by Jessica Blackwell

On this episode of Real Housewives' of New Jersey, I learned that not only is Melissa a former stripper, she's also a cheating wh*re! Well according to Kim D. - so I'll only take that for face value. 

Besides the whorish accusations, I was surprised to learn that Melissa actually has friends! Well, kind of. Melissa met with her "friends" Jan and Maria, who she admittedly sees less now that she's married, to tell them about her book deal. As she described the premise for her book, entitled Love, Italian Style: The Secret to My Hot and Happy Marriage, I noticed her "friends" eyes getting shifty, like they thought she was a joke. 

After Jan appeared at a dinner table with Teresa, Kim D., and Jennifer (the realtor trying to get the listing for Melissa's house) the reason for the shifty eyes  became perfectly clear - she's not really Melissa's friend. At that meeting, Jan admitted that she and Melissa aren't really friends anymore since Melissa moved on to bigger and better things. Uh, hello! You were just at a brunch table with this woman!  She proceeded to reveal that Melissa had an affair with her ex and even detailed the sex act that she took part in, with said ex. Teresa began to look really uncomfortable and admitted on camera that she heard about the rumor before and already confronted Melissa about it and it wasn't true. Since there are so many vicious lies said about she and her husband every day, Teresa knows what its like to have a lie or two circulate about her marriage. Translation: she doesn't want anyone revealing that her husband Joe is a dirty cheater, so she'll leave this one alone before it gets dirty. Besides she would never hurt her sister in law. 

Clearly, Teresa isn't the only one that Melissa needs to stay away from! She needs to learn to pick her "friends" better. And as for Teresa, if Kim D keeps trying to sabotage your sister in law, and involve you in it,  she's NOT your friend! When Jennifer called and asked Melissa to lunch, Melissa just assumed she wanted to talk real estate, but she actually wanted to let her know that Jan can't be trusted. Melissa was shocked to learn to learn the story - and why shouldn't she be? This woman was just at brunch with her saying that Teresa was crazy, and all of a sudden she's turning on her in front of Teresa! Jennifer went out of her way to make sure that Melissa knew Teresa wasn't responsible for any of it - Kim D. was. Despite "doing the right thing" Jennifer's intentions were less than admirable. She simply wanted to establish loyalty with Melissa so she would use her as a realtor - and she shamelessly admitted this to Teresa. Of course, this threw a wrench in whatever scheme Teresa had going and she was visibly upset. I think the plan was to have everyone make up at the retreat and then hit Melissa where it hurts again. So sad. 

Teresa also got caught talking crap about Jacqueline when Kathy went on an innocent shopping trip with Jacqueline that turned into an ugly phone confrontation between Jacqueline and Teresa. Teresa called Kathy on the phone to invite her on the retreat and she happened to be on speakerphone when she made a comments about how the situation with she and her brother was all because of Jacqueline. Not one to take a comment like that lying down, Jacqueline snatched the phone from Kathy and proceeded to argue with Teresa, who dared her to go on the retreat. Kathy made a good point - Jacqueline may need to go on this retreat because she is def not over Teresa. She starting to act two shades of crazy - not a good look when she's trying to convince everyone else that it's Teresa who needs help. 

Melissa got her chance to  tell Kim D. off when she was out with her husband and Kathy and Jacqueline and rain into the scar skeleton look alike. When confronted, Kim D. of course tried to play the innocent role and acted like these opportunities to trash Melissa just fall in her lap. Oh please! No matter who is at fault, the damage is done - this zen retreat that Teresa had planned is now going to be a sh*tfest - stay tuned for the drama to come! 

The Real Housewives of New Jersey airs Sundays at 8/9c

(Image courtesy of Bravo)