by Kylene Hamulak

 

It's all led up to this. After 15 seasons gave us a cast of great dancers, the best of the best came to compete for the Dancing With the Stars: All-Stars mirror ball trophy!

 

The opening number features all the All-Stars and their partners in a great routine that reminds me how many dancers have been eliminated that I forgot about. It's great to see (most of) them not only dancing, but having fun with each other.

 

Before we can get to the final dances of the competition, we get a short recap of the evening before, which featured some of the best performances of the season. The most important detail we learn in the recap? Apparently Kelly's aerial work was done with just three hours of training!

 

For the final encore of the season, the judges have chosen Shawn and Derek's freestyle with the US Women's Gymnastics team, so it's nice that they got two showings out of this routine. It was the right choice to make - the crowd loves it just as much as the first time they saw it.

 

As with any Dancing With the Stars finale, DanceCenter is back, with Jerry Rice, Len, and Kenny Mayne, wearing a baby blue tux and bowtie (but no shirt) giving us their thoughts on the competition. Kenny, like me, is rooting for boy banders Joey and Drew in the finals, until Len breaks it to him that they were eliminated weeks ago.

 

Kirstie and Maks' functioning dysfunctional relationship is discussed, as is Bristol "The Pistol" Palin's visit to the shooting range with Mark. ("Unfortunately, she missed," says Kenny.) I also loved Jerry's observation about the most shocking elimination ever, Cheetah Girl Sabrina. "The reason that I know," says Jerry, "is because Tom and Brooke, they wouldn't stop talking about it."

 

And now back to the finalists, who are about to pick mini mirror balls hiding the music and dance style for their "Instant Dances," the last routine they'll perform for the judges. Kelly and Val pick the "Cat and Mouse Jive", Melissa and Tony get "Life is a Highway Samba", and Shawn and Derek will be dancing the "Respect Cha Cha".

 

While the finalists prepare for their last routine, Bristol and Mark perform, and she's just as terrible as she was when she was eliminated. Sorry, Bristol - it's gonna take more than fringe to hide that. Pam and Tristan are up next, but she's got a few extra guys with her for her striptease, and I sort of wish she would just sit down so we could all enjoy Tristan. (I had something else to write here, but then Tom made his "two drink minimum" joke, which sort of stole my thunder.)

 

Next up? Helio and Chelsie, which means we get to see their communication issues. I don't care that we've seen it before, Chelsie's face when she finds out South Americans speak Spanish is amazing. Their dance is a lot of fun to watch, too.

Drew and Anna have brought a secret weapon to their finale Cha Cha - his daughter Isabella! She's really excited about dancing with her daddy, and I'm really excited to see it. Drew's one-handed cartwheel was great, but come on...Isabella is the star of this dance. She doesn't do much, but she looks adorable doing it. Kind of like some of the stars, if you think about it.

 

Remember when the All-Stars performed guilty pleasure songs as a team a few weeks ago? Well, in case you forgot, you get to relive it tonight, starting with Gangnam Style performed by Kirstie and Maks, Cheryl and Emmitt, Joey and Kym (and a special shout out to Joey's half shirt, exposing a belly I didn't need to see), and Gilles and Peta.

 

After a brief break for Brooke to check in with Kelly and Val (rehearsing in the parking lot), Joey and Kym are back for their finale dance. Joey's not satisfied with just dancing, however - he wants to compete. The only way he can do that is by hopping in a DeLorean and heading BACK TO THE FUTURE! And by the future? He really means 1987, where he has a conversation with his younger self about French fries, boybands, and the importance of starting Cha Cha practice now. If only my future self had given me such advice! Seriously, using Back to the Future as a theme is awesome, and the routine is extra cute when Joey and Kym's "younger selves" join them for the dance.

 

This season has been full of twists and turns, including challenges that gave full creative control to the All-Stars, trying out new dance styles, and fusion dances. We see a montage of some of the highlights from those dances before welcoming Sabrina and Louis back to the dance floor. Don't know if you heard, but her eliminations were THE. MOST. SHOCKING. in all of Dancing With the Stars history. According to Tom, anyway.

 

The next team dance - to Call Me Maybe - brings Apolo and Karina, Helio and Chelsie, Sabrina and Louis, and Drew and Anna to the dance floor. They all look so good dancing on a team! Or maybe I just love this song. And high school. And purple costumes. Whatever.

DanceCenter is back to weigh in on the remaining All-Stars, starting with Emmitt Smith. Fun fact? Emmitt's favorite color is neon (according to Kenny). The commentating crew also treats us to a collection of Gilles' patriotic sentiments. I feel better now, knowing that other people noticed how many times he mentioned America.

 

Kirstie and Maks are back on the floor next, and she gives a very respectable performance. Gilles and Peta bring back their Bollywood routine, which was probably my favorite of their season.

