by Kylene Hamulak

 

Tonight's Dancing With the Stars: All Stars semifinal brings us a double feature of dancing on the eve of a double elimination. The couples will perform in two rounds - one is in tribute to the anniversary of Michael Jackson's Bad album (and that's good!), while the other round will be the assigned theme and style announced in last week's results show (and that could be bad, since no one really seems to know how well that's going to work.)

 

To start off the night (because God knows we need a way to fill two hours!) the troupe performs a Michael Jackson medley of Smooth Criminal and The Way You Make Me Feel. I dare you to listen to MJ and not be inspired show off your moves...even if your "move" is done from your chair like me.

 

The first round will be the assigned themes and styles, and our couples are ready to go.

 

Team: Melissa and Tony
Dance: Caveman Hustle
Coming off a very strong week, Melissa and Tony think that part of their advantage has been dancing with no fear, especially now as the only non-champions left. Well, if this week doesn't scare them, maybe nothing will, as they're struggling to make a caveman theme look anything but stupid. In addition to that, Tony suffered a back injury while rehearsing. He's back on the dance floor to compete, but who knows how the injury impacted their ability to practice. Their routine begins with a T-Rex joining their Bedrock fire pit party, so I guess they gave up on trying to make it look not stupid. Still, Melissa and Tony, dressed in the loincloths, do a good job throwing in tricks, and they're always entertaining to watch. Judges said:
9.5 - Len says, "Fred and Wilma have never danced so well!" and calls it "The hustle with no hassle."
9.0 - Bruno is going positively primeval in his critique of the routine, which he calls the most effective use of animal skin since Raquel Welch. He notes a couple of spots where she lost her footing, but loved the performance.
9.0 - Carrie Ann called it the "perfect way to bring the two most random dances together." And right then, ladies and gentlemen, I learned that Caveman is not only a theme, but also a dance style. Who knew?
TOTAL: 27.5

Team: Shawn and Derek
Dance: Knight Rider Banghra
So to give you an idea of how well this theme and style mix, Derek tells us he'd rather eat mustard on ice cream. He brings in an outside choreographer, who explains that it's sort of like the drunk uncle at a wedding. Well, I don't know about you, but my excitement for this dance just keeps building! Keep talking, guys! Shawn is nervous that the style of dance goes against all the training she's had in gymnastics and ballroom. The routine is fast and athletic and...well, yeah, not like anything we've really seen before in the ballroom. I'm not entirely sure how Shawn didn't get tangled up in her dress, and I think I'd throw in a couple of bonus points just for that. The crowd absolutely loves it! Judges said:
10.0 - Bruno calls it "Another mega-hit for Shawn and the Hough, and this time they've done it Banghra style!"
10.0 - Carrie Ann says it was a fantastic, great job, especially with a very challenging style of dance.
10.0 - Len rambles the following: "I'll tell you whaaaat...shhhuut up, close the door, call me Mary (wait - did he say Mary?), Miss Dynomite was FANTASTIC!" I guess that means "It was good" in curmudgeon.
TOTAL: 30.0

Team: Apolo and Karina
Dance: Big Top Jazz
The key to Apolo and Karina's routine will be to bring in the circus with a lot of tricks and lifts, which requires a LOT of practice. Apolo calls it a "relentless pursuit of perfection." I'm not really sure I get their mime-theme during the performance, though there are some neat tricks in it. The dance floor is so littered with props, it's hard to tell exactly what I'm supposed to be watching, but I guess when you're assigned "Big Top Jazz", you're kind of stuck in a box. And not the invisible mime kind either. Judges said:
8.5 - Carrie Ann loves the concept, but thought it was disjointed and out of sync and somewhat sloppy.
9.0 - Len agreed there were a couple of awkward moments, but calls Apolo a fighter with "a champion's will to win."
9.5 - Bruno calls it a "blend of Cirque du Soleil and A Clockwork Orange." He thinks it is a great mixture of jazz movement and one of their most creative performances.
TOTAL: 27.0

Team: Emmitt and Cheryl
Dance: Espionage Lindy Hop
Cheryl's approach to their routine is to make it very cartoonish, which is out of Emmitt's comfort zone. She'll play that bad guy while Emmitt is the good guy trying to protect the Mirror Ball trophy. I don't know much about styles of dance, but this pair looks great on this routine. There are just enough props to keep the story going without losing focus on the dance, and their moves are well executed. Judges said:
9.0 - Len likes the concept, energy, lifts and fun. "I would've liked a little more Lindy in there, but the whole package was fantastic - well done!"
9.0 - Bruno describes it as "a Looney Toons version of James Bond" and thinks it was the most fun performance he's ever seen Emmitt do.
9.0 - Carrie Ann agrees and says it was the most animated performance he's ever given.
TOTAL: 27.0

Team: Kelly and Val
Dance: Surfer Flamenco
In response to getting the Surfer Flamenco last week, Kelly notes that none of the pairs was going to assign a dance that they thought their competition would do really well on. What I'd like to know is which of the dances would've been obviously easy for anyone, because I'm pretty sure most of them are like, to borrow from Derek, mustard on ice cream. Their routine goes from end to end on the dance floor and has an unexpected surprise - stripped of their Flamenco costumes, Surfer Val and Beach Babe Kelly are dancing on the beach! Splashing - yes, splashing, with actual water - as they finish their routine, it's a really neat element that not only fits with their performance, but actually enhances it. The audience loves it. And Val looks ridiculous in a tiny Speedo suit and his dancing shoes. Judges said:
8.5 - Bruno, of course, loves the Speedos, but he does give a serious critique about placement for the Flamenco. Though the fire and emotion was present, he calls the dance wild and erratic.
8.0 - Carrie Ann agrees with Bruno, saying the routine was a lot of Paso, but not Flamenco. "We wanted to see all the arms and the nuances...it was a little robotic for a Flamenco."
9.0 - Len compares the routine to a poker game, saying that they went all in. "It had verve, it had attack...your energy and the way you worked was terrific."
TOTAL: 25.5

