by Kylene Hamulak

 

For the last time this season, welcome back to the ballroom! I'm sure there'll be joy, I'm sure there'll be tears, I'm sure there'll be plenty of skin and sequins - and that's just from Maks! It's not all sentimental though - don't forget, we've still got one last dance in this competition.

 

The show starts with our pros on the floor dancing to Pixie Lott's "All About Tonight," showing all the moves they'd never dare to try with the stars. We're transported to the club for a moment, and when the lights come up - gasp! - all of our eliminated stars have joined the pros! One by one, the teams come forward, and I'm reminded of how far we've come. From Martina to Maria...oh dear God, am I really getting emotional already? About Dancing With the Stars?!

 

As we recap the performances, there are no surprises. The dances were so good, there was very little anyone - judges, stars, or pros - could complain about. Well, except that the show was followed by a long night of rehearsals for our teams, as "The 24 Hour Challenge" meant they didn't learn anything about their final dance until the first show was over. The judges choose "the rootin' tootin' fig newton" Donald/Peta freestyle as the encore dance (Len's words, not mine). I only wish we could've gotten a medley of all three routines!

 

While the competitors get ready for their final round, we're treated to a performance by Sheri and her collection of Dancing men to "It's Raining Men." And it does, too! There are men coming from the ceiling! Does this happen in a real dance studio? Because I've been thinking of trying out a new hobby....

 

Martina and Tony and Jack and Anna take the floor next. I won't pretend Martina's been taking lessons since she was eliminated, but without the pressure of the competition, she seems to be looser and enjoying herself. There's no question that Jack, too, is having a good time, and regardless of whether or not he IS, Jack certainly THINKS he's a great dancer!

 

When Gavin gets his final bow, he's in a little boat being pulled by Nemo and Marlin and Bruce. Shout out to Disney/Pixar! As for the rest of the performance? Um...Karina is always great. And Gavin wears a hat like nobody's business.

My favorite eliminated pair dances next - Gladys and Tristan. I'm pretty sure they're making it up as they go along, but Gladys' smile and Tristan's....well, Tristan, make me not even care.

 

Jaleel - oh, excuse me, "J-White" - gets practically the entire cast of the show to dance a routine to the theme from Shaft. It's a paso doble, and it's going pretty good until he can't lift Kim.

 

The next encore comes from Melissa, performing with the dancing Chmerkovskiy brothers. Their trio performance was definitely a highlight of the season, and a good choice for tonight.

 

Roshon is back with a freestyle and his partner Chelsie. I'm pretty sure the only reason he joined the show was for this moment, as it showcases pretty much all the moves he couldn't use in the competition.

 

Kelly Clarkson gives us a special performance medley of "Dark Side" and "Stronger", looking great and sounding better. She's accompanied on the floor by dancing pros and lots of sparkles. (And also some cross-promotion shameless plugging of Duets, airing on Thursday nights on ABC.)

 

If you're keeping track, we're still due for one more performance before the competition resumes - Maria and Derek. They look great on the dance floor, and Tom and Brooke declare it a perfect routine again.

 

Want a sneak peek of the fall season of Dancing With the Stars? Too bad. All we know is that it'll be an all-star collection of finalists, champions, fan favorites, and controversial stars. And that we can visit abc.com to tell them who we want to see "in the ultimate competition." But back to business. Let's get to the finale of the finale.

 

Team: William and Cheryl
Dance: Salsa
The bittersweet last rehearsal is still full of smiles from this team. William tells us he's enjoyed every little moment of the season, while Cheryl calls him an inspiration. Their salsa is right in William's wheelhouse, and the pair gives a terrific performance. Judges said:
10 - Len wants to give William a gold medal for salsa and rhythm; he reminds William that he's had more 10s from Len than anyone in the final because "You deserve them."
10 - Bruno says "When it comes down to hot, saucy, sexy, spicy salsa, hips don't lie - nobody does it better than William!"
10 - Carrie Ann tells William he has true star quality, exclaiming, "Long live the Salsa King!"
Score=30

 

A perfect score and some words of encouragement from William's fans...which include his son. Who is even more adorable than William.

 

Team: Katherine and Mark
Dance: Jive
When Katherine and Mark enter their rehearsal room, they see posters of their dances lining the walls. And just as Katherine says she's gonna cry, I find myself getting teary too. I'm glad they're doing the jive because it makes EVERYONE happy. Judges said:
10 - Bruno calls Katherine the girl who has it all: "versatility, great technique, performance range.... a truly stunning dancer."
10 - Carrie Ann thanks Katherine and Mark for setting the bar so high for the season.
10 - Len tells Katherine she is the complete package.
Score=30

 

Team: Donald and Peta
Dance: Cha Cha
Donald's last rehearsal with Peta is, like all the others, intense with hard work. As exhausted as they are, they work well together...and get choked up when they leave the studio. STOP MAKING ME TEARY, DANCING WITH THE STARS! Donald takes his shirt off within the first three steps of their routine, and Peta is, of course, already half naked. So now they're both half naked. But they're wearing dancing shoes, and that's what counts - it's a great routine. (By the way, watching on a short delay, it was at this point in my viewing that SOMEONE spoiled the results for me. Sad way to end the season, folks. But I'll continue.) Judges said:
10 - Carrie Ann calls Donald a fierce competitor and "the one to beat!"
10 - Len compliments all three dancers, and says that, of all the great footballers they've had on the show, Donald is the best.
10 - Bruno says it was another massive hit and that Donald played it very smart - taking comments, improving, and giving surprising, inspired performances.
Score=30

 

While we wait for the votes to be tabulated (well, YOU can wait...I already know who won. Thanks Lindsay!), Gladys Knight sings "The Way We Were" as a montage of clips of William, Katherine and Donald's teams plays. Katherine's crying. Peta is crying. Maria and Melissa in the crowd are crying. Cheryl isn't crying, because she's standing next to William.

 

The final results are in. The final first couple to be eliminated is: William and Cheryl. His adorable son is crying over his dad's third place finish. Hope you're happy, America. You did this.

 

Wait, what am I saying - you made it to THIRD PLACE, William! Congratulations - at least the two remaining dancers are amazing, too!

So who is the mirror ball trophy going home with? The ballroom is tense as Donald and Peta and Katherine and Mark await the results. The champions are announced....

 

DONALD AND PETA!!

 

Everyone on the dance floor is happy - even Katherine and Mark, no hard feelings there - until Donald's baby girl (who is ALSO adorable) gets a little overwhelmed. It's a great celebration for everyone, but especially Donald and Peta, for her first Dancing With the Stars victory in just her second season.

 

Well danced, everyone - especially William, Katherine and Donald! It's been a great season of talented performers and memorable moments. Next season's All-Star competition begins in the fall - looking forward to it already!

 

 

(Image courtesy of ABC)