by Sam McMillen
The Amazing Race 15

 

Valentine's Day. A day revered by couples as a celebration of love. A day for adorning chubby babies in Cupid's traditional vestments. A day for romance, heart shaped chocolates, roses, butterfly kisses next to a cozy fire, and everyone's favorite V-Day pastime... riding down a Chilean funicular after performing a high ropes challenge. Alright, so maybe that last one can only be shared by the cast of The Amazing Race 16. That's right, our favorite seven time Primetime Emmy Award winning Reality TV show is back! OK, so it's the only seven time Primetime Emmy Award winning reality show out there, but who's counting? After wiping the "I wish that was me out there again" tears from my eyes, I was able to soak in the diversity of the cast, the excitement of new cultural spaces, and the thrills of competition under unimaginable (one million bucks anybody?) amounts of stress - all the things we've come to love about TAR.

 

As a Race alumnus, watching the first two episodes of Season 16 was much different than any previous season. Hopefully I'll be able to give an insider scoop on what really goes on in a racer's mind, why things happen the way they do and which themes seem to play that inevitable game of peek-a-boo along the race course. Let's start with some notable highlights from Episodes 1 & 2.

 

 

THE STARTING LINE SURPRISE!!!
To this day, Dan and I still claim that our starting line surprise was the most nerve racking, terrifying part of the entire race... including our poker chip counting disaster. The thought that we may not even get to jump on a plane was enough to make us pee a little. Season 16 must have given a HUGE sigh of relief when Phil announced that their preliminary twist (involving no immediate elimination) was to get to the airport via public transportation. I must admit, I kind of snickered at the challenge (no peeing this time), but the twist definitely still served its purpose. Starting line surprises show us racers two main things: a) don't get comfortable, that consistency we see on TV is a total myth and b) YOU'RE NOT AS GOOD AT THIS AS YOU THINK YOU ARE! You're out of breath, confused and completely frantic, and this is only the first clue. One of the toughest parts about the Race is travel logistics and navigation. Luckily, this season was able to pick up on that before the first plane ride.

 

THE MEET-AND-GREET
I absolutely LOVE this part of the premiere. I still remember getting to the ticket counter and finally extending my hand to the teams I'd been sizing up since just before the starting line. "It's so nice to meet you!" Translation: I could destroy you in a foot race. "So, how do you two know each other" Translation: I'm still trying to figure out a way to stereotype you in a two word team name that will stick to you like glue from now on. "What an interesting relationship you two have!" Translation: Once I win my million, I'm deleting you from my Facebook. The meet-and-greet is a super important part of the race in a first timer's mind. You try your best to make individual connections with each team, narrate what's going through your mind so far, lead them to believe you're in no way a threat, and play the "I'm too nice to be U-turned" card. Jordan (of Dan and Jordan) makes a nice connection with Carol and Brandy in his (I must admit, quite uncanny) impersonation of Caite's infamous Miss Teen USA response. They have a good laugh, there's a little hand touching, and boom... BFFs (at least for now). Another moment is when the three teams who managed to snag a spot on the first flight had to transfer to the later one due to mechanical problems. When they arrive to the gate, Brandy yells, "There is that mechanical failure I was praying for!" Dana busts out laughing to save face (well done), but you know she's secretly thinking "I'm SOOO stealing your cab when I get the chance". Whether or not the meet-and-greet has an impact down the road, it's still a tradition that every racer must suffer through... you know, for the kids.

 

WAIT... THIS ISN'T EASY?
The Race has a funny way of smacking you in the face and making you want to crawl into a hole of self-pity. For Dan and me, it was going to the American Airlines terminal after the license plate challenge... even though we were holding United Airlines tickets. We got confused, Marcy had to explain it to us, and suddenly the orange team was looking quite blue. For some it's the starting line challenge. Unfortunately for Michael and Louie (partners in anti-crime), it was running to the metro with Jody and Shannon (grandma/granddaughter). Falling behind, Michael says to Louie, "C'mon. Nanna's kickin your butt!" Immediately, Louie blames it on backpack size. When you're sprinting across the streets of LA with an awkward backpack flopping around your back, you realize there's really NO WAY to physically prepare for what you're about to take part in. That mile-a-day work out you started two weeks before you left ? Yeah, it didn't do jack. Just ask my brother, I was planning on having a six pack when the race started. God knows that didn't happen. A few other teams have the "holy crap, this is a lot harder than it looks" moment when they arrive to the airport only to find out they're not the first group. You can see the shock on Joe's face when the ticket guy tells him the first flight is full. Wait, we already got beat at something? Uh oh. Reality check! You won't always win. When you think you're winning, you're probably behind. And on rare occasions, when you think you're out, you pass another team that's in worse shape than you are.