 

What's a night of celebration without a little depression? Enter Apolo and Karina dancing to Sara Beth by Rascal Flatts. Pretty song? Yes. Except I can't concentrate on the dance because the first lines are all about Sara Beth's meeting with her doctor to learn she has, like, cancer or something. In the words of Debbie Downer: Wah waaah. The last semifinalists to dance are Emmitt and Cheryl, who, like Apolo and Karina, were eliminated just one week short of the finale. They're all really good, but honestly - we chose the right finalists, America.

 

Before those finalists show us their last dances, DanceCenter gives their thoughts. Shawn is noted for her perkiness and dynamic moves and, also, for her giggling. Which sounds kind of creepy when you see it all edited together like that.

 

Kenny assures us Melissa isn't just a pretty face, then takes it back when we see the clips of her telling us she's got nothing in her head. You know what never gets old, though? Watching these dancers - who I KNOW are graceful in ways I could never be - fall over themselves and each other. Thanks for the chuckles, Melissa and Tony.

 

And then there's Kelly, who Len tells us "spins like a top." But no discussion of Kelly is complete without discussion of Val and, of course, his wardrobe. Or lack thereof. Cue the shirtless clips, ABC.

 

As the competition begins, Kelly says it best: "Have you ever seen a girl fight before? It's vicious." And with three ladies in the finale, that's exactly what we're going to see.

 

Team: Kelly and Val
Dance: Cat and Mouse Jive
Kelly is cheered on with videos from her General Hospital co-star Rebecca Herbst and Ne-Yo, of all people. Considering they had less than an hour to learn it, their Jive routine looks pretty good, with a lot of quick foot sequences that make the dance so fun to watch. Judges said:
9.5 - Len commends Kelly for the work she's done throughout the season, calling her a revelation and saying tonight, she nailed it. "Well done."
9.5 - Bruno notes how difficult the Jive is to do because it requires such precision, and despite sometimes losing balance, "the effect was magnificent."
9.5 - Carrie Ann is impressed by what Kelly and Val were able to do with the "instant dance." She tells them they've won the hearts of the audience, as well as her own. That's great, Carrie Ann, but I think they'd rather have the mirror ball trophy.
Total Score - 28.5

It should be noted that in her interview, Brooke pressed for the final word on Kelly and Val's relationship. Kelly wished everyone could have a friendship as special as the one she has with Val, and the audience groaned and laughed simultaneously. I just wish someone would interview her boyfriend.

 

Team: Melissa and Tony
Dance: Life is a Highway Samba
As they have all season, Melissa and Tony are hungry to take home the trophy that the other two finalists have already won. Melissa also wants to take home one of the framed stills from their rehearsal studio. Their Samba is a strong way for them to finish the competition. Judges said:
9.5 - Bruno says she's "turning into a South American siren, slinky with a touch of rock ‘n roll." He thinks they did a great job pulling off the dance in such a short time.
9.5 - Carrie Ann felt that Melissa rushed the pace a little bit, but says they have been stellar.
9.5 - Len tells Melissa she has been his "greatest pleasure to watch" this season.
Total Score: 28.5

Team: Shawn and Derek
Dance: Respect Cha Cha
Rehearsals for these two get a little choked up, particularly when Derek talks about how Shawn has been an inspiration for him, a little spark in his life. Even so, his prayers to NOT get the Cha Cha go unanswered for their final dance. For all the hoping not to get it, though, Shawn and Derek prove they can pretty much dance anything, as their routine does not look like one that was thrown together in less than an hour. Judges said:
10 - Carrie Ann calls Shawn "nothing less than perfection!"
10 - Len says she's "the no-stress express" and commends her for coping with whatever choreography Derek could throw at her. "That was fantastic."
10 - Bruno believes that no matter what happens, they're going out with a bang - "Perfection!"
Total Score: 30.0

Before the fan voting is announced, Melissa and Tony are at the top of the leaderboard, followed by Kelly and Val, then Shawn and Derek at the bottom. When judges' scores are combined with fan voting, Kelly and Val are the first couple eliminated from the finale, awarded Third Place.

 

The blinged out All-Stars Mirror Ball Trophy stands between the finalists as the champions are announced, and Tom is tricky as always:

 

"Now they have won..." - wait, did he say "too" or "two"?? Because that makes a BIG difference. Have Shawn and Derek just claimed their second trophy? Or have Melissa and Tony finally joined the ranks of champions?

 

The winners are...Melissa and Tony!

 

The dance floor erupts in celebration, the culmination of a long journey that started way back in Season 8 for the couple, and even earlier than that for Tony, who is also a first-time winner. The rest of the cast hoists Melissa and Tony on their shoulders, hailing the Dancing With the Stars: All Stars heroes.

 

Congratulations, Melissa and Tony!

 

Stay tuned to Reality Wanted for your up to date news when the next season of Dancing With the Stars is announced!