by Kylene Hamulak

 

After looking back at the Stars' best years last night, we get to reflect again on tonight's results of Dancing With the Stars.

 

Here Come the Girls: The show opens with a performance to Beyonce's "Run the World" featuring all the professional ladies in a highlight performance.  What sticks out at me? There are a lot of blondes in this group.

 

First Four: Aly and Mark are the first couple declared SAFE, after earning the highest scores from the judges. Zendaya and Val are SAFE too - a combination of high scores and popularity, no doubt. High scorers Kellie and Derek are SAFE for another week too, and they're joined by Ingo and Kym, who are SAFE. I'm surprised - not because they didn't do a great job, but because that's, like, almost half the field to safety!

 

Flipping Good: Len announces that Aly and Mark will have the encore performance. There wasn't much to improve on, but I do think the routine was cleaner than last night. Mostly because it didn't look like Mark almost dropped her this time.

 

WHO is in the Bottom 3? Jacoby and Karina and Sean and Peta are called to the dance floor for their results, where Karina admits she had a false start before the routine. No harm though - Jacoby and Karina are SAFE. Sean and Peta predict that they'll be in the Bottom 3, but they're wrong - they are SAFE. I'm starting to wonder if there's been a forfeit and EVERYONE else is going to be safe. Sidenote: How is Peta's skirt staying on?

 

Behind Bruno: Highlighting some of Bruno's most random critiques, we meet his "writer", who credits himself with "writing poetry, but instead of using a pen you use a bedazzled stick of dynamite." Bizarre. I wish that job really did exist, though.

Southern Comfort: Brad Paisley is in the ballroom tonight, performing "Southern Comfort Zone," which is basically a song about all the things you won't find in the North East, accompanied with a dance from Tony and Peta.

 

Favorite Pros: Val and Karina, are named the fan favorites after the twitter competition last night, which is kind of awkward considering she was engaged to his brother for a while. What is our reward for choosing them to pair up? A random dance as we throw to commercial.

 

Spotlight Performance: In a truly inspirational story, we meet Brilynn Rakes, a legally blind dancer. Her vision is about five feet, and the bright light of day is difficult for her. She can't learn to dance by traditional methods - she can only go by what she feels. She describes dance as feeling as though, "I'm on a moving boat trying to stand on one leg." She is surprised by Derek, her favorite Pro, who joins her for her performance. It's beautiful. I raised my 10 paddles for them.

 

Unlikely Pair-o: J. Lo and Andrea Bocelli pair up to perform "Quizas". Yes, the entire thing is in Spanish. Val and Anna dance as well. Presumably also in Spanish.

 

The Misfits: Since all the high scorers are safe, the misfits are the only ones left to hear their fates. DL's war against the judges continues, Lisa was literally getting sick just minutes before going on, Andy is proud to have danced for his daughter, and Victor apparently would've forgotten to take off his robe and gloves if Lindsay hadn't been yelling at him from the dance floor. DL and Cheryl are declared SAFE first, and Andy and Sharna learn they are SAFE after a commercial, leaving Lisa and Gleb and Victor and Lindsay in danger for the second week in a row.

 

Goodbye, Giggy: Lisa and Gleb are announced as the lowest scoring couple, making Victor and Lindsay SAFE. It's probably best anyway - she admits that the show has taken its toll on her. I guess her pup can hang up his tux until the finale.

 

Lisa and Gleb are ELIMINATED.

 

Final Thoughts: Yep, not surprised by this one. Victor and Lindsay are going to have a lot to overcome next week, as I get the feeling they're just not connecting to viewers, and even a good performance might put them in danger. Next week, we'll get the return of some of the Pros, who will dance with our remaining couples.

 

Know what that means?

 

TRISTAN IS BACK.

 

Dancing With The Stars airs every Monday at 8/7c with Results every Tuesday at 9/8c on ABC!

 

(Images courtesy of ABC)

 

Follow Kylene on Twitter @keepingupwithky!