To my awesome friends, I'm leaving town today for New Years, and won't be able to post for a few days. So, I offer this, just a couple of days early: As the sun rose over the horizon on a beautiful January 1, 2012, a young man entered a towering skyrise. He looked far too young, and far, far too mischievous to have a desk here, but plopped into a cubicle, and tossed his feet onto the desk. The light on his phone was blinking, and he picked up to listen to this message: "Dear Murphy. As CEO of the Corporation of People who Need to get Stuff Done This Year, it has been my task to examine numerous complaints regarding your conduct. After due consideration of the offenses on record, I regret to tell you that I have decided to let you go. Please kindly take your law, and GTFO. Sincerely, Julia." Seemingly unfazed by this message...Murphy only snickered. 2012...was certain to be interesting. Haha! Here's hoping you have an awesome year!
It's the end of 2011, and I'm going to share with all of you an exercise I've been doing for years. At the end of each year, I look back on the last twelve months. What went right, what went wrong, what unexpected things arose? What goals did I reach, what do I still need to work on? And, what are my 2012 goals? This is a sampling of my assessment: Good: found employment as a psychic, found a new friend in my kitten, secured a position as sempai in my martial arts course. Bad: my family is still convinced I'm a satan-possessed schizophrenic. My car is finally dead...and now needs to be replaced. Great: I took huge leaps forward in my health and happiness. I learned to laugh at myself. I'm happier now than I've ever been. Unexpected: I ended up on a social networking site, and found a level of love and acceptance I didn't think the internet was capable of, and made amazing friends! (Sincerest thanks, to you all!) Needs work next year: More focused energies toward my performing arts dreams. And, I still need to focus on making close friends face to face. Realistic goals: test for nidan in martial arts. Get my psychic business booming. Make one appearance on television. Crazy goals: pull off a spot on BB on my first application. Get my parents to read one single book on psychic arts and spirit communication...at least get them to stop pleading with the local bishop for an exorcism! What I'm most grateful for: my drastically improved happiness, and my amazing new friends. For all of you, I wish a happy 2012, and all your dreams fulfilled.
Home! Haha, there's nothing like peace and quiet after a long family reunion. Here's how to know your holiday season has gone PERFECTLY: 1.) Six days before christmas, you realize you're not done shopping. 2.) The next couple of days involve an emergency vet visit, SIDS scare from the cousin, and a diabetic seizure from the sister. 3.) You spend 5+ hours in a military hospital ER, waiting for a tube of burn cream, because your grandmother has still not understood that you genuinely are too stupid to boil water. 4.) Your mother, with her defective cleaning OCD, has you spend all day polishing the same two leather couches, only realizing when you have to go home that nothing got done...cue shrieking. 5.) You're sent to your house to clean the family heirloom serving set...150+ pieces, formerly thought lost, discovered in a dingy closet. The mission: hand wash half an inch of grime off the set, then hit with silver cleaner for tarnish, then scrub and polish again. This is a great theory...if your kitchen sink emitted more than a pathetic dribble of water. And, 6.) While you're determinedly, simultaneously swiffering the kitchen floor, and tending the spiced yams, and babysitting a handful of the THIRTEEN new babies my family has added since the start of the year...you hear your mother...shouting at your sister about not hanging the expensive leather coats on wire hangers. ( "No wire hangers, EVER!!" < anyone familiar with that quote? ) Yep...another successful Christmas with my gigantic German/Polish family...certifiable insanity and all. Here's hoping your holiday was just a tiny shade SANER. Now...cleaning for the New Years party at my grandmother's house.
I had a witty grandma quote to share this morning. Life had other plans. This is the exact message I left on the voicemail of my veterinarian's phone at 4:15ish: "Hi, Carol. This is Julia. My number is (_____). My dimwit had another genius moment. She has cuts in her mouth, I think she's got to go in. I looked in my books...surprisingly, there isn't a first aid section for, "My idiot cat has contousions in her mouth from biting a decorative knife for reasons unknown." I gave her a few tablespoons of vanilla icecream to ice it. Give me a call." So, I took the aforementioned dimwit in, and my Christmas present was having the entire office laugh hysterically. My vet told me he couldn't really do anything, "except maybe stitch her mouth shut." I was told my moron would be fine, and they sent me home. Persephone is fine...the white lace table runner sustained fatal damage. And I'm sitting here wondering if anyone believes my tales of my adventures with the stupidest cat EVER. Have a fantastic day!
