by Kylene Hamulak

 

Signed, sealed, delivered - it's time for the Motown Night results on Dancing With the Stars! The opening number is a medley of hits in a number choreographed by Louis van Amstel.

 

The recaps and results begin with William, Maria, Jaleel, and Melissa. William apparently isn't familiar with the term raunchy, Maria's apparently earned the nickname "Bones", Jaleel apparently coined the term "Bacon on the fryer!" and Maks apparently views success for Melissa as not sustaining a concussion. Jaleel and Kym are the first to be declared safe for the night, but Maria and Derek are told they're in jeopardy. After some rogue cheers, Tom reminds the crowd that they are IN JEOPARDY. If there's one thing I hate about reality show results, it's when the host gets tricky in his delivery and then acts like we're all idiots because we either misheard the result or because he uses, like, double negatives just to be confusing. Anyway, William and Cheryl are sent to safety as well, and there are boos when Melissa and Maks are told they, too, are still in jeopardy.

This week's AT&T Spotlight Dance features an orphaned ballerina from West Africa named Michaela. Her triumph is inspiring, as she was adopted into a loving American family and has developed into a world-class ballerina at American Ballet Theatre. Natasha Bedingfield performs "White Horses" as Michaela gracefully commands the dance floor.

 

When we return to the celebrity dancers, they're talking about how much harder the competition is than they expected. Jaleel mentions how taxing it is on the body, Roshon tells us that rehearsal has taken over from sleep, and Maria, lest we forget, reminds us that she broke ribs and fractured feet. Halfway through the competition, William notes that as hard as the first five weeks wear, the next five will be even harder, especially because (as Jaleel points out) they'll have to dance in multiple dances each week. They're all right, of course - it only gets tougher on their bodies going forward (I mean, I would assume. I can barely handle dancing for five minutes before I need a nap, never mind grueling rehearsals very five weeks!)

 

We're treated next to the Macy's Stars of Dance performance with a classical element to match next week's theme. It's sweeping and theatrical and - wait, why is that one flying? Is she in heaven? I think this is heaven, guys. It's pretty.

 

BoyzIIMen performs "One More Dance" next, accompanied on the dance floor by Anna and Dmitri. They're good, those Boyz. Brings me back to my middle school dance days. Shout out to all my Teen Center Dance partners!

 

Since it's been about a half hour since we got results, now seems as good a time as any to get back to the competition to discover the fates of Donald, Roshon, Katherine, and Gladys. We find out that Bruno gleefully exclaimed "HE NEARLY FELL OVER!" when Donald did, indeed, nearly fall over. The peanut gallery (aka, the celebs and dancers watching from the sidelines) heckled the judges as they criticized Roshon. Katherine calls Mark a drama queen - every week, she gives me yet another reason to like her! Gladys seems pretty sure she's going to be dance dueling (does this mean she reads my reviews and saw my prediction? Probably.) but still smiles at the thought. As the results come in, we learn that Katherine and Mark and Donald and Peta are safe, while Roshon and Chelsie and Gladys and Tristan are in jeopardy.

 

After a quick commercial break, Tom announces quickly that Melissa and Maks are safe, while Brooke breaks the news that Gladys and Tristan will be competing in the dance duel. (Sidenote: Tristan looks like an adorable hipster in those glasses.) Maria and Derek are granted their safety next, leaving Roshon and Gladys to duel it out.

 

This week's dance duel will be a jive, and both pairs began their rehearsals early in the morning. To her credit, Gladys does seem to pick up the steps for this one pretty well, but the energy is a lot higher with Roshon and Chelsie. Of course, when it comes to the judges, it's mostly nice words for everyone. Carrie Ann tells both teams she has so much respect for them and that this will be a tough choice. Len commends them all for handling the pressure, tells Gladys she dances from her heart, and says Roshon always comes out 100%. Bruno thinks Gladys is unique and special and tells Roshon he "sold it".

 

No matter how many times the judges tell us how tough it's going to be, a choice has got to be made. Carrie Ann chooses to save Gladys and Tristan, while both Len and Bruno go with Roshon and Chelsie.

 

That means that, here, the elimination half of Motown Week (which was apparently only Motown NIGHT), The Empress of Soul, Gladys Knight herself, will be leaving the competition. I'll miss her smile and the "Pip" steps she brought to the dance floor, but also? I'll miss her partner. A lot.

 

There she goes, folks - takin' the Midnight Train to Georgia. Toot toot.

William survived Latin Week, but Gladys was a Motown casualty. Can Katherine make Classical Week a showcase for perfect scores? Tune in next week to find out!

 

 

Dancing With The Stars airs Mondays at 8/7c and Tuesdays at 9/8c on ABC.

 

(Image courtesy of ABC)