by David McAlpine



Last week on The Bachelorette, Jillian and the guys boarded the Rocky Mountain Express for a train ride across Canada. Tension mounted as the remaining men competed for a rose, earning them a coveted hometown date. Robby was left by the tracks, while Tanner and Jake were given the axe at the rose ceremony, leaving just five guys.

This week, Jillian takes off on a whirlwind cross-country trip to visit each of the remaining contestants and their families in the places where they grew up. The first stop is Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where she meets up with Reid in a park. Cue her unusually high squeal, then a nervous confessional. She has reason to be nervous, because Reid says if anyone in his family disapproved, he wouldn't continue to date her. Harsh, talk about control issues.

But as soon as they walk in the door, it's clear that Reid's family are fans of Jillian. Reid's mom, Rhonda, isn't too subtle that Reid is 30 and she thinks he should be married by now. Reid's commitment issues come out in full force, and Reid sounds even less enthusiastic under the grilling of his family. All of a sudden, more family and a cake round the corner and it's Reid's kind-of-late surprise 30th birthday party! Jillian nearly takes his face off, much to the surprise of his family, but Reid seems ok with it (also to the snippy dismay of some). Family approval rating? I say a 6 or 7 out of 10; not too cold, but definitely lukewarm.

Next it's off to Valencia, California, Michael's hometown. Jillian knocks at the door and Michael opens it, then bounces back 10 feet because he's so excited to see her (overdoing it much?). More jumping, some unpleasant squealing and several introductions later, Jillian is sitting and chatting with Michael's parents and his twin brother, Steve. Michael and Steve go upstairs and decide to try and do the whole "twin switch" on Jillian, which wouldn't work on anyone with a working set of eyes. Jillian proves smarter than she sounds and quashes their plan, then goes out on the patio to talk to Steve. Steve tells her how he and Michael planned to get married young and always wanted time to grow older with their wives. And this is coming out of the mouth of a 25 year-old? Something seems fishy to me.

Although the family is adorable together (they even have a mini dance party), it's becoming increasingly evident why Michael is the way he is...and why Jillian just doesn't fit with the family. Regardless, they have a nice dinner and are surprised by Michael's older sister, who apparently flew home from Australia to meet Jillian. And end date. Compatibility: 5 out of 10; Jillian would have to try really hard to make this one work more than as "just friends."

Jillian's next stop is San Diego for some steamy loving with Kiptyn. She meets him on a sprawling beachfront estate that just screams money and they watch the waves roll in. Finally it starts to worry Jillian that she's not good enough for Kiptyn, so she gets increasingly nervous to meet her mom. Judging by the way they put caution tape around their hot tub (which, but the way, looks bigger than most of the hot tubs on the show so far), you know, in reference to Jillian macking on Jason in the hot tub last season, she has something to worry about.

In a show of "good hosting," Jillian is put to the test to see if she can identify which of two pieces of lasagna and which of two glasses of wine is "the best." Luckily, Jillian gets it right, and Kiptyn's mom seems to think she's not total trash. A little part of me wishes she would have gotten it wrong just to see how his mom would have reacted. Just a little bit.

As dinner progresses, Kiptyn's mom throws some pretty tough questions at Jillian and almost pummels her into the ground with her subtle, but not too subtle, "holier-than-thou" attitude. Of course, she says that Kiptyn has a spark around Jillian, so it seems like she's conceded at least a little bit. Compatibility: 5. Even I felt that Jillian would ever be good enough for this family.

Jillian then takes a trip north to Carmel to visit Jesse and his family at their winery (which you think would be the perfect place for her). Jesse also seems to have commitment issues (since all he can say is that he'll "try...to make [it] work"), but Jillian and Jesse have a good time, anyway. Judging by how short the date was, it seems like nothing special happened, so I'll also put this compatibility at a 5. Wow, not looking so hot for Jillian. Maybe she should have stayed north of the border? Or perhaps she should have stuck with Jake.

For the final date, Jillian arrives in Austin, Texas, where Wes anxiously awaits her. Wes says he has two families for her to meet: his actual family and (surprise!)...his band! Thus the publicity stunt rolls on as he gives her a private show, including the all too familiar "Love Don't Come Easy" verse. And the worst part about it? She's eating it ALL up. The look on her face tells us that she doesn't think anything is wrong. Not one thing.

But a dark cloud looms for the two lovebirds as Jake gets off a plane in full pilot gear, ready to expose Jake for the fraud that he is. Jake apparently calls fellow castoff Tanner P to make sure what he's doing is right, then he confirms to the camera that Wes and he talked on three separate occasions about Wes' girlfriend, Laurel. Why this never came up before is a mystery to me, but hey, it makes for an interesting date.

While waiting for Wes, Jillian hears a knock at the door. She opens it up, and it's Jake, who she doesn't seem that surprised to see. From her confessional. it's almost like she expected him to come groveling to her, asking for her back. Instead he breaks his news to her and she doesn't take it very well. In her own "eyes on me" moment, she proclaims that she doesn't "deserve all this bullsh**" and seems really angry.

Yet all this anger seems to dissipate and, even worse, melt into a giant love puddle when Wes comes around. She confronts him about it and Wes gives her the exact same story Jake tells her. So what does she do? She calls Jake, who just happens to be saying in the same hotel. He comes running over, and a confrontation ensues. For the "most dramatic hometown date in Bachelorette history," the confrontation fizzles and Jillian leads Jake out in a pathetic walk of shame. Jake cries in the hallway while Jillian goes back to cooing over Wes. Maybe she does deserve what she's getting?

Jillian talks very openly about the conflict with Wes at dinner with his family, and they're all quick to put out any doubt in her mind. So, just because his family said so, Jillian walks away relieved and glad that Wes really isn't the bad boy he was being made out to be.

Just when we thought the Bachelorette drama (B-rama, if you wish) was over, *gasp* Ed knocks at the door! ABC couldn't fill two hours with the contestants' boring families, so they bring back a sixth guy, and Jillian is flabbergasted. At least, until she smiles and agrees to let Ed come back to the rose ceremony.

Pre-rose ceremony, Jillian seems to be completely unsure about what she's going to do. Just like she wants, I think America doesn't deserve this bullsh**, either. Jillian has been hooked on Kiptyn-ite since day one, and Reid has grown on her tremendously, so we have two of the four roses. The glint in her eye and the relief she seemed to breath when she saw Ed ("Maybe a family I can finally fit in with!" her mind screamed) seems to hint that he'll be rose #3, leaving us with Wes, Michael and Jesse. Could it be that Wes meets his demise tonight? I'd be willing to bet yes, and that Michael will be getting the 4th rose.

So the roses start getting handed out: first Reid, then Kiptyn, then Ed. Three for three! Last rose...goes to Wes. And yet again, Jillian seems to mystify the viewing public as she turns down two great (albeit very young) guys. Jesse was apparently willing to bet he'd get a rose tonight (sidenote: don't go with Jesse to Vegas), and Michael is the utmost of classy by insisting that he'll remain friends with Jillian.

Tune in to see if Jillian continues to make poor decisions on The Bachelorette, Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.

(Image courtesy of ABC)

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