by Kylene Hamulak

 

On Dance Moms, pyramid is always less painful after a big win, and few wins are bigger than beating Cathy's Candy Apples.

 

Asia's on the bottom of the pyramid because she just wasn't there for the victory, but don't worry - she's back now, after spending some time being famous in LA. She's joined by Nia (who was there, but might as well not have been apparently), Kendall (who did fine in the competition, but not good enough in rehearsal), and Paige. Mackenzie made it to the second row this week, with Chloe and Maddie up there with her. And on top of the pyramid? Brooke, who, despite her terrific performance with the senior company, is back with the little kids.

 

The group routine for this week is entitled "Living with the Ribbon," which is a tribute to breast cancer awareness and is obviously going to be an opportunity for Abby to be awkward and preachy. Sure enough, Melissa is teary eyed already - her mother died of cancer. "Cancer just sucks," Melissa states. She's right.

 

Instead of doing the intricate choreography of the group routine, Asia and Mackenzie are each given a solo. Asia's "Too Hot to Handle", while Mackenzie's is "Old West." Maddie's solo is "Be Anything," and Chloe has a solo too - "You Can." Hey...wait a minute...something smells tricky here....

 

In the first rehearsals for the group routine, we learn some interesting things. First, Abby and Kelly also have experience with cancer, so it's a personal routine for them too. Second, Abby is using a long elastic ribbon wrapped and tangled up around Brooke to symbolize the cancer that wraps itself inside, and the rehearsal looks very neat.

 

Meanwhile, the Moms are in the gallery with Kristie catching up on what she missed. Now, mind you, Abby has already warned them all that if they start getting distracting again, she will dismiss both the offending Mom and her kid from the studio, so Jill has to be careful while she explains to Kristie why Christi isn't sitting in her usual spot. Way to stir up trouble, Kristie. And by trouble? I mean Jill.

 

Remember before when I said something smelled tricky with Maddie and Chloe's solos? Yep, I was right. Abby is trying something different with them, and by different? I mean the same. Like...exactly the same. Both girls will get the same choreography, which Abby hopes will finally quiet Christi from complaining about Maddie's routines.

 

So while that is going on, the Moms jumped in their time machines to relive middle school, with Jill sneaking off with Christi to talk about Kelly, and Kelly doing the same up in the peanut gallery. Blah blah things have changed, she's not a good friend, I don't want to continue this blah blah...whatever.

 

Let's just ignore that and go back to the smart ones on the show, shall we? In the den, Maddie and Chloe have discovered that they're doing the same dance, which would be confusing for anyone. Is Abby going senile? Nope. Christi correctly identifies this as a lesson for HER to learn, but she's still whining about it. She believes it was choreographed to play to Maddie's strengths, not Chloe's. *sigh* It's always something, isn't it.

 

Christi is nothing if not paranoid, right? Well, to prove that Melissa is stacking the deck with her talented kid, Christi, with her sidekick Columbo Jill, arrive at ALDC "incognito" (which means dressed in black and wearing sunglasses, so apparently I'm "incognito" at least three times a week) to get video proof that Maddie is getting extra private lessons.

 

"I am so sick of Melissa sitting upstairs and lying to us every week. 'Oh, my kids didn't learn their solos, they just happened to know by osmosis which move comes next.' Noooo! They happen to know which move comes next because they already learned their dance!" says an exasperated Christi.

 

Christi smartly sends Jill in to get the video proof, then the two of them run through the parking lot back to the car like they just robbed a bank.

 

Back in ACTUAL rehearsal, Chloe and Maddie are practicing their routine, but neither is allowed to watch the other while she does it. So that's interesting. Abby thinks the competition has been good for them, as they're dancing really well. The pink elastic for the group routine isn't ready yet, so Abby orders her "two favorite dance moms" to get it finished - Kelly and Christi.

 

*gulp*

 

"I think it's great that Christi and Kelly were picked to go down because I think maybe that will kinda break the ice," declares Kristie. It's really great to have her keep weighing in on things considering NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK, KRISTIE!

 

Meanwhile, the ice is sort of a deep freeze now.

