by David McAlpine
 
Last week on The Bachelorette, things heated up and the pressure was on as the prospect of hometown dates loomed over the final five contestants' heads. Chris L. opened up at just the right time, while Ty and Frank were in a dead heat for "worst thing to reveal at the final 5." Between Ty's blatant sexism and Frank's home-living mentality, Ali chose Frank, leaving this season's divorcé out to dry.
 
So, Bachelorette fans, we've finally made it. We've weeded through 21 potential men and we're down to the final four: Chris, Frank, Kirk and Roberto. Now it's time for Ali to cut one more and, judging by the strangely-placed, mid-season finale spoiler, it's going to be a rough one. But enough with the speculation--on to the dates:
 
Roberto is up first as he and Ali jet off to Tampa, Florida. Roberto's first order of business was to take Ali to his first playing field and teach her how to bat. She even gets a jersey with his number on it! Then, she drops the "w" word. Yes, that's right, she compares herself to being Roberto's wife. Foreshadowing, perhaps? At least we know her mind is in a good place.
 
Next up is the first meeting with Roberto's dad, which Roberto says is make-or-break at this point. If his dad doesn't approve of her, he might be out the door. Luckily for Ali, he takes to her swimmingly and even shows off all of Roberto's trophies. Seriously, there must have been a hundred. Then comes the psuedostab at Ty: she wants to support Roberto, but she also wants to start her own business! Awash in ambition, that only makes Roberto's dad even more fond of her. ROberto solidfies it by telling his parents that he would propose if he had the chance.
 
Stop two is Cape Cod, Massachusetts, where Ali and Chris share a moment because they realize they've made it to the next step in their relationship. Cut to the picture perfect New England house where Ali meets Chris' dad and his brothers Mark and Eric (married and engaged, respectively--pressure, much?). Chris brings out his mom and starts telling Ali that she fills a bunch of holes that were left when she died. Cute, but possibly too soon? I sure would have ran...if Chris weren't so attractive.
 
At this point, I'm concerned because Chris is really the only viable candidate for the next season of The Bachelor. Could that mean that he'll be out of the running shortly? There really aren't any indications of that as he and Ali continue to pal around with his dad and brothers.
 
Finally, Ali gets taken aside by Chris' dad in possibly the most emotional scene I've seen in all 20 seasons of this show. Instead of grilling her, he's pushing her onto Chris because he sees that she's good for him. Insert the mom factor, and Chris even says that he's sad his mom got to see the future lives of his two brothers, but not him. How can she not pick this man, seriously? Rejecting Chris would mean this girl has no heart--just saying.
 
Stop number three: Madison, Wisconsin, for Kirk and his family. Apparently, this is the first time his dad is going to be spending an entire day with a girl he's been dating. Impending disaster? Perhaps. But wait, it gets better. Kirk's dad invites her into their basement where he has freezers full of animal parts. An, like only a dad can, he mentions over and over again how Kirk has had, well, a lack of a love life, leading Kirk to roll his eyes. I have to admit, I was smitten with Kirk, too. Then this? I wouldn't blame Ali for not wanting to get into this.
 
After that, Kirk and Ali pay a visit to the ladies in his family, who apparently love scrapbooking and gave him the idea to give Ali that one on the first night. We hear (again) that he doesn't bring too many girls home and (again) that he doesn't like to commit. Yeah, definitely not liking where this is going.
 
About 200 miles south, Ali finishes her round of hometown visits in the Chicagoland area. Yes, Frank used to live in Chicago, but now he lives in Geneva, which is far, far away from the city. (Not to nitpick, but being born and raised in the city, I just wanted to clarify that just because the two were at Navy Pier does not mean he lives in the city). At least Ali can find the upside in Frank: she says he's at the point in his life where he can do anything. Translation: He's really hit rock bottom so he can't do much worse. Point Ali.
 
As they travel down the Chicago River, all they can do is talk about where they stand as a couple. There's no real sharing, no intimate discussion, just analysis. Listen, guys, this is not a statistics class, this is The Bachelorette. We want love, not all this crap! We finally get the lovey-dovey when Ali arrives at Frank's parents house (oh, and his, too).
 
At the house, talk turns serious once again, but this time a good serious (at least, for the time being). Frank starts talking definitively about the future and how he thinks marriage is going to happen. With Ali. Unlike the Tahiti teasers we saw, you know...just saying. But back to this week, where Frank is full speed ahead for the ring.
 
Ali gets her 15 minutes of insecurity and decision-making since there's no Jake and Vienna to fill the gap, and then it's finally decision time. It's a heavy build-up (but looking back on it, not really) that culminates in Ali giving Kirk the boot. Let's recap: heavy Northern accent, frozen animal parts and parents that brag about his lack of girls? Good choice, Ali. Well, at least until next week.

See which bachelors become the final two next Monday at 8/7c, only on ABC's The Bachelorette!

(Photo courtesy of ABC)

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