by Kylene Hamulak

 

If you're a talent contest reality show, it's practically mandatory that you schedule a Motown Week at some point. For Dancing With the Stars, that week is this one. Personally, I'm excited for it and we waste no time in pulling out all the tricks. Smokey Robinson opens the show with Tracks of My Tears...and I swear he didn't blink once the entire time. That seems ironic somehow, but I don't have that long to think about it because Martha Reeves starts Dancing in the Streets, and the Temptations are on the stage telling me to Get Ready.

 

We're ready - let's get to the dancing!! Apparently this week's couples will each be dancing their individual routine before participating in some sort of dance marathon.

 

Team: Gladys and Tristan
Dance: Rhumba
Who better to kick off Motown Week than the Empress of Soul herself? She's dancing to My Girl with the Temptations on the stage, which is one of my absolute favorite songs, so I'm already on board for this routine. Gladys called in Bubba - her brother AND an original Pip - to show Tristan some Motown moves. Unfortunately, the deeper we get into the competition, the harder it will be to forgive Gladys' technique (or lack of?) in favor of her smile, but let's not talk about that on Motown Week. Judges said:
7 - Len tells her if he could judge with his heart, she'd be on the top of the leaderboard, so you know where this is going. He tells her she's not the best dancer, but she is the most charismatic and later interrupts Carrie Ann to announce that if he was home, he'd be on the phone voting for her.
7 - Bruno compliments her "undeniable" star quality, but he likes his rhumba a bit steamier, and gently calls her out for forgetting her steps.
7 - Carrie Ann says she would pay "so much money" to see her dance that dance again. I hope she dvr'd the show, because then she only has to pay her cable bill. However, despite how much she liked it, she noticed a lot of forgetful moments and starts critiquing mistakes before Len interrupts her.
Score=21

 

Team: Maria and Derek
Dance: Fox Trot
Maria's intro package is all about how she can come back from the passion of Latin week and keep it classy. Or...you know...not? While Maria and Derek trot around the dance floor, Martha serenades us with Jimmy Mack. The routine doesn't seem as in sync as this pair has been in previous weeks, but she looks beautiful in her silver gown and is still a strong dancer. (As we learn from Derek post-dance, Maria actually slipped on her dress, resulting in the misstep.) Judges said:
9 - Bruno calls the routine a "gleaming blend of sophistication" with elegance; he notes that she lost her footing but caught up brilliantly.
8 - Carrie Ann thinks the slip threw her off her choreography, but it was still excellent work.
9 - Len tells her the dance was "a joy to my eyes."
Score=26

 

Team: Roshon and Chelsie
Dance: Rhumba
As Chelsie talks about the rhumba, we learn that to Roshon, "sensual" = "huggy". The Disney Channel appreciates that. Then he sniffs Chelsie and speaks gibberish to her, and I have severe secondhand embarrassment even watching it. Poor Roshon - he knