Posted on 06/05/2013 by Kylene in Dance Moms
by Kylene Hamulak
Dance Moms returns after a break not only for the girls, but for the viewers as well. Abby expects them all to be AMAZING in their return for a new season, especially after losing to Candy Apples at the final competition for last season. She's angry. And she's gonna let everyone know it.
So how do the girls stack up for pyramid? Well, to start, Asia's not around this week - she had a professional opportunity Abby wanted her to take advantage of in Los Angeles. Kendall's at the bottom and still getting called out for crying, Mackenzie's still getting compared to Asia, and Nia joins them for getting corrected ELEVEN times. Brooke is still middle of the road with Chloe and Asia, who, as Christi points out, isn't even in the state. Paige is up there too, for confronting grown ups. Just in case you (or Paige, or anyone else) have forgotten, Anthony and Candy Apple Cathy had a lot to say about Paige's routine, and Abby uses it as an opportunity to tell the girls that she's the only one allowed to yell at them. Something tells me Paige shouldn't bother standing up to her anytime soon! Of course, Maddie is at the top of the pyramid for beating kids several years older than she is.
For this week's routines, Maddie, Chloe, Nia and Kendall are given a jazz routine for the junior group number called "Bad Girls." Chloe and Maddie are also given a lyrical duet called "We're Alright," which they're super excited about. Paige gets a solo too, called "Get Up, Get Loud, Get Tough", and Abby wants her to make it perfect.
Then there's Brooke. It's always seemed like Brooke has
outgrown our group, and today is the day Abby wants her to graduate to dance
with the Senior Team. She'll be performing "Why Not Me," and Abby wants her to
mature as a dancer. What's the best way to do that? In Abby's mind, it means
partnering her with a - get ready for it - BOY!
Candy Apple Cathy wants to become a force to be reckoned
with in the dance world, but she's got a little problem - her boys have been
texting the girls, telling them they want to dance for ALDC.
Cathy divvies up the dances for this week's trip to Pittsburgh, including a duet for Zach and Gino called "My Father's Song." Anthony is really emotional about this story he's asking them to convey, which I predict will result in yelling at some point.
Back in Pittsburgh, Abby introduces Brooke to the boy that
she and all the other girls in the Senior Company are supposedly in love with.
Yeah...strictly from a professional standpoint? I can't say that would be hard
to imagine. As Kevin, the boy dancer, takes Brooke "around the world" (that's a
direct quote from Abby -
So how about that duet for Maddie and Chloe? Yeah, how about
it. Abby isn't happy with where they're at in rehearsals, so there must be a
reason for how bad it is. Can you guess what it is? If you said rumors about
Maddie flirting with Gino, you are correct! "Maddie knows better than that,"
Abby tells us. "NO FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY!"
And who better to interrogate for the story than Mackenzie who can't keep a secret to save her life? She's smart though - Abby asks her if Maddie kissed someone backstage. Kenzie shakes her head no. Abby then asks if someone kissed Maddie backstage....eeeeeek, she caught on, and Mackenzie slowly shakes her head yes. It's so funny to listen to the Moms debate what "going out" means for 11 year olds who live in different states. "Have to watch out for those Latin boys," Abby warns Mackenzie. "They're lovers, not fighters."
Abby's got advice for Paige too: she's skinny, she's blonde, and she's pretty, so people are going to hate her. Abby seems to genuinely want her to do well with the solo, but Kelly is annoyed that she isn't in the group routine. Speaking of the group routine, Maddie denies kissing anyone, and Abby wants to make sure everyone understands that "boys are OFF LIMITS at the Abby Lee Dance Company!"
It's time that the Moms start giving us a little drama,
don't you think? Jill thinks so. She wants to stir things up between Kelly and
Abby under the guise of concern for what a great opportunity Brooke is getting
that Kelly doesn't appreciate. You know what Kelly doesn't appreciate, Jill?
YOU TALKING TO ABBY ABOUT HER KID.
Uh....what? Did you - did anyone - was I the only one who saw Jill bring HERSELF into the middle of this thing between Kelly and Abby?
Well, that erupts. And as the Moms (sans Kelly) meet to discuss how best to handle Kelly right now, they come to the most logical conclusion ever: SLUMBER PARTY! Um, obvs. A slumber party will bring the girls together (presumably NOT to talk about boys though), and when the girls are happy, the Moms are happy. I wasn't under the impression that the girls were unhappy prior to the slumber party plan, but that's neither here nor there.
�Meanwhile in Ohio, Anthony wants the Candy Apple boys to dance stronger and more masculine. My first step would've been changing their name from CANDY APPLES, but instead they're headed to the gym to work on strength training. Seems like the Dance Dads are just as bad as the Moms - Jalen's dad starts mouthing with Gino's dad. Candy Apple Cathy says, "This workout seems to be unleashing way too much male macho-ness," as Gino leaves with his dad.
The Apples need Gino for their competition, and Cathy
doesn't want to see her team fall apart. Despite his flat out refusal to
apologize, a tearful Cathy begs Jalen's dad to talk to Gino's dad. Nope.
Jalen's dad suggests that Cathy should talk to Gino's dad and find out where his
allegiance is.
Back at ALDC, Jill is shopping in the costume closet with Christi, which, as Christi points out, is really just an excuse for Jill to gossip some more about Kelly. She just wants to be able to call Kelly out and have support for it, so Christi is like, "Sure, Jill. Whatever." So Jill, with her delusional confidence that Kelly really will see the error of her ways, asks Kelly if she feels bad about yelling. "No," says Kelly. And I'm pretty sure she means it, which makes Jill's shock all the more amusing.
And that does it. There's the usual Dance Moms bickering where they're denying ever saying things and claiming they're just concerned about the kids, but they're louder than usual, which interrupts Abby at rehearsal. "I have had it...every time they sit there, their butts get wider and their mouths get bigger!"
You know what's the best part of this entire argument? Abby
and the senior dancers are looking up and watching them, like some bizarre
theater, and when the F-word drops out of Christi's mouth. "WHO JUST SAID
THAT," demands Abby. "Christi!" offer up all the dancers.
Jill's fight becomes Christi's, which becomes heated between her and Kelly. Christi storms off through the locker room, which leaves Paige in tears. "We never confront the kids or finger point at the kids, and Christi went down to Paige, and it was bad," Melissa explains. Maddie is there to confirm what happened, but I would really rather hear from Mackenzie. You know she'd have the REAL full story.
The Candy Apples, meanwhile, are practicing their group routine, which is apparently the Lance Armstrong story. The Candy Dads? They're practicing their best Dance Moms impressions, gossiping about who's replaceable.
The Dance Moms are warned by Abby to behave or risk their daughters' removal. Holly tries to make things better by telling Kelly that she's a good friend, but Kelly doesn't want to hear it. She starts hyperventilating and declares, "I'm done."
Also done: Anthony, who is working on the duet between Zach and Gino with choreography that tells the story of his father. It's a personal routine for Anthony, and he wants the best from the boys, who are struggling. Zach starts crying as Anthony begins raising his voice, which upsets his mom and Cathy. His mom tells Cathy that if her son is afraid to dance for Anthony, she'll take him elsewhere.
Brooke's work with the seniors continues, and, of course, Abby isn't satisfied with what the group is giving her. She wants Brooke and Kevin to trust each other, and what's the best way to do that? No, no, not a slumber party, but close - A DATE! Is it even necessary for me to cue the gasps anymore?
Brooke agrees to Kevin's (very awkward thanks to Abby) invitation for a date, but she's not looking for a boyfriend at dance. "That just means I'd be at the studio more," she explains. Good point, Brooke.
