by David McAlpine

Last week on Dancing With the Stars, it was movie night as the celebrities and the pros performed the dance of their choice to some of those hits that make us all remember someone on the big screen. Despite the judges giving out several lower scores, Kate Gosselin fell victim to the scoring system and gave a tearful farewell to the season.

Perhaps it was for the best, though, as tonight, stars had to face their coordination-related fears and perform either the Argentine tango or the samba. As much as I love Kate, that would have been painful to watch. Very, very painful. However, at the end of the night, the popular marathon dance returns as all of the stars hit the floor at once to try to "swing" some points their way…with the swing. Yes, I just made that pun. Anyway, here's a breakdown of how everyone did:

Celebrity: Jake Pavelka
Professional Partner: Chelsie Hightower
Dance: Samba
Breakdown: The evening is always never at its highest point if a show starts out with Jake Pavelka. It didn't work with The Bachelor and it really doesn't work now, either. Right away, Jake's rhythm issues are seriously coming into play, because the samba just doesn't work if you can't follow the music. No amount of good looks can save you now, pal! I didn't realize how evil my laugh was on the inside until I thought about it just now. And it actually came out a couple times during his performance, which was very jerky. In the end, I think the judges were way too soft on this guy, because his feet clearly were not moving the way they needed to.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7  Len: 7  Bruno: 7
Total: 21/30

Celebrity: Evan Lysacek
Professional Partner: Anna Trebunskaya
Dance: Samba
Breakdown: While Evan was practicing a backflip during practice, he suffered a head injury. That didn't slow him down, though, and he and Anna kept working on their samba, which seemed to be shaping up better than Jake's. Granted, Evan is not the most graceful person, either, and sex seems to escape all movement, especially when he's trying to shake his hips. It's more awkward than sexy. A lot more. But still, the judges give him his lowest score of the season--and an identical score to Jake. I know Evan is a little more experienced, but that's totally unfair.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7  Len: 7  Bruno: 7
Total: 21/30

Celebrity: Niecy Nash
Professional Partner: Louis Van Amstel
Dance: Argentine Tango
Breakdown: Finally, Niecy is back to dancing without a strange storyline and you can tell that she's getting into the tango because it's very intimate and sexual. She has a great team dynamic with Louie and I'm really looking forward to it as I'm watching the rehearsal reel. When they get out on the floor, Niecy is a little less adept at movement and Louis seems to be struggling at points to be giving her much back. I didn't think it was her weight, but Len seemed to think so, calling her an "enthusiastic eater." Maybe if Len had a heart, he'd eat, too.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7  Len: 7  Bruno: 7
Total: 21/30

Celebrity: Erin Andrews
Professional Partner: Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Dance: Samba
Breakdown: Erin has been at this for weeks now, and I'm honestly shocked she hasn't gotten better. Normally, Maksim is notorious for whipping his women stars into shape (if they last long on the show), but Erin hasn't seemed to have been growing. Instead, she's just being lanky and weird week after week on the dance floor. Tonight, she was significantly more sexy, but her overuse of props got the wrath of Len, who said she needs to be focusing much more on her dancing. I have to agree with him to a point, but it's clear her dancing has improved.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 9  Len: 7  Bruno: 9
Total: 25/30

Celebrity: Chad Ochocinco
Professional Partner: Cheryl Burke
Dance: Argentine Tango
Breakdown: If you're an Ochocinco fan, it's understandable to be worried because of how much control the man is supposed to have in this dance. But there were no worries tonight, because Chad took hold of Cheryl and didn't let go. You can really see a change in how he acts on the dance floor, as well as his demeanor. He clearly likes it more and he's enjoying dancing with Cheryl, which I think has changed his outlook on things. He was much cleaner and had better feet, getting a good response from the judges.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8 Len: 8  Bruno: 8
Total: 24/30

Celebrity: Nicole Scherzinger
Professional Partner: Derek Hough
Dance: Samba
Breakdown: Did anyone think Nicole and Derek wouldn't pick the samba? Really? And is anyone surprised that they knocked it out of the park? Anyone? Didn't think so. At this point, there's really not much to say about Nicole except the small nitpicks that the judges make about each week's dance. She still received one 10, got the top score of the night and kept her reputation as the favorite to win.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 9  Len: 7  Bruno: 10
Total: 26/30

Celebrity: Pamela Anderson
Professional Partner: Damian Whitewood
Dance: Samba
Breakdown: Theoretically, Pam and Damian were in the "bottom two" last week, but with all the shifty things have been going on with the counting, we really can't be sure anymore if that's the "bottom two" or not. Regardless, Pam knows she needs to step it up because her sex kitten status can't carry her forever, especially now that all the arguable "dead weight" is gone. Her tango is a little lackluster but her extra oomph in acting (and, ahem, posture) gave her the boost up she needed so she avoided last place.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7  Len: 7  Bruno: 8
Total: 22/30

After each star had their own shot on the dance floor, they heated up the stage together in a swing marathon. Every few seconds or so, the judges would eliminate a pair of contestants until only one remained. The last couple standing received 10 points, while the first couple out only got four. Thus, their total judges' scores for the week would be their individual score plus their marathon score. The elimination order was:

Jake & Chelsie (4 points) = 25 points
Niecy & Louis (5 points) = 26 points
Evan & Anna (6 points) = 27 points
Chad & Cheryl (7 points) = 31 points
Pamela & Damian (8 points) = 30 points
Erin & Maksim (9 points) = 34 points
Nicole & Derek (10 points) = 36 points

Again, it was no surprise that Nicole and Derek took home the top spot, but Erin and Maksim were right there with them the whole time. Could be a female showdown at the end of the season?

Tune in tomorrow to Dancing with the Stars' results show at 8/7c on ABC to see which celebrity is the next casualty!

(Photo courtesy of ABC)

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