by Chandra Clewley

 

“Let Bygones Be Bygones”

 

Tonight’s episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County begins with Gretchen and Lynne walking their dogs. Lynne wants to bring up the fact that Gretchen took her daughter Alexa out shopping and was she "worried for her life or something" (This season Alexa has been rather vocal about her depression)? Gretchen defends herself of course, saying that the few times that she had met Alexa, Alexa had talked about how depressed she was. 

 

Lynne feels like she is Mama Bear and someone is messing with Baby Bear. Lynne keeps telling Gretchen to wait until she had kids, and that Gretchen still is a kid. She refers to the night that Tamra had the party where she got Gretchen “naked wasted” and how Lynne had tried to save her. Gretchen says she is just trying to help Alexa….aye yay yay. Finally, Gretchen and Slade invite Lynne and Frank over for dinner, to clear the air, after Gretchen tells Slade how frustrated she is with Lynne. Slade, he of much wisdom, thinks that Lynne plays the “babbling ding dong” while making snide remarks.  Snide remarks like “Alexa didn’t put herself all over the Internet naked.” And “It is hard for me to see you giving advice when your life isn’t going perfect.” 

 

When they come for dinner, Gretchen’s Chihuahua’s bark at Frank and Lynne and the funniest part of the show goes unrecognized when Gretchen yells “attack!” At dinner, Lynne and Frank seem to keep it dignified, but Lynne is having a hard time taking advice from Slade, who jumps on the bandwagon like a modern day Dr. Spock spewing “parents should be this” “Parents should be that” “parents just don’t understand” nonsense.  Even though he is rumored to be a deadbeat dad of a very sick son (and was arrested at Gretchen’s house for not paying child support-true story). Lynne calls him a poser, and says it is “none of his business”. Frank finally says “This is a bunch of bull, Alexa is a normal teenager” She is a normal teenager…who cries wolf. I’m just saying. At one point, I am watching the dinner and it IS unbelievable that two total NON-parents are trying to tell Lynne and Frank what’s up. They are lucky this show isn’t on MTV. They would be getting punched in the face.

 

Tamra calls Vicki and Vicki apologizes for Florida. Things have changed and Tamra is focused on the fact that she doesn’t want to divorce Simon. She heads over to Ryan’s to ask him to apologize to Simon. Ryan is still holding strong saying that he wants to cut ties with Simon and doesn’t want to apologize. Later, he goes to Tamra’s house to pick up his mail, and Simon happens to be there. Ryan finally apologizes to Simon, but claims it is just so he can come over to visit his mom. He also gets a Brand Management position for a supplement company, which could explain the photos I brought up in my last post…

 

Vicki is putting together a slumber party to make up for Florida. The girls all come over; although Alexis can’t stay because her nanny has the night off and if one of the babies poops they will have to sit in it until she gets back, since Jim doesn’t “do” diapers. Vicki has a surprise, which is psychic Dougall Fraser, who you may remember from our Exclusive Article. No one will shut up long enough for him to read them though; they all treat it like a joke and belittle him, except for Tamra. 

 

Sidebar of belittling:

 

Vicki: This is Doobie. 

Gretchen: Who names their kid Dougall? Dougall Google Snoogle Cougal, what is that name? 

Lynne: I have a psychic ability and I can tell that he is not psychic because I am so psychic.

Alexis: I am a firm Christian and I don’t believe in those kinds of careers.

Vicki: We are not ready to close yet. This is a fun game.

Lynne: He is full of Dougall.

 

Tamra pulls Dougall aside and asks him about Ryan. She is scared he won’t live long and Dougall assures her he will not die young, and suggests she pulls back because he is troubled and operates in his own extremes.

After the psychic leaves, the girls do Jello shots and change into black outfits and masks to TP (toilet paper) Jeanna’s house.

At the end the slumber party is a bit of a flop and no one stays the night. They must all have had poopie diapers at home…

 

Catch an all new episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County next Thursday night at 10 p.m. when Alexis goes gnarly on one of Gretchen’s friends for hitting on her non- changing poopie diapers, cigar smoking, you’re not allowed to go ANYWHERE without me, disrespecting, controlling, not-hot, wannabe gangsta mafioso husband Jim. (Although I DO think that some of that is *editing*)

 

Follow me on Twitter: Chandra

 

(Images courtesy of Bravo)

 

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