By Chandra Clewley

Move over Coto De Caza.  Franklin Lakes is moving in. On the season premier of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, we get an introduction to the five women that make up part of the Garden State’s crème de la crème. 

The Real Housewives of New Jersey begins by introducing us to Teresa Guidice, a New Jersey native who claims to have had “big hair and big nails” in her younger years. Teresa, mother of 3, is shopping at La Perla, with her girlfriends Dina Manzo and Caroline Manzo. Before Teresa will buy a new bikini, she wants to get her “new boobies” even though she claims that her husband, Joe (entrepreneur and owner of a construction company) is an “ass guy”. Together with her husband, Teresa has been building her dream home for the past 3 years. A shopping spree at a local furniture store to furnish her new home ensues. Hearing that the economy is “crashing” Teresa chooses to pay cash for her home shopping spree. Did I mention, it was a six-figure shopping spree?

Dina Manzo’s tagline seems to be “If you think I am a bitch then bring it on, but if you don’t know me, keep your mouth shut.” If Dina Manzo looks familiar, you may have seen her wedding to Tommy Manzo featured on VH1’s My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding. At the time, Dina was an interior designer and showcased her million dollar (plus!) wedding. Now, according to the season opener of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Dina has transitioned her interior design career into event coordinating. Dina keeps an office in The Brownstone, her husband Tommy and brother-in-law’s upscale catering facility in Paterson, New Jersey. Dina is the youngest of 11 siblings, and has 1 daughter, Lexi. 

Caroline Manzo calls herself a “throw back” and prides herself on her family coming first before her career. Happily married to Albert Manzo, co-owner of The Brownstone, and mother of three adult children, Albie (22), Lauren (20) and Christopher (18), Caroline calls son Christopher the “entrepreneur”. Both Christopher and Lauren work for their mother and father at The Brownstone, their family business, while Albie is in law school. Albie is the first to graduate college in the family. Caroline’s son Christopher has a dream, and that dream is to be the “face of strip clubs and car washes”. This seems to be fine with Caroline, as long as the strip club is tasteful. Caroline believes that street smarts get you farther than book smarts, in this life. Did I mention that not only are Caroline and Dina sisters, but they are married to brothers?

Las Vegas native Jacqueline Laurita is married to Dina and Caroline’s brother, Chris. According to Dina Manzo, “Jacqueline’s heart is as big as her boobies”. Jacqueline has a daughter (Ashley, 17) from a previous marriage and a son, (CJ, 6), from her current marriage.

Lastly, we are introduced to Danielle Staub, a 45 year old divorcee, who claims to have confidence because she “takes care of her body” but also admits that some people may find that she is “too much”. Among Danielle’s claims; she was engaged 19 times before saying yes to number 20, her ex-husband; and she was one of the first Black American Express card holders “before Madonna had hers”. Danielle is spiraling in a financial crisis due to her 2 year long divorce negotiation and is looking for the love of a very wealthy man.

In this episode, Teresa Guidice takes her eldest daughter, Gia (7) to a dance rehearsal but claims not to be a stage mom, although she is seeking an Acting or Modeling Agency to represent Gia.

Meanwhile, Danielle is getting ready for a date with a mystery man that she has been having phone sex with for the past 2 years. Danielle only knows that the man’s online name is “Gucci Model”. While she is getting ready for her blind date, Jacqueline Laurita shows up to talk her out of going on it. As reinforcement, Teresa Guidice shows up as well, while Jacqueline is asking “Where is this going to go?”

Jacqueline and Teresa decide to spy on Danielle’s blind date by arriving at Hoboken posh spot, Lua, before Danielle or “Gucci Model” show up. Danielle waits from 7:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. before admitting she has been stood up. She calls Jacqueline’s cell phone.  Teresa and Jacqueline sneak up and surprise Danielle by giving up their ruse. They all have a drink together at the bar.

Caroline Manzo throws a graduation party for her son Albie and we learn that her children are “indulged” (read: waited on hand and foot by their mother). The party is held at The Brownstone (natch!).

The episode wraps up with Dina at her favorite salon Chateau the Art of Beauty in Franklin Lakes, New Jersey. Dina is getting her hair done for a night out with the girls. She feels it is important to “always be your husband’s girlfriend, or they’ll go out and get a girlfriend.” Jacqueline shows up at Chateau to meet Dina and the other girls (2 of which are not in the cast).Jacqueline will be going out to New York City that evening because she was invited by Dina. Jacqueline finds Danielle sitting on the bench outside of the salon. Danielle is upset that she wasn’t invited to the girl’s night out, but Jacqueline is trying to ride neutral and lets Danielle know that Dina put the evening together. According to Dina, Danielle is starting rumors in their town. While speaking with Jacqueline, Danielle mentions that they better not be going to Cipriani, or she may be tempted to show up unannounced and uninvited.

Danielle goes into the salon to say hello to Dina and the other two girls that are getting ready to go out on the town. Dina virtually ignores her. There is obvious bad blood between the two women.

Instead of going to Cipriani, which Jacqueline has vetoed, the women end up at One Manhattan in the East Village. Dina makes a point of explaining that before Jacqueline and Danielle were friends, Jacqueline was not only her sister-in-law but her friend. Since Jacqueline has become friends with Danielle things have changed between them.

Danielle makes a point of saying that you should “know who your enemies are” in reference to Jacqueline’s relationship with Dina. Jacqueline remains neutral.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey is all new next week, and moves to their regular time on Bravo, Tuesday Nights 10/9 C!

(Image Courtesy of Bravo TV)

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