by David McAlpine

Last night on The Bachelor, it was time for Brad to really squirm as he got up close and personal with the final four girls: Ashley, Emily, Chantal and Shawntel. Notice how I refuse to put their initials because I can make them sound different? Take note, Brad, it's tacky to refer to girls that you've been dating for weeks by their initial, especially if you've been dating both of them.

Of course, Brad says he has questions, especially for Chantal, who has proven time and time again that she's emotional. Very emotional. The good folks over at ABC even put together a nice montage reel of her crying and doing that wipe-the-corner-of-the-eye thing to prove their point. And it was a point well taken.

Chantal seems to have a nice, simple apartment, but her parents own a monster of a house. Literally, a mansion. There were statues everywhere, the place had ceilings that would rival a small chapel--it was evident that Chantal's parents hit it big.

But her dad was upfront about that: he was a self-made man, and he's proud of it. Brad feels like he can relate, and Chantal's dad gives him the A-OK to marry. Meanwhile, Chantal is crying to her mom. Didn't we just get to the point where Brad can't handle the superemotional Chantal anymore?

After Chantal was Ashley in her hometown of Madawaska, Maine, the northernmost town in the continental United States. With that title, however, comes some weird customs. Exhibit A: everyone speaks French (to which Brad replied, "Si," which is Spanish). Exhibit B: they eat fries covered in gravy and cheese (which Brad seemed to balk at but only pretend to like because of Emily). Exhibit C: they eat a lot of lobster (which Brad didn't seem to get that they had to kill to eat).

Ashley's family is much homelier than Chantal's and the house is smaller, too, but they seem like a warmer bunch. Ashley's dad is much less accommodating than Chantal's, making it clear that Ashley is going to finish dental school. This causes Brad to get skittish and wonder about his relationship with Ashley--which we all know is never a positive thing.

Before Shawntel's date, we get a peek of a local commercial for her family's funeral home, which she ends up taking Brad to during their date. She eventually gets him to lay down on the embalming table while she shows him how she preps a dead body, thoroughly creeping Brad out. Now, Shawntel makes an excellent point that she might as well see how comfortable Brad is with death now, since it's her job, but really? This?

Back to the whole dad angle, because I thought Ashley's dad was a touch aggressive. Shawntel's dad, however, had her life down to a T. He and his wife can't wait for Shawntel to take over the family business, grounding her in Chico for the rest of her life. Shawntel tries to prepare them for the worst, but the dad isn't having it, whipping out every guilt card he can, including the parental disappointment one.

"Now our plan's just been kind of destroyed," her dad said. Wow, he's laying it on thick and it's clearly opening Brad's eyes. Brad still gets her dad's permission to marry but damn, do you want to marry into that?

Finally it's the date we've all been waiting for: Emily plus one. Ricki is super happy to see Emily at home, but not so much to see Brad. Emily tries to explain it in kid talk, but Ricki still refuses and doesn't even want to look at Brad. I can't help but feel bad for the guy, either, since he clearly likes Emily and their entire relationship is hinging on this small child.

Eventually, Brad makes a breakthrough with a butterfly kite and some games of Candy Land and Ricki goes to bed upstairs. Downstairs, it's clear Emily wants a little action, but Brad doesn't want to do it. Brad's point: Ricki is upstairs, he just met her and he feel's weird. Counterpoint, Emily: that's how it's always going to be. Ouch, I didn't know that Emily could be such a go-getter in the relationship.

After her small smackdown, she forces a kiss on Brad and he seems slightly happier, but still disappointed about the whole child situation (which he's known about now for weeks).

There's no cocktail party, just a lot of discussion with Chris, blah, blah, blah. Chantal and Emily get roses first (are we surprised about this?), leaving it as Ashley vs. Shawntel. Ashley ends up getting the third rose, putting Shawntel on the outs, but she handles the end of the road much better than I thought she would. She's a little melancholy about Brad being the only guy who treated her well on dates, but overall she seems like she's accepted facts.

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.

(Photo courtesy of ABC)

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