Posted on 05/24/2011 by David in The Bachelorette

by David McAlpine
Alright Bachelorette fans, it's that time once again for us to follow along another lost soul on their journey for love. This time, it's University of Pennsylvania dentistry student Ashley Hebert, who was jilted just before the final rose ceremony on last season by Bachelor Brad Womack.
Of course, we get to relive all those moments again from Brad's season--and more! Because now Ashley knows how to handle herself when she's around her guys. She knows what she wants and she's confident she can get it. It's no more protected Ashley, because Bachelorette Ashley is here to find a man!
And man, does she have men to choose from. Here's a select look (via ABC's editing job) of some of her options:
Ryan P., 31, Solar Energy Executive: Yes, the man makes buildings solar-powered for a living. But it seems like it does well, and he's growing really rapidly. Overall, super nice guy and quite the looker.
J.P., 34, Construction Manager: He's a little too New York for me. He also seems to be stretching the limits of masculinity for a New York construction manager…I'm definitely getting a weird vibe from him.
Ames, 31, Portfolio Manager: Capable of sounding like an extremely motivated person and a d-bag all at the same time. I don't know whether to like the Harvard-Columbia-Yale triple threat who's run 39 marathons and could hold the weight of the world on his shoulders, or turn him away because of his weird face.
Ben, 28, Lawyer: Hello, New Orleans! I love this guy. He's sweet and he seems down to Earth. Yes, he's a little cheesy, but this is The Bachelorette.
Benjamin, 28, Winemaker: Now this is my kind of man. Owns a winery and makes his own wine? No need to tell me twice to give him a rose. He's also a "total brunette guy," which should make Ashley pleased she died her hair.
Bentley, 28, Businessman: Anyone who has the title of "businessman" should be a little sketchy. But I can't get past his good looks. Sure, he may want Emily to be the Bachelorette and he divorced his wife (with a kid in tow)…but he's so good looking.
Anthony, 28, Butcher: Not a fan of the New York guys this season! Too open of a collar, and too much of a "how you doin'?" attitude.
West, 30, Lawyer: This year's sob story. He was married for 7 years and found his wife, who had trouble with seizures, face down in the bathtub. Vulnerable and hot = prime target for a winner.
William, 30, Cell Phone Salesman: He's the guy who's always unlucky in love. But he's also a cell phone salesman, so am I wrong in saying he kind of deserves it?
Meanwhile, Ashley is just concerned about her disappointing the guys (i.e. she wasn't the first choice to be on the show). However, she's already gotten inside information that Bentley is only on the show to promote his business, yet she still wants to give him a chance. I guess we can cross "intelligence" off her list.
One-by-one the men step out of the limo for their first chance to impress Ashley. Jon is from Canada and gives her a taste of his fireman lift (even though he's an E-commerce executive), while Lucas just smells good. Mickey tried to pull a Chantal and give Ashley something from the rest of America--a kiss. And he gets denied big time. Ouch!
Tim is next, another New Yorker, who says he's a "liquor distributor," which makes sense since he's already too drunk to stammer out words. Ben (from New Orleans) speaks to her in French (and jumps to the top of my list!) and West gives her a compass that's stuck on West.
"Opposite of east, a little north of south," he quips. Oh man, it's getting really, really hot in here.
Anthony the butcher comes off as threatening, Rob says he has no crowns (plus for a dentist!) and teaches her some very lame handshake, and Jeff shows up in a mask. Apparently he wants to show Ashley that it's all about the inside, but no one else is buying it, especially not me.
Frank does a dance with Ashley, and he's got moves! Michael says he hates going to the dentist, and Ryan P. comes ready with a camera to snap some paparazzi shots. Hey, it's cheesy, but you know it'll make a great story if he makes it to the end. Then there's Blake--the other dentist on the show. Yet when he meets Ashley, he doesn't even say anything! He has perfect teeth! He's hot! Why not work what you have? Constantine goes for the dentist-related gag by tying pink dental floss around Ashley's finger, though, and she loves it.
And they're off! The men start competing for Ashley's attention and, at the beginning, it's fairly civil. Then, when Blake is talking to Ashley, Ben appears behind them, spelling out a message on cue cards. Apparently he speaks fluent French because of his love of travel and his French father. Adorable! Two Americans from small francophile communities--it's definitely a sign.
Ashley eventually finds her way to Tim, the "liquor distributor," who is too drunk to speak. He can barely get out a word. You can tell she's trying, but it's not working for her. Cut to later, where Tim is asleep on one of the couches, under a blanket, where Ashley comes to find him. Since she knows she has 24 other quality guys inside, she rounds up a couple of them to take them out to a limo and send him home.
Finally, JP gets his shot to talk to Ashley, and he tells the story behind his nickname at work: "cupcake." But Ashley loves cupcakes, so she's fine with that. Then, it's time for Bentley. Bentley comes out with the single dad, "I'm ok with my wife now" card and that if there's ever a question, he'll be upfront with Ashley. So fake…but so hot…I really can't blame her for buying it.
However, Ryan P. runs away with the first impression rose, which makes Bentley unhappy. Apparently he's competitive, and he thought his sob story was enough to win it. Not this time, Bentley! Judging by the previews, though, he'll have plenty to say moving on in the season.
Finally, it's the rose ceremony, where six more guys (now that Tim is gone) are going to get the axe. Jeff gets the first rose (and everyone else gets a metaphorical kick to their nuts for making fun of him), followed by Constantine, Benjamin, Lucas, Stephen, Matt, Nick, Chris D., the other Ryan, Blake, Mickey, Ben the Francophile, West, William, JP, Ames and Bentley.
If it's easier, ones eliminated were creepy Anthony, Chris M., Big-Eyes Frank, Jon the Giant, Michael and Rob. The only one of those who stood out to me was Jon, and I was honestly sad to see him go. He was sad to go, too, as he wins the prize for first tears shed on the show (even before Ashley).
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.
(Photo courtesy of ABC)
Reach David by e-mail or follow him on Twitter (@DavidMcAlpine).
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