by David McAlpine

Last week on Dancing With the Stars, the stars took to the floor for a second time and, to much avail, the bad were just as bad but the good only got better. Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger scored the first 10s of the season with her jive, while Astronaut Buzz Aldrin continued to move slower than a man on the moon. However, in a shocking elimination, "Beverly Hills 90210" Star Shannen Doherty was sent packing.

And boy, did they not let us hear the end of that last night. Every time the opportunity arose to encourage viewers to vote, Shannen was brought up. If I were her, I would be pissed, because it's like rubbing salt in a very open wound. But Dancing With the Stars was the most watched show in America last week, so does it really matter? Of course not! Just like it doesn't matter that the dancing quality overall seemed to slip this week (despite many scores going up)--ratings are better than ever!

This week, it was "storytelling week," or "Len doesn't get to gripe about gimmicks week." Each story could be told through a waltz, quickstep or paso doble. Onto the dances:

Celebrity: Evan Lysacek
Professional Partner: Anna Trebunskaya
Dance: Quickstep
Breakdown: Evan seems super focused on getting out of second place, and Anna is willing to do whatever it takes. In rehearsal, it looks a little shaky because he seems to be having trouble holding the quickstep posture and he's literally throwing Anna everywhere. On the dance floor, however, things are different--possibly because they're in character? He looks really solid, though still a little strange, but I think I'm slowly getting over his lankiness, too. The judges loved it, too, though Len had to be a stickler about footwork.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 9  Len: 8  Bruno: 9
Total: 26/30

Celebrity: Buzz Aldrin
Professional Partner: Ashly Costa
Dance: Waltz
Breakdown: Buzz, Buzz, Buzz. At this point, it's really the same dance over and over for him, just with different music and costumes. You can tell Ashly is trying to be really optimistic and show that she doesn't care, but let's be honest. Ashly got shafted after agreeing to come back from a long hiatus and now she's trying to be very gracious, so props to her. Just like last week, it was Buzz walking her around the dance floor and the judges let him have it.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 5  Len: 4  Bruno: 4
Total: 13/30

Celebrity: Jake Pavelka
Professional Partner: Chelsie Hightower
Dance: Quickstep
Breakdown: Like I've said before, I'm not a fan of Jake. But I really don't think it was my prejudice when I saw how awful he was tonight--both as a person and a dancer. Chelsie is clearly trying her best to teach him but all he can do is zone her out; talk about an ego! I figured that "Bachelor" bit was fake. Anyway, I have to admit he didn't look as bad when he did it live, but he still looked nervous and you could for sure see Chelsie counting out loud to him. He still seems to lack any type of grace, but the judges thought he did a decent job with what he has to work with.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7  Len: 7  Bruno: 7
Total: 21/30

Celebrity: Niecy Nash
Professional Partner: Louis Van Amstel
Dance: Waltz
Breakdown: Contrary to Jake, I don't think I could root for anyone more than I'm rooting for Niecy. She's full of spunk, ready to learn and I think she really has the potential to do really well. This week, though, they choose a really touchy (although touching) subject: the right to love someone. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not against it, I'm just saying it might not be the thing to do right now when they need votes. Sure, it was nice, though the story was really lacking because there were no props, but it was a solid dance overall.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7  Len: 7  Bruno: 7
Total: 21/30

Celebrity: Chad Ochocinco
Professional Partner: Cheryl Burke
Dance: Paso Doble
Breakdown: Finally, Cheryl gives Chad something he can relate to: the fact that, no matter how hard he tries, he can't get her. She plans this whole paso doble ingeniously, making him want her more and more with every step. And want her he does! She looks incredibly sexy and you can practically see the eyes falling out of his head. Granted, it's still not great, but it's a huge improvement, which the judges all take note of.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7  Len: 6  Bruno: 7
Total: 20/30

Celebrity: Pamela Anderson
Professional Partner: Damian Whitewood
Dance: Paso Doble
Breakdown: Even though the Paso Doble is the dance of the bullfighter, Pam, the animal rights activist, is not a fan of bullfighting, so she wants to use the dance to channel her rage against those who hurt animals. In rehearsal it looks like she's really getting the hang of it, so when she hits the dance floor, I'm almost expecting a spectacular dance. However, her anger throws her off at the very beginning and she stumbles a couple more times, something the judges pointed out, too.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7  Len: 7  Bruno: 7
Total: 21/30

Celebrity: Aiden Turner
Professional Partner: Edyta Sliwinska
Dance: Quickstep
Breakdown: Poor Aiden, all he does is try and try and try. You can tell in his face that he wants to do so well, but his body just won't let him. Just like Pam, he looks fine in rehearsal, almost to the point where I think he's going to blow the judges away. Then he comes out and skips through the quickstep (literally), still showing less grace than an alcoholic. The judges, however, did see the immense improvement and awarded him for that.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7  Len: 6  Bruno: 7
Total: 20/30

Celebrity: Erin Andrews
Professional Partner: Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Dance: Waltz
Breakdown: I aways pegged Erin as the celebrity that was going to do whatever it too to win this season, partially because she has Maxs as her partner, but partially because she seems to know what's actually worth giving a shot and whatever exactly seems lame. For instance, tonight's dance with the blindfold? Even though I'm sure my HD tvshowed me eyeslits, it was fantastic, and it gave us a fantastic illusion.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8  Len: 7  Bruno: 8
Total: 23/30

Celebrity: Kate Gosselin
Professional Partner: Tony Dovolani
Dance: Paso Doble
Breakdown: At this point, these two are like a traffic accident--you're just kind of waiting for them to end. The practice is always heated and definitely shows how much Kate is not a performer. Now, I'm not trying to bash her, I give her the utmost credit for going on this show because I'm sure it's very hard. But when your dance stops improving from week to week, it's only week 3 and Len all but completely dismisses you off the dance floor, you know you're in bad, bad shape.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 5  Len: 5  Bruno: 5
Total: 15/30

Celebrity: Nicole Scherzinger
Professional Partner: Derek Hough
Dance: Quickstep
Breakdown: I feel like I should preface this with the fact that I love Derek Hough. I think he's an amazing dancer, a very talented choreographer and he just gets it. He knows what's going on, he knows how to make his stars look good. Dancing with Nicole is no exception, as we saw last week. So when Nicole was getting frustrated about not knowing the dance this week, I figured it was kind of BS, because if she can't learn her dance, they're all screwed. Unfortunately, the dance wasn't anything special, nor was it really  ballroom dance. The judges call Nicole and Derek out big on the fact that it wasn't a real quickstep, though Carrie Ann and Bruno were able to put that aside.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8  Len: 6  Bruno: 9
Total: 23/30

Tune in tomorrow to Dancing with the Stars' first results show at 8/7c on ABC to see which celebrity is the next casulty!

(Photo courtesy of ABC)

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