 

THE "BOOONNNGGG" AWARD
Every week, I'm going to pick my favorite moment that earns the infamous gong sound effect loved so dearly by the TAR sound editors. From now on, hencetoforththereafter, I shall refer to it as The BOOONNNGG Award. This week's award goes to father/daughter team Steve and Allie. These two make up the most likeable team on the season, combining Steve's integrity and Allie's sweet demeanor. I knew I'd love them the moment just before Allie takes on the high ropes challenge in Valparaiso, when Steve gets choked up just mentioning the courage possessed by his daughter. I mean come on, it's beautiful. The Route Marker task is to finish painting a small area of the house that fits your paint color. Steve and Allie wander into a house undergoing renovation, only to find a half finished wall (on the inside of the house) that matches their assigned paint color. They get so excited about their lucky find, and gleefully plaster on a thick coat of red paint. After "finishing the task", Allie asks a confused (and somewhat irritated) construction worker for their next clue. When he looks at her like the crazy American she's being, the team finally figures out their mistake. I'm someone who always appreciates a good coincidence, so the fact that there happened to be a house in the area of the task with a half finished wall of red paint just waiting for their artistic addition made it an easy choice for The BOONNGG Award. You just can't write this stuff.

 

A GENTLE SLAP ON THE WRIST
If our season had had a theme song, it would have been titled "Read Your Clue". Well, to quote the exact saying I would need to add another word between Your and Clue, but we'll keep it clean. This advice is ingrained in every Racer's mind from the get-go. Nonetheless, the easiest thing to do on the Race is overlook a minor detail, sometimes resulting in a major bummer. For Brent and Caite, they're smooth first leg was pooped on by a simple mistake in reading the clue. After the high-ropes challenge, teams were instructed to go down the hill via funicular and search for their next clue. When Brent and Caite failed to do so, Phil had a nice little 30 minute penalty waiting for them at the pit stop. What a sad way to meet Phil. Fortunately, the only harm done by the penalty was that Brent and Caite had to hear the Chilean three-man-band song six times within a 30 minute time span. Tambourine and all. Yikes.

 

THREE'S COMPANY
Season 16 is graced by... deep breath... three openly gay cast members. As a fellow gay racer, I have to give a little shout out to my brothers and sisters in gayhood. I'm really glad Carol and Brandy are a part of the cast. GLBT representation in the media is something I'm very passionate about, and I always get really excited when GLBT stereotypes are broken on Primetime television. These ladies are self proclaimed princesses (princessi?), and I loved the Louis Vuitton comment in their introduction. The third gay racer is Jordan, who is teamed up with his straight brother. After the premiere of Season 15, Dan and I got tons of messages from people who were jealous of our relationship because their sibling relationships fizzled after coming out. Most fans even told me their siblings are less accepting of their sexuality than their parents. For this reason, I think it's great that Season16 boasts a gay/straight brother relationship that is happy, healthy and open. Dan clearly supports his gay brother, and I think there are a lot of people out there with gay siblings who can learn from his example. TAR has always done a good job with placing GLBT individuals in the Primetime spotlight, which is why Season 15 marks its fourth nomination for a GLAAD Media Award. This is definitely one reason why I'm proud to have been a part of this show. Alright, my big gay soap box is over... and no, I didn't just curtsy.

