By Jackie Helm

Tila Tequila is back on track and looking for love again after a failed connection with season 1 winner Bobby.  A much more attractive and diverse group of guys and gals are in it to win it!  Tila dished a challenge immediately upon the contestant’s arrival.  Each sex went into a huge cage and the gender that “turned her on” the most, were invited inside first.  Each group got buck wild.  Samantha (a “dancer”) bared her breast and Nick got buck naked!

Naturally the women omitted the most sex appeal and followed Tila inside.  T.T bounced from girl to girl attempting quick get-to-know-you sessions.  She was impressed with most and even locked lips with a couple lucky ladies.

Self named “Fame” worried Tila about her true intentions of being there.  Michelle held the award for the strongest accent (from Boston).  Lili ruined the mood as she grilled Tila about whether or not she still had feelings for Bobby.  Even worse, this same Lili wound up making out with a blonde butch Serenity, which was discovered by Tila.

The final determiner of who moves in the crib consisted of a talent show.  The girls’ acts ranged from gymnastics, cheer leaders, break dancing, magic tricks and even a gorilla suit.

The first elimination round got rid of 6 chics.  Tila angrily addressed the horn dogs first.  She told the maker-outers Serenity and Lili to give her the key and get the f*ck out of her house!  Ha!

In addition to those two, she wasn’t feelin Tarra, Rada or Janny.  Tashi got sent home for being a stalker (who admitted to downloading pictures of Tila, etc.)

Testosterone time.  Still caged in the cold, the men were finally able to come inside.  While the others were pouring drinks, Kyle from Hawaii moved Tila to the kitchen and cooked up a kiss.

Twin brothers Greg and Dominic escorted T.T. to the couch for one-on-two time.  She quickly became overwhelmed as they pulled her back and forth spitting game on who was the better brother.  Tila excused herself and continued her rounds with the other boys.  Chad claims he’s “stocked” with “wang bone”.  Jeremy, who sports a pink Mohawk got totally crunk.  After kissing him, Tila made Bo shave his soul patch on the spot.  A meek Mason gave Tila a flower which she later placed in Jays butt crack.

Jay (New Jersey) and Bo (Ohio) kicked off the first fight of the season as they stood toe-to-toe daring the other to throw the first punch.  Unfortunately for us boxing fans, the stand off died off.




The men put on a fashion show which contained devils, football players, pirates and fisherman.  A very cute Chris strutted as a cop.  But it ticked Tila off when he tried to bend her over.  This doggy style action later got him the boot.  Anatomy proud Nick pulled the SNL skit, “D$@* in a box” which made Tila scream in disgust as she opened up the “package”.  Drunken Jeremy was Dracula and later could barely focus during elimination, hence he was dismissed.  She also sent home Matt, Mason and Greg (one of the twins).




The recap/interview session called “The Hangover” followed the show.  Host Ryan Stout first interviewed Lily and Serenity.  The girls saw their kiss as no harm done and proceeded to kiss again.  Later Jeremy and Nick were guests.  Jeremy was grilled on his odd tactics of touching and tickling people accompanied with sound affects.  The entire time he made the constant motions of someone dealing with the aftermath of acid.  Finally Nick admitted remorse donning his bare dong over and over again.

Check back next week as the crowd of Tila worshipers has dwindled from 30 to 18 and they move in the house…and into one big bed!

Photos courtesy of mtv.com
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