The second round of routines is a celebration of Michael Jackson's Bad:

 

Team: Melissa and Tony
Dance: Argentine Tango
Melissa's profile is mostly about how she wants to know what it feels like to win. The pressure for all the dancers has been building for weeks, and this close to the finale, no one wants to be left out. She thinks it's a good time in the competition for the Argentine Tango because it's such a fierce and powerful dance, and she's absolutely right. Tony has a handle on her throughout the routine, but the showcase here is all Melissa, and she executes every move beautifully. Judges said:
10.0 - Len tells Melissa that, based on her two performances tonight, he would be very disappointed if she wasn't in the finals.
10.0 - Bruno is excited and says that the sequence of lifts was especially impressive. "You deserve to be in the final - America, please, listen to me!" Well, ok then - you heard the man, America.
10.0 - Carrie Ann says, "That was beyond anything I could have imagined for you. I can't believe that you're the underdog right now."
TOTAL: 30.0

Team: Shawn and Derek
Dance: Argentine Tango
As Derek struggles with creating choreography he's happy with, Shawn has her own battles with confidence in the competition. She admits that winning is really important to her, and that it would be devastating not to finish after coming so close. The dancing is great, but I'm totally distracted by the side of Shawn's dress. Being that, you know, it's not there. I know there's glue and tape and straps I can't see, but even so - how is there no wardrobe malfunction here? Anyway, after two strong performances tonight, America should be punching Shawn's ticket to the finale as well. Judges said:
10.0 - Bruno calls it breathtaking and stylistically perfect. Comparing it to Melissa and Tony's interpretation of the dance, he says it was equally brilliant in a different way. "Is there anything you can't do?"
9.0 - Carrie Ann agrees that the movement was perfect, but she thinks they lacked some of the passion, intimacy and drama of a true Argentine Tango.
10.0 - Len explains the two parts of dancing - learning the routine and selling it. "For me, you nailed both parts."
TOTAL: 29.0

Team: Apolo and Karina
Dance: Rhumba
In Apolo's profile piece, he talks about the growth and journey he and Karina have been on, including the highs and lows for both of them throughout the competition. To make it to the finals, Apolo believes he has to make a connection with the audience. They're dancing to Man in the Mirror, which is one of my favorite MJ songs, so I'm inclined to like this performance already. After the two strong dances before them, their Rhumba doesn't have quite the same impact, but it's beautifully done. Both Apolo and Karina seem to really enjoy and embody the routine, and that emotion goes a long way in selling it to the ballroom. Judges said:
10.0 - Carrie Ann says, "You don't have to over dance in this competition to achieve perfection - you reached into my heart and melted it."
10.0 - Len describes it like the sea, "wave after wave of effortless motion....It was fabulous."
10.0 - Bruno thinks they nailed it. "That was perfectly pitched between sensuality and romance."
TOTAL: 30.0

Team: Emmitt and Cheryl
Dance: Tango
Frustrations are running a little higher than usual in rehearsals with Emmitt and Cheryl. They're feeling the pressure to push Emmitt's dancing up a notch. Their efforts pay off, as Emmitt matches Cheryl step for step on the dance floor. The only problem is that Emmitt's charisma has played a part in carrying him this far, and with some of the pairs bringing dynamic dancing in addition to personality, his skills may not be enough. Judges said:
9.0 - Len thinks Emmitt has "coped marvelously well" with two dances that are out of his comfort zone and had the greatest challenge of all the competitors this week.
9.0 - Bruno loves his intensity and thinks the power was present, but the technique could benefit from a little more refinement.
9.0 - Carrie Ann appreciates that Emmitt pushed himself in both routines, but notes some issues with technique. "We have to judge on technique, but I think everybody else enjoyed it.
TOTAL: 27.0

Team: Kelly and Val
Dance: Rhumba
Wanna talk awkward? Let's have a conversation with Kelly and Val where Val keeps repeating the name of their song (I Just Can't Stop Loving You) and Kelly doesn't really know how to respond. She explains that she has trouble being vulnerable with her movements, and performing such intimate routines is hard for her. The lighting in the ballroom is dim for their performance, and for a second I'm not sure she's wearing anything besides a bed sheet wrapped around her. Again, I don't know much about technique, but the routine looks beautiful. After a Flamenco that did not impress all the judges, however, it may take more than that to get them high scores. Judges said:
9.5 - Bruno says, "You were just performing like you never have, you were giving everything you had, and it was good to see. It was wonderful."
9.5 - Carrie Ann calls it beautiful and breathtaking.
9.5 - Len notes that it had a "lovely balance." "You did it wonderful - well done."
TOTAL: 28.5

So after a somewhat inconsistent set of opening routines, all of the All Stars came back with great performances in the second half of tonight's show, but who is in danger to be eliminated? Two of our five pairs will leave the competition after this week's live results, with only three making it to the finale show next week. I think Shawn and Melissa and their respective partners are most likely to make it through, but when the difference between the top (Shawn and Derek, 59) and bottom (Emmit and Cheryl and Kelly and Val, 54) of the leader board is only five points, it really comes down to America's vote.

Catch Dancing With The Stars results Tuesday at 8/7c on ABC!

(Image courtesy of ABC)