The date? They went out to eat. And by that? I mean they went to get desserts. So basically, I would definitely go out on a date with Kevin. If he wasn't 17. However, with that being said, I wish I wasn't on THEIR date with them. It's about as comfortable as Jalen's "date" with Vivi.
"Miss Abby always says, 'no boys, no boys', but this is the second date she's set me up on," Brooke tells us. Kevin's also surprised to hear he wasn't her first dance date.
Then Kevin gets cannoli on Brooke's face (which I'm positive was not encouraged by production at ALL because obviously all 17 year old boys on dates with 15 year old girls would immediately think, "hey, it's a good idea for me to smear food on this girl's face!"). It's a good thing she's with the mature dancers now, isn't it?
Despite feuding mothers and dates and fighting dads and choreographers, somehow everyone still manages to show up ready to compete in Pittsburgh. The duets are up first, with Maddie and Chloe taking the stage first. They're perfect together, which no sign of the issues they had in early rehearsals. Melissa describes them as dancing "like mirrors," and she's right. Zach and Geno perform Anthony's tribute to his father, and it is a very touching routine but Abby's not impressed.
If you guessed that Abby's critique was going to set off Cathy, who was sitting right behind her with Anthony, that would be a correct assumption. Cathy wants to give her a piece of her mind for trashing something "beautiful," and Anthony accuses Abby of disrespecting his choreography, his team, and his legacy. "Nobody's gonna get away with that," he promises. With all due respect, Anthony - this competition isn't about your legacy.
The solos are next, and Paige looks gorgeous and ready for the stage. Candy Apple Nick...looks...like...a bird. And he's kind of freaking out. Nick's routine is first, and it's crazy with acrobatics. It's almost creepy, but he does a great job. Paige can see Anthony and Cathy in the audience, but she blocks it out to deliver a strong routine, and Abby gives her positive feedback.
The Moms have one last blow out in the dressing room together, but it's pretty much everything we've all heard before. Basically, Kelly and Christi aren't friends anymore.
And then it's time for the group routines. In the hallway on the way to the stage, ALDC and the Candy Apples encounter each other, which never ends well. Is it kind of old for anyone else? But there's a new twist this time - while Cathy trades barbs with Jill, no one from her team backs her up. And she's not happy about that. She asks her parents why none of them had anything to say, and one of the moms stands firm that they won't get involved when there are children present. That doesn't fly with Cathy - she's willing to cut them from the team for it!
So the dancing. The first group number up is the senior company, including Brooke. "This was a top notch piece," says Abby. And it really does look great. Brooke fit right in, and the dancers looked beautiful. Candy Apples are up next with their cycle-themed group, which has some cool tricks in it, followed by the Abby Lee junior group of Nia, Maddie, Kendall, and Chloe. They're sassy and fun and the routine was tight and in sync.
The awards begin with the solos, where Paige is awarded 2nd place to Candy Apple Nick's 1st place bird routine. The duo awards, however, reverse that showing - Chloe and Maddie's duet takes 1st place, with Anthony's tribute to his dad placing 2nd. The Abby Lee seniors took 1st place as well, and Abby is very proud of Brooke. The final awards are for the junior group, where Candy Apples again place 2nd, with the Abby Lee team taking 1st.
Everyone should be happy now, right? Kelly's not. She's still emotional and not friends with Christi. Gino's dad? He's not either. He wants to move off of Cathy's team. And Jalen's dad? He watches as Gino's dad (I don't want to learn their names, and you can't make me!) approaches Abby about the opportunity.
"Cathy's gonna lose her mind," Holly observes.
She does. She accuses Gino's dad of being a mole (I do not think "mole" means what she thinks it means) and asks him to leave, much to the enjoyment of Jalen's dad.
But that's a Candy Apple problem. As for ALDC? Abby ends this one in a good mood.
Catch Dance Moms on Lifetime every Tuesday at 9/8c!
(Image Courtesy of Lifetime)
Follow Kylene on Twitter at @keepingupwithky!
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