 

As the girls try on their costumes for the group routine, Abby takes an impromptu poll of how many of them have lost someone to cancer. In a moment that is all too serious for Dance Moms, I believe an arm went up for every dancer and almost every Mom. And then it got worse.

 

"How many of you think you can lift your dad?" Abby asks them. Everyone is crying now, including Abby. "I did that. I had to do that."

 

Did I mention there were tears? Yeah, Asia's crying. Abby wants to know why. It's cause of her dad. "My dad...his dog Diablo died. It was just so hard for him."

 

So if you're taking notes in the ice breaking contest, that would be a point to Asia. Kelly and Christi? Still tied at zero.

 

Day of competition, everyone is prepping in the green room. Mackenzie is rehearsing her number, which prompts Kristie to wonder, "Can you be cute all your life? I don't think so." Ah, well Kristie, I've been doing it for a few decades now, so I beg to differ.

 

Cue Asia, who is dressed like a dancer from Mulan Rouge.

 

Mackenzie's cute solo is first up, and it is, as Kristie noted, cute. Her energy is high, and Melissa predicts it'll be a tough act to follow. Asia does, indeed, follow with a "too hot" routine that is not cute. There's a lot of sass and Kristie thinks it's one of her best performances ever. You know who's not impressed? Abby. She really liked her dancing, but she didn't so much appreciate her lip-syncing.

 

"She told me that I lip-synced half the song. Miss Abby can yell at me, she's NOT going to make me cry," declares Asia.

 

Abby pulls Mackenzie into it, asking her what she learned from watching Asia.

 

"Not to lip-sync," Mackenzie responds. HA! Who says you can't get by being cute?

 

Chloe and Maddie's solos are next an-WHOA! Did you check out the guns on Chloe? Who knew these little girls had bona fide MUSCLES? Anyway, her dance is gorgeous, and Christi thinks Maddie and Melissa should be nervous. Maddie's already nervous - she wants to win and make Miss Abby proud. Her routine looks great, but Melissa - and then Maddie - point out that there were a couple of turns that weren't perfect. And despite Mackenzie's hug backstage, Maddie responds by pushing her, reminding us all that MADDIE isn't perfect either. So Mackenzie pushes her back. And then Maddie pushes her. Then...well, if you have siblings, you know how this goes.

 

And since you know how Dance Moms goes, you can guess what happened back in the green room when Jill and Christi confront Melissa about the extra private lesson Maddie had to prepare. Yelling? Yes. But Abby doesn't want to hear it.

 

It's time for the group routine. And the best way to inspire kids before they go on stage and dance? Remind them that their grandfather has cancer. It worked though - the girls are beautiful, and Kelly's crying. This is the thing that makes Christi realize that life is too short, and Kelly is like a sister to her. "And even though you don't always like your sister (cue the b-roll of Mackenzie and Maddie from five minutes ago), you always love your sister."

Aw. It's cute. They're friends again.

 

The awards are announced as expected - Living with the Ribbon gets the overall high score for the competition. Mackenzie is awarded 2^nd Place while Asia took 1^st Place for their division. And what about Chloe and Maddie? Well...funny you should ask. Maddie is announced as 2^nd Place, while Chloe is announced as 1^st.

 

Maddie's upset. Abby tells Melissa, loud enough for the others to hear, that "there's no doubt she should've won." Paige? She thinks they both did a "faaaabulous job" so it doesn't matter who the winner is.

 

Not so fast though. Back in the green room, Abby enters with the director, who informs them all that there was a scoring error - Maddie was actually the overall winner. Chloe, because she's Chloe, is the first to start clapping, through the sting of disappointment. Maddie, because she's Maddie, is in a much better mood now that she's the best again.

 

Know who's not in a better mood? Christi. Abby claims that the judges noticed the scoring discrepancy on their own, but - oops - the cat's out of the bag with the director returns and thanks Abby for bringing it to their attention.

 

Uh oh. This wasn't a two-part episode, but something tells me this will be continued next week.

 

Catch Dance Moms every Tuesday at 9/8c on Lifetime!

 

(Image Courtesy of Lifetime)

 

Follow Kylene on Twitter at @keepingupwithky!