by Michael J. Lamp

 

This week's episode of Top Chef: DC begins with Amanda convincing herself she's among the "best of the best" and Kenny complaining about winding up in the middle all the time.

 

The Quickfire Challenge is the tag team cook-off. Ed and Kevin get to select teams and - surprise, surprise - Alex gets picked last. Ed is not thrilled to have him. I have this image of him up in his bedroom at the Top Chef house, while all the other sasstestants are boozing and talking about him in the kitchen. In my mind, they only hang out in the kitchen.

 

The first leg of the cook-off is Tiffany vs. Kenny. They'll start the dishes, while the other teammates are blindfolded. One by one, the other teammates will take off their blindfolds and pick up where the previous chef left off.

 

Judging the dishes along with Padma is Speaker of the House, herself, Nancy Pelosi. She gets a lot of ish from people a lot of the time, but I like the old girl.

 

Team One consists of Kevin, Kenny, Amanda and Kelly. They made sautéed shrimp over angel hair pasta. Nancy seems pleased. It reminds her of her native San Fran.

 

Team Two is Ed, Tiffany, Angelo and Alex. They are serving Madame Speaker red snapper. Nancy notices the extra salt. Tiffany says its Alex's fault. No real surprises there. The winners are Kevin's team - they'll split $10,000 amongst the four of then.

 

Nancy walks off, well it's more of a march, and it's time for the Elimination Challenge. This, however, is no normal challenge. It's the big one. Restaurant Wars, mofos! The chefs will cook at Redwood Restaurant in Bethesda, Maryland and famed New York Times Restaurant Critic Frank Bruni will serve as Guest Judge.

 

The teams will remain the same from the Quickfire Challenge. Almost immediately, Ed and Angelo begin strategizing on how to ensure that Alex handles front of house, in an effort to keep his ass out of the kitchen. They (the ‘red' team) are serving tomato confit soup, striped bass & clams and sautéed rib eye.

 

Across the kitchen, Kenny assumes the role of Executive Chef (to rival Angelo, no doubt), and his ‘blue' team is serving chilled corn soup, strip steak and halibut. Kelly will manage the front of house.

 

Angelo's restaurant is "EVOO," which I'm sure sufficiently annoys Rachael Ray. The cooking begins, and Tiffany almost immediately has to correct Alex's fish fiasco. Apparently, she found lots ‘o' bones and scales. Not yummy. Angelo is starting to unravel. I think he might rip Alex's face off. Meanwhile, Kenny's team couldn't be calmer. I feel like this is a set up, what do you think? Kenny's blue team is called "2121," named for their Top Chef: D.C. mailing address.

 

Alex and Kelly are managing the wait staff as the other chefs work in the kitchen. Kelly's playing the nice girl, while Alex channels Mussolini. Before long, the guests begin to arrive.

 

The judges are seated before Alex notices them. For those of you unfamiliar with Restaurant Wars, that is, um, not a good thing. The consensus from the judges seems to be that 2121 serves up good, sometimes great food, but lacks any semblance of service. The judges walked out of 2121 and over to EVOO without receiving a "Thanks for coming" or even "Peace Out, Suckas." Oh, Alex. You're so attentive.

 

Over at EVOO, Amanda is struggling with some overcooked meat, but Kelly is picking up the slack out front. She's not as pissy as she used to be, which I appreciate. The service is better over here, but the food seems inconsistent, at best. Frank Bruni nearly spit out Kenny's goat cheese dish, calling it a "monstrosity." That's just not what you want to hear.

 

Angelo's EVOO comes out on top. I'm slightly irritated that Alex's heinous service is being rewarded, but I suppose, in the end, good food trumps good service. Ed wins the top prize of the night, along with a trip to the Terlato Vineyards in Napa.

 

So who from Restaurant 2121 is headed home? Kenny is playing his usual "I can't believe this" game and Amanda is shocked her meat was overcooked, which is weird, because I'm pretty sure Kelly told her it was overcooked during dinner service.

 

Now, things are getting really interesting. Realizing the gravity of the situation, Kenny and Kevin decide to take a very special approach. They are trying to convince the judges to send Alex home, for not having enough of a role in the creation of the opposing team's meal. This leads to a lot of yelling in the room where they get drunk and wait to get kicked off. A lot of yelling and standing up and pointing fingers. And more yelling.

 

The judges don't entertain the thought of sending someone from the winning team home. Instead, they send Kenny home. Seriously.

 

Take a minute to digest that. (Again, the puns are intended.) He leaves the Top Chef kitchen - and the show, still thinking that Alex should've been sent home. I can't wait to talk to this dude.

 

 

Top Chef: DC airs Wednesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.

 

(Image courtesy of Bravo)

 

 

Follow Michael at twitter.com/mjlamp

 

For more Top Chef: DC links, visit SirLinksALot.net