by Michael Lamp

 

This week's episode of Top Chef: D.C. is not for the weak of heart - or of stomach.

 

The Quickfire Challenge was to create a dish using ‘exotic' ingredients. It turns out that exotic is just another word for crazy. Most of the chefs were a bit put off by the idea of cooking yak or llama, but not Angelo. He embraced his duck balls and decided to create a marshmallow ‘o' ball. That's right, he was cooking with testes. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on who you ask), Padma threw the chefs a curveball, which would relinquish Angelo from testicle duty. The chefs had to stop their cooking, turn to their left, and cook with that chef's protein. This left Kevin to deal with the duck crotch.

 

After the food was tasted (and the balls descended), Stephen, Alex and Andrea were named the worst of the bunch. This did not please Andrea, who was already freaking out about guest judge Michelle Bernstein. Apparently, Andrea and Michelle are quite the adversaries within the Miami food scene. Saucy!

 

Kelly made the most of the ‘exotic' challenge, claiming victory with her goat cheese and emu egg omelet. Sounds...neat. I'll take the judges' word for it and assume it was delicious.

 

The Elimination Challenge, dubbed the "Cold War" challenge, required the chefs to create cold entrees. The catch to this challenge is that the chefs were split into two groups and each group became part of the judging panel, critiquing the other chefs' cuisines. The cheftestants were asked to select the best and worst from the opposing side. Sounds like the perfect chance to throw your enemies under the bus, doesn't it?

 

Angelo is helping the others, and the others are suspicious. I have a feeling they have every right to be cautious of his tutelage. In no time, the first group is serving their dishes to the judging panel, including their competitors.

 

Amanda serves up chicken galantine and the other chefs really nail her. Seems like they're being a little too picky, but it's hard to say you wouldn't do the same in their situation. The group throws some surprising love behind Kevin's surf ‘n' turf, before returning to the sass and ripping apart Kenny's duo of grilled lamb. It's worth noting that Angelo is particularly harsh, to the surprise of exactly no one. Alex's sous vide lamb and Ed's vichyssoise aren't received much better, though, and in the end, the judging group crowns Kevin the champion - and sends Kenny to the chopping block.

 

Turnabout is fair play, as the group of overly judgy judges becomes the judged. But that's after Ed brags about ‘banging' Angelo's girlfriend back in the day. Classy gent.

 

The second group of cheftestants turned judges definitely made their opinions known, but they did so in a decidedly less heinous manner than the first group, although they do attempt to slander Angelo much like the other group did to Kenny.

 

Tiffany's peppercorn-crusted ahi tuna is a huge hit, but people aren't really feelin' feelin' the flavor profile in Andrea's trio of tare tares. Stephen's chilled beef is as underwhelming as most of his other creations. Angelo's slow poached Salmon is met with not-so-welcoming stomachs, but Tamesha's overly spiced rhubarb scallops are public enemy number one, as she is put up for elimination by her colleagues. Tiffany's tuna is deemed the favorite.

 

Back in the holding area (better known as the beer room), Angelo tells Kenny that he's in the bottom three, and Kenny wiggles in his chair rather hilariously.

 

The judges inform Tiffany and Kevin that their dishes are the favorites of the other chefs, as well as the judges themselves. Michelle Bernstein tells Tiffany that her dish was the most refreshing, but she declares Kevin the challenge winner, prompting a Situation-esque fist pump from Kevin.

 

Tamesha and Kenny are in the bottom two, and neither of them appears to be able to get their heads around the situation. Tom tells Tamesha that her scallop got lost in the mess of everything else she threw in there. Kenny tries to convince the judges that he's only in the bottom two because the other chefs are threatened by him, and Michelle Bernstein reminds him that this is her first time tasting the food this season - and that she wasn't into his dish...like at all. Now that's comedy!

 

Tamesha is going home, but because of whose doing? Tiffany reminds us that Angelo had a hand in her dish, questioning his motives and his trustworthiness.

 

Now there's something to ponder until next week...

 

 

Top Chef: DC airs Wednesdays at 10/9c on Bravo.

 

(Image courtesy of Bravo)

 

 

Follow Michael at twitter.com/mjlamp

 

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