by Michael J. Lamp

 

"Fashion Road Kill"

 

Welcome to Mean Girls: Top Chef Edition! This week's episode begins with talk of cliques. Zac, Yigit and Heather H. have combined their powers to form TEAM DIVA. Beware.

 

Sherry Yard, most well known to those in the culinary world as Wolfgang Puck's go-to pastry chef, is this week's guest judge.

 

Gail announces that the Quickfire Challenge is to create the most delicate of desserts: the soufflé. Most of the chefs go right to work on a classic chocolate soufflé, which prompts Zac to basically call them all wussies.

 

After Sherry and Gail get their fill of soufflés, Erica, Zac and Heather H. end up at the bottom of the group. Who's talking trash now, Zac?

 

It's better news for Morgan, Yigit and Danielle, as Sherry names their creations as her favorite.

 

Yigit comes out on top, courtesy of his sugary sweet - and super tall - chocolate soufflé.

 

You can almost immediately hear the screams of both joy and agony (depending on who you ask) when the Elimination Challenge is announced.

 

In honor of Fashion Week, the cheftestants must create edible fashion. Not naughty underwear; that show airs later, around 2AM, and on a different network. These chefs have to start with a pair of shoes and build their clothing/confection from there. They pull cookies (how adorable?) to determine the shoe selection order. In addition to creating a delectable outfit, the chefs must also make two, couture petit fours to serve to their guests.

 

There's a lot of silliness during this week's challenge. Lots of the chefs are giddy to be working with shoes and fashion, while others appear fairly terrified by the prospect of assembling clothing made from food. And some of them are using lettuce in lieu of chocolate or anything dessert-like. Uh...

 

In the middle of the challenge, Johnny pops in to drop a mega bombshell. The winner of this challenge will receive $20,000. That'll buy a lot of standing mixers.

 

Heather H. talks about her feelings for Morgan, which are less than flattering. I believe her exact word was ‘trashy.' She also thinks he degrades women, which we find out just as the camera cuts to him singing, "Damn, you's a sexy bitch.'" Aw, such a charmer.

 

Eric, the baker, is having some issues with his molding chocolate and basically every other part of his dress. This makes me sad, since he's one of my favorites. I think I'm drawn to him because of his lack of rudeness and refreshingly sane demeanor. Is that too much to ask for?

 

During the dress-made-of-sweets event, Zac is impressed that there are ‘real' fashion reporters and not just ‘bloggers' in attendance.

That's interesting. I can't wait to ask him more about that.

 

There are some beautiful creations on display, alongside some hot messes that are sort of, well, falling apart. It also appears that some of the chefs didn't put as much effort into their petit fours as they did with their dresses. And why is this a mistake, friends? Because the petite fours are what the guests actually eat.

 

The judges' favorites this week are Yigit, Morgan and Zac. The judges loved Yigit's cream-colored, floral-inspired dress, while Morgan's ‘little black dress' was also a huge hit. Zac's ‘burlesque warrior' rounds out the top three. His creation seemed to particularly please guest judge Sherry Yard.

 

Despite Zac's brazen approach, the winner of the challenge is Morgan, who will take home 20K bucks and a lot of bragging rights. Zac seems massively somewhat irritated that he was defeated by a straight man. It's Morgan's second consecutive elimination challenge win, and - if you look closely - I think you can actually see his head fill the room.

 

Things are not as super for Heather C., Eric and Danielle, as they are on the chopping block. Eric's muddled construction and misshapen cookies led to his demise. Heather C. and Danielle made their dresses out of vegetables and some non-edible objects, which - ya know - completely defeats the purpose of the challenge - and of keeping on Top Chef: Just DESSERTS.

 

Heather C. is going home...again. At least the other cheftestants actually seem sad to see her go this time.

 

 

Top Chef: Just Desserts airs Wednesdays at 10/9c on Bravo.

 

(Image courtesy of Bravo)

 

 

Follow Michael at twitter.com/mjlamp

 

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