybody to look out for or defend her. Unfortunately for the superfan, she's too blinded by her partner and gives him the rose instead.

 

I'm just going to stop for a minute and ask: What the hell happened to Chris?! Have you ever seen camera time get to someone's head so fast? I swear, I never thought I'd see the day he became a villain. I'm starting to think he's worse than Kalon... who I actually like so far on Bachelor Pad! Speaking of Jamie, she's busy juggling her feelings for Chris with trying to avoid her partner, Ryan, who's not getting the hint.

 

The night before the rose ceremony, it's Bachelor Pad Gone Wild in the house. There's David and one of the twins hooking up in the hot tub, as well as Rachel and Michael on the couch. Kalon and Lindzi cuddle up in a bed somewhere, while Jaclyn is beaten to the punch with a very drunk Ed by Sarah, who refuses to be the only one in the house not hooking up. Don't worry, you weren't going to be. And you really didn't need the guy drinking out of his soapbox derby trophy.

 

The twins end up getting into another fight about I seriously don't even know what and it goes on all night, literally, until one decides she wants to leave. Don't ask me why the other agrees but I guess they're a package deal so if one wants to go, they both go. The one hooking up with David tries to say goodbye to him but he's too drunk to wake up and then has no recollection of it the next day when everyone lets him know they're gone. Classy.

 

That's good news for the women because now, they're all safe for the week. Reid decides to take a stab at getting Ed out. I'm still trying to figure out why he harbors resentment about Jillian. Move on. There are others that want to see Ryan go, with Jamie being the deciding vote. Would she really vote her own partner out of the game? Oh yes she would and is now hoping to steal Chris away from Blakeley to team up with in the game. There's no chance and probably will find herself in a little bit of trouble along with Sarah, who stupidly told Ed to his face that she voted for him. Some people in this game seriously need a lesson in strategy.

 

Bachelor Pad airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.

 

(Image courtesy of ABC)

 

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