by Michael J. Lamp

 

Congressman Aaron Schock (Republican, for the record) is with Padma in the Top Chef kitchen. As the female (and probably a few male) chefs continue to swoon, he'll be judging the Quickfire Challenge. You know, because being a politician makes you qualified to judge chefs. To help educate Bravo viewers about the importance of limiting lobbyist spending, the chefs must create a dish to serve to the Congressman - but the dish must fit on a toothpick.

 

After Padma and Aaron shove sticks down their throats for a while (it was seriously awkward to watch, like the sad beginnings of an eating disorder), the winners and losers are announced.

 

Alex and his 8,000 flavors were too much for tiny Aaron, Ed's umbrella-garnished toothpick was all looks and no taste and Kelly's was just a straight up ‘no.' And now she's whining, which is totally unbecoming, especially on her.

 

Kevin, Angelo and somehow Stephen (sorry, you know it's true) come out on top, but it's Angelo's cucumber/shrimp collabo that land him in The Winner's Circle with 20,000 extra bucks.

 

This week's Elimination Challenge, "The Power Lunch," takes the chefs to The Palm, the site of many a political, well yes, Power Lunch.  The chefs draw knives to determine the protein that will become the centerpiece of their dishes.

 

The judges start prepping and Amanda takes the meat off the bone of her Porterhouse, thus making it no longer a Porterhouse. Kelly thinks it's a poor move. Of course, Kelly was also just in the bottom three, so who's listening to her right now?

 

Alex is unsure of what to make, so Kenny and Andrea suggest peas. They mention Ed's peas. Ed's pea puree, in particular. Those of us paying attention during the commercials for this episode know that this will surely be addressed later. Meanwhile, Ed appears to be hitting on Tiffany a bit. Tiffany laughs it off. Probably because she knows her fiancé has a television.

 

The next day rolls around and Alex is suddenly dead set on making pee puree. Interesting. Meanwhile, Ed can't find his pea puree.

Let's review. Ed prepped pea puree. Now, that pea puree is gone. Alex didn't know what to make yesterday. Suddenly he's dripping pea puree next to his salmon. Am I missing something? This is obvious, right?

 

There are lots of politicians and journalists at the dinner this evening - along with the always-loveable chef Art Smith.

 

Overall, the judges seem pretty underwhelmed with the food. Tom is in the kitchen for this challenge, and - as per usual - he doesn't give the cheftestants any reason to be concerned, but then he tells his fellow judges how sloppy they were in the kitchen. Shady McShaderson.

 

Stephen holds a seminar in the waiting room (or stew room - whatever that room is called) about being in the bottom group time and time again. Everyone laughs. Fun.

 

The judges tell Alex, Tiffany and Ed that they created the challenge's best dishes.

 

Tiffany is crying and quite excited. She knew her fish was overcooked and didn't expect to make the top group. Ed is relieved after The Great Pea Puree Debacle of 2010 left him nearly pea-less. Art Smith raves about Alex's pea puree, causing both Tiffany's and Ed's eyes to involuntarily roll into the backs of their heads. The challenge winner is Alex. Ahh, shit!

 

Andrea, Kevin and Kelly (again) are in the bottom three. Kevin's tomato dish is overly spiced, to the point where Gail Simmons likened tasting it to being hit with bricks. That Gail - always the subtle one.

 

Andrea defends her swordfish by saying she doesn't like that kind of fish. Uh oh. That's pretty weak. Art Smith tells her he could taste the dislike in her dish. She doesn't seem thrilled to hear this.

 

Kelly's overly salty dish (and possibly personality?) has landed her here. She's tearing up and starting to freak out a little bit.

Andrea is headed home, which is not surprising, but it's pretty annoying. She seemed like a tough competitor. The three chefs are hugging and crying. Padma dismisses the trio rather abruptly, with a sour look on her face. Oh, Padma.

 

 

Top Chef: DC airs Wednesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.

 

(Image courtesy of Bravo)

 

 

Follow Michael at twitter.com/mjlamp

 

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