by Mike Bandy

 

Well it's time for another episode of RHONYC, which means more bickering, more awkward lunches, and more petty behavior. Isn't this season over yet?

 

At least we got to start out with crazy-as-crackers Ramona, who was with Alex and Kelly at a party space, talking about how she was planning her own birthday party (perhaps she sensed that none of the other women would plan one for her?). This was going to be a joint party for Sonja as well, but it's a surprise. OMG, how fun! The event planner walked them around and showed them the place, and Ramona got misty about how much she cared for Sonja. It was odd to see her have an emotion that wasn't...drunken.

 

Next, we caught up with the mayor of Boringville, Cindy, and she was...oh lord, she's waxing people in public! Seriously! Pubes were blurred out and everything! And there were bejewels on dudes! Jill was appalled, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but so was I! If this waxing thing is all Cindy has going for her, I can't see her coming back for another season. The woman is dull as toast.

 

The party sure wasn't dull, though. Simon pulled Jill aside and said he wanted to talk to her, which she originally agreed to, until Kelly stuck her nose in to talk about how weird it was. Kelly, here's a helpful hint - SHUT UP! All you do is talk about how weird everything is! You're the most socially awkward pretty girl I've ever seen! You should just sit in a tower somewhere looking down on everyone! Quietly!

 

Man, that felt good. Anyway, Jill decided she didn't want to meet with Simon after all, and she went to tell him, to which he replied, "Watch out." This sent Jill into a tailspin, and Kelly, sticking her nose in again, approached Simon to tell him that he'd made Jill uncomfortable. Simon argued with her, Kelly told him to be a man, and Alex and Simon got out of there. Jill said that if Simon is gonna get in the middle of things with her and Alex, she may need to cut ties again. That's probably best - these women were never meant to be friends in the first place.

 

Meanwhile, Sonja's toilet is clogged, so she called a plumber. This man was gorgeous and had a winning smile, which he kept plastered on while Sonja gave him way too much information about her divorce and how she had no help, and then introduced him to her Feng Shui lady. The poor guy just wanted to get his work done and get back to his hot plumbers convention (which I've decided I need tickets to). It turned out that Sonja's toilet was clogged with a BlackBerry. No, seriously. The plumber left, taking my heart with him, and Sonja was left to get all Feng Shui'd and clear the energy in her home.

 

Pardon me a sec - I'm gonna go stuff an entire roll of toilet paper down the toilet so I'll need a plumber...and we're back!

 

Jill was painting her apartment and asked Kelly and Luann to come over and help. How fantastic was the Countess in an apron?! So domestic! The painting didn't last long (especially for Kelly, who didn't do anything), because the ladies were talking about how inappropriate Simon was. Meanwhile, Alex and Simon were talking about it too, and Alex said that there can be no Jill & Alex if there's no Jill & Simon. Oh, here we go...

 

Ramona and Sonja's party isn't worth going into so much detail over, so here are the basics: Sonja was surprised, Ramona told Jill that she should have called her to explain why she wasn't invited to her hosiery thing, and everybody had a good time. Great.

Cindy met her parents at a restaurant and only brought one of her kids, but she soon called someone from her office to pick the child up, and then proceeded to moan about how she needed a vacation. From WHAT?? You're barely at work, and sixty five nannies are raising your kids! This is so bothersome to me - ladies, don't have children if you don't want to take care of them! Period!

 

We ended the show on a sour note, because Kelly was involved. She met up with Alex to tell her that Simon's behavior was disturbing and it makes her uncomfortable, as just about all social interaction does. Alex said that she should take it up with Simon, and Kelly launched into this whole thing about how she always defends Alex, but she's not going to do that anymore. Alex said that Kelly doesn't have a clear picture of who she is. Alex, you're selling Kelly short - the woman doesn't have a clear picture of anything at all!

 

Oh lord, Luann's got another song, and she's shooting a video for it next week. Why?

 

The Real Housewives of New York City airs Thursdays at 10/9c on Bravo.

 

(Image courtesy of Bravo)