by Mike Bandy

The season 4 premiere of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, started off with a very pregnant Kim at a storage unit with her boyfriend Kroy. They were preparing to move into her dream home (a house complete with a movie theater and a room for all her wigs), so she needed to empty out her storage unit filled with crap from days gone by. Kroy moved everything while Kim sat in the car with Sweetie. Oh, and we got to hear Kim talk about Kroy's amazing...um...assets. I wonder how many MORE times we'll have to hear about that this season.

Next we got to catch up with NeNe, with Bryson and Brentt, at a car dealership, where she was looking to buy Bryson a car. As it turns out, Bryson just wasn't ready to leave home, and since he already crashed his car, he needed to have another one so that he could run errands for his mother. Atlanta must be smaller than we all thought - the owner of the dealership was a man that NeNe once dated! She was sure to milk that for a discount, because as she said, Trump taught her how to negotiate on Celebrity Apprentice. NeNe then made a point to let all of us know that she paid cash for the car right there on the spot, and gave a shout out to her haters.

It was at that moment that I, a long-time NeNe supporter and lover, first felt the pangs of distaste for her. I know, I was shocked too! But you know, I just hate when people throw their money around like that. If you've got it going on, then have it going on without putting it in other people's faces! Just saying...

Meanwhile, Lawrence was in the studio recording some new music, and Sheree dropped in to see him. Then she told him a story about how NeNe tried to screw her out of some money and went behind her back at a publicity event. Allegedly, after Sheree tried to bring NeNe in on said event, NeNe told a promoter that Sheree shouldn't be involved at all. Sheree was bent on having a talk with NeNe about it, which I was sure would definitely make for some fireworks!

Next, on America's Next Top Model....oh wait...that WAS Miss Jay, but he was in town to help Cynthia start off her new modeling agency. He came to help the models with their walks and talk about what they needed to do to really break into the business. There was even a girl from a past cycle of Top Model there, though they didn't mention her.

Then we caught up with Phaedra, on the sad occasion of her great aunt's passing, and the family was all together to make arrangements for her. The plans for the funeral were...oh, how can I put this...I'll just borrow a word from Kandi: Boughetto! With all the talk about men in top hats, a marching band, and a hearse that played music, I just couldn't keep up with all the shenanigans. Why would you bring a camera crew to plan a funeral anyway?! This was sure to be a spectacle.

Hey, speaking of Kandi, did you know that she wants to start a sex toy line? She met up with Sheree and Phaedra at a local sex toy shop, where they got demonstrations on different products the store offered (oh, calm down, it's not as bad as it sounds!). Did you also know that there are vibrators that exist that can be synced to vibrate with music on your Ipod? I didn't...but then, why would I ever need to? I'm no prude, but some things are just kinda unnecessary, don't you think?

Back to Kim, who was lying in bed and complaining about being pregnant, while eating everything in sight. There was a phone call with Kroy, who was out of town for a conference, and with everybody together in the big bed, they actually seemed like one big happy family! Perish the thought...

Perish also the thought of Phaedra's great aunt's funeral - which was just as big a spectacle as I predicted it'd be! Not only was there the aforementioned top hats, but they actually DID get a hearse to play music. It was THE most EXTRA thing I've ever seen in my life, and it inspired Phaedra to want to get into the funeral business, because she has a way of comforting people. To me, it seems like the only thing that truly died that day, aside from her dear great aunt, was taste and class.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's the moment we've all been waiting for: The NeNe & Sheree Showdown!!

It started out innocently enough, with NeNe saying that she didn't want to get out of character, and Sheree agreeing, but then both of them got enough out of character for everyone on the show combined. Phone numbers were dialed, insults were hurled, and absolutely nothing was accomplished, except for some GREAT sound bites. NeNe told Sheree that she was, indeed, very rich, and Sheree suggested that if she was so rich, she should get her teeth fixed. Low blow! Even lower was Sheree following NeNe into the parking lot, yelling insults at her. I was amazed at her aggressiveness, and even more amazed that NeNe backed down from it!

I was almost too happy with the outcome when Cynthia showed up at NeNe's house to talk about what happened. NeNe was crying and talking about how she can't believe Sheree took the word of someone else over her, and she seemed genuinely hurt by the whole situation. Cynthia reminded NeNe that she's blowing up and getting everything she always wanted, and people are just hating. I'm sure that that's a possibility, but I think it's more that NeNe's past is beginning to catch up with her. She's been the catalyst behind A LOT of confrontation on the show, and maybe now she's paying the price.

What did you think of the first episode of the season? Do you think Kim and NeNe will reconcile once the baby is born? Were you shocked by Sheree's aggressiveness too? And what about Lawrence's music? So much to discuss!!