 

TRAVEL LOGISTICS/NAVIGATION
Like I said earlier, travel logistics and navigation are probably the toughest part of the race. Whether you're searching for union station right after Phil says "go", or attempting to figure out the quickest bus route from Vancouver to The Iraq. Trust me, I almost got lost on the way down Mandalay Bay. The tricky part is figuring it out without other teams realizing that you've figured it out. When teams are all waiting for departure, you can't so much as go to the bathroom without another team thinking you're sneaking off to catch a secret flight or a red-eye bus. It's the epitome of awkwardness... "So, which flight are you guys on? Ummm... I don't remember the exact time, what about you guys? Yeah, I'm not really sure either." Riiiiight. You could cut the awkward tension with a knife. Jet and Cord impressed me a lot when they picked up on Jordan/Jeff and Brent/Caite's bus terminal change, a small detail that caused the latter two teams to miss the last two buses leaving from Temuco that night. It's not easy to keep that stuff a secret , so my hat is off to the cowboys (pun intended). On the other hand Michael and Louie made quite the navigational faux pas by passing the roadblock site in Episode 2. Luckily, it wasn't enough to knock them out of the Race. As far as travel logistics go? Brazilian money. Enough said.

 

I'M SORRY... WE HAVE TO DO WHAT?
For the majority of The Race, everyone is exhausted, sore, hungry and annoyed with their teammate for some reason (being within 20 feet of each other for a month will have that effect on you). Right when you're about to snap, a challenge comes along just in time to remind you that life is a friggin blast. Some of these challenges really stuck out to me on our race: playing farmer's golf in long-johns, herding ducks through a challenge course in Cai Be, participating in a Japanese game show and watching my brother hobble across a small log wearing a monkey costume in Cambodia, just to name a few. Each time we read a clue trying to explain the ridiculousness that would procede, Dan and I would just look at each other and laugh a little bit. One of the Detour choices in Episode 2 involved running off a dock while holding onto a hang glider thingy that looks like a chicken (...and don't forget the matching chicken foot shoes). I'm guessing each team had a similar "wait... you can't be serious" moment after reading the instructions for the challenge. I was so glad some of the teams chose this side of the detour because they will forever be able to say "I jumped off a dock into freezing cold water in Chile, wearing a chicken costume, connected to a chicken shaped hang glider". That's one to tell the grandkids. There's really something special about being able to look over at your brother, smile, and say, "Dude, we're dragging a Gollum through the cobblestone streets of Prague". Priceless. Above the money, above the excitement of being on TV, above being recognized by complete strangers on the street... these are the things that I treasure. Hopefully we'll have a lot more this-must-be-a-joke challenges this season!

 

PHILIMINATIONS
Sadly, we've had to say goodbye to two teams so far. Dana and Adrian, high school sweethearts, couldn't get past the high ropes challenge in Episode one. Definitely not an easy challenge and I was glad to see Adrian give it another shot after his first unsuccessful attempt. That first elimination really is heartbreaking, especially when Phil had to go to the site of the Roadblock to deliver the bad news. In the second episode, Jody and Shannon get the boot. I have to say, I'm not surprised but I'm definitely sad. I love that Jody has found a new appreciation for fitness and life experiences, and I only wish she could have raced a little longer to celebrate her new found physical prowess. I just hope she "enjoyed the dickens" out of the Race. My hat is off to both of these teams; sometimes the race just sweeps your feet out from under you, regardless of how good you may have been at it. I'm just glad no one was eliminated because they didn't know how many eggs are in a baker's dozen.

 

Predictions and thoughts on the cast? It's definitely too early to make any conclusions but I have a few thoughts brewing. I think Dan and Jordan are going to be a lot of fun to watch and I think they'll do really well. Perhaps I'm biased (for obvious reasons), but I actually see them going pretty far. They have no communication issues and they seem like between the two of them, they cover all the basics. I think Caite is going to surprise everyone and redeem some respect lost after the YouTube disaster. She and Brent seem very practical, focused and well rounded - all characteristics that create a promising future in The Race. Not to mention she's a knock-out, which is ALWAYS helpful when asking for help from the locals. Shawne and Monique are a blast to watch and I really hope they do well, but I don't see them making it past the halfway mark. Hopefully they'll prove me wrong, these ladies are great. While Jordan and Jeff (Big Brother 11 roommates and newly dating) won the first leg, I don't think they'll make it too much farther. It seems like they have a pretty laid back, jovial approach to The Race having already done a reality show. I definitely see this catching up to them within the next few weeks. Alright, I'm at Starbucks and these little high school teeny boppers have been eyeing my table for the past 20 minutes, so I'm outta here. Until next week!

 

The Amazing Race airs Sundays at 8/7c on CBS.

 

(Image courtesy of CBS)

 

Follow Sam at twitter.com/sammcmillen

 

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