by Michael J. Lamp

"If You Can't Stand the Heat, Get off the Island"

The episode begins with Tiffany counting her blessings and Richard questioning her prolonged existence in the competition.

Padma surprises the cheftestants by showing up at their apartment. She tells them that she and their guest judge will be waiting for them on Ellis Island.

The chefs board a ferry and soon realize their Quickfire Challenge is to create a meal using only the ingredients found at the ferry's snack bar. They've got the time it takes to get from Brooklyn to Ellis Island to create their dishes. No real 'clock,' though.

Once the ferry arrives, Padma introduces the chefs to Dan Barber, this week's guest judge. The chefs do a decent job of talking up their glorified snack cart dishes.

Tiffany's basic nachos and Mike's heinous-looking cheese soup were Dan's least favorites. I wonder why? Richard's Vietnamese sandwiches and Antonia's grilled cheese with apples fare better, but Dan's winner is Carla with her orange salad infused with rosemary. Go, girl.

This week's Elimination Challenge is to create a dish based on their respective heritages. Ellis Island makes sense now, doesn't it?

The chefs receive packets with an extensive retelling of their family lineages, thanks to an expert genealogist that we will never meet. My guess is that person is genealogy.com - just sayin'.

The chefs are surprised with an appearance by members of their families. Lots of tears and hugs follow, before the chefs and their family members review each family history. Antonia and Isabella discover that they are actually cousins - related somewhere down the line. You can't write this stuff.

Mike honors his ancestry with potato gnocchi and braised pork, while Antonia opts for braised veal and fava bean risotto. The diners appear to love both Italian dishes.

Tiffany is up next with a braised short rib, stewed okra and ox tail marmalade. Her meal is also loved by all. Richard follows with his tribute to English/Irish cuisine. He offers up short ribs, potatoes and fried bone marrow. Guess what happens next? They rave about Richard's dish, of course.

Carla is the final chef to present her dish. She serves braised pork shoulder and grits with cheddar biscuits. To the surprise of no one, everyone loves Carla's dish, as well. Tough decisions ahead, friends.

Let's pause to point out Richard's ever-growing ego for a moment. Did he just make mention of all the favorites being eliminated and him being the 'only one left'? I guess with Dale gone, someone has to step up and be a pain in the ass.

Padma calls all five of the chefs to Judges' Table. One by one, each chef gets almost unanimous praise. The kudos clearly lifts the collective spirit of all the chefs, but someone still has to go home, right?

Antonia is named this week's victor. She scores a brand new Toyota Highlander and a spot in the finals, which will take place in the Bahamas. Cut to Richard's sore loser face. Tom tells Mike that he's in the finals, too. Cut to Richard's sore loser face again.

The cousins are dismissed, and we're down to three. Padma tells Richard to pack his knives - and prepare for the Bahamas. Ah, the classic fake-out.

After one more unnecessary commercial break, Padma invites both Carla and Tiffany to the Bahamas. Aw, shucks. It's a happy ending! Until next week...