by Kylene Hamulak

 

As Episode 3 opens, the status of Holly and Apollo is - literally - in Limbo. As the remaining contestants wait to find out who will be returning to the house, some of them are also considering their options for strategizing. Kevin, Mike, and Robin discuss sticking together to make sure, if one of them ends up in Limbo, the others will do their best to get a weak competitor in there with them.

 

Meanwhile, the other players are just playing party games, and the topic is....Best Relationship and why it ended. Stephanie starts to tell her story and gets all...manic and weird, and I just assumed she was going to give some crazypants woman damned tale. Instead? She tells us about her husband who unexpectedly died. Wait, WHAT? What the hell kind of show is this? Is this strategy?

 

Maybe. Cause Robin starts telling us - randomly - about how she was almost murdered. Um, ok? And the players are all like, "Robin, this is not the time to compete with stories!" So then Robin gets pissed because what she MEANT to do was make Stephanie feel stronger, but Erica was like "it's not about YOU!" and a girl fight ensues about who is more self-absorbed.

 

Then we turn to Robin telling Mike that she's getting close to snapping, and I assume she means at Erica, but she sounds whack-o. And Mike thinks so too, so he runs to Kevin and is like, "Uhh...Kevin? She's crazy, and she doesn't get to make decisions." Then, for the entire night? We see Robin cleaning the house. ALL NIGHT.

 

The next morning, Andrea knows what's up. She thinks the players don't stand a chance against Stephanie's backstory, and she's explaining that at breakfast. I understand where she's coming from, but as sad as the story was, I don't think the majority of the audience will base votes on it after this week.

 

When Apollo and Holly come back up into the house, the viewers have voted for Holly to remain in the house, while Apollo is sent down to the depths of wherever that little tube thing goes. Holly make some obnoxious victory declaration, and we're back to discourse in the house.

 

The viewers have also voted for Erica and Jeffrey to move into the Enemies Room, which Erica thinks is funny since she and Jeffrey are like best friends in the house. Gene and Mike are moved into the Best Friends Room, at which time we cue "the Showmance" between Gene and Joy.

 

When the Disembodied Voice invites the players to meet their new captains (based on lowest number of votes), it comes down to Ashley and Robin. Shortly after that, we learn that viewers have voted for all the players to wear mittens for 24 hours. It sounds stupid, right? It is. But it creates unexpected drama when Andrea starts using her mittens to kill flies in the house, which apparently - according to Jeffrey - makes her a murderer. Because she's a Mormon, that's a problem.

 

So, just so we're clear, this isn't about the fly. It's about homosexuality. Killing the fly is just a segue, and Jeffrey confronts it head on. Andrea tries to explain her beliefs, and I'm not really sure why she even has the conversation or why her housemates - who she has gotten along with so far - are interrogating her about it. It's clear they're never going to agree on the topic, and it's just sort of uncomfortable.

 

When the players have a couple drinks, it turns out Gene and Joy may have some competition for The Showmance label, as Kevin and Erica are getting their flirt on. It's adorable, actually, when Kevin tells her she has to work out the next morning, and she asks him if she's fat. Kevin's reply? He tells her she's perfect. The next morning, however, we find out that the cuddle action we were teased with was a little weird (according to Erica) and she's not trying to get a boyfriend out of this. Kevin admits he molests people when he gets to drinking, so it seems like everyone is ok with the situation.

 

So then the teams are invited to the Arena, and even though they're all uniformed up already, I must've missed the actual picking of teams. The challenge has the teams guessing which task the viewers have chosen to have them bob for - apples in apple sauce, tea bags in tea, or fried chicken in gravy. The second part of it gives the opposing team the choice of who will be doing the bobbing. Team Robin guesses correctly that viewers voted for fried chicken in gravy, and Team Ashley picks Erica to do the bobbing. She looks positively grossed out by the thought of it

 

Next round is which type of salad the team has to mix with their feet - Team Ashley correctly guesses tuna salad, and Team Robin picks Gene to do the honors. And then it turns into a series of the stupidest challenges anyone could think up, and I'm wondering if a bunch of 12-year-old boys are running the show. None of the challenges are timed, and all of them are completed, but it doesn't matter - it all comes down to whether or not they guessed the challenge correctly.

 

By the end of the competition, the teams are tied 2-2 for the final challenge. Team Ashley picks correctly, which sends Robin and one of her teammates - Andrea, Jeffrey, Erica, Stephanie or Mike - to Limbo.

 

As the players begin doing their strategy thing and figuring out how to vote, Jeffrey declares war on Andrea. He tells his housemates that by not voting for Andrea, they're not voting for equality, and I personally think that's a little unfair. I respect what he's saying, but I must've missed the part where The Glass House became a political statement.

 

Meanwhile, the ladies have found Robin's pants. And written inside are random statements about poltergeists and the Kennedys and....well, who knows what else. So that's interesting.

 

The weirdness of this episode just continues when the Disembodied Voice tells the players that after a trying week, the house wants to reward them. I thought maybe they'd get some prize money or an awesome meal or something, but you know what they got?

 

Kenley and Kiptyn from ABC's The Bachelor. They're there to give them some advice and provide the Fanswers, which basically tells the players (secretly) that they want Holly gone, and they want to see more alliances being made.

 

The players go to cast their votes after Kevin and Erica have a conversation in which Erica gets pissed off because Kevin is voting for her. And as a side note, the signature gestures that the players use to vote are so cheesy, I have to laugh (even as I sit here trying to decide what mine would be). When they're all counted up, the votes - as expected - are tied between Erica and Andrea. Robin, the tiebreaker, chooses Erica to join her in Limbo.

 

As she enters the chamber to Limbo, Erica warns the house than if she returns, there are some people who have just awakened a sleeping giant, and "Crazy Aunt Robin" tells us to keep her in because she knows she's crazy.

 

Looks like things in the Glass House are about to get interesting!

 

 

The Glass House airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.

 

(Image courtesy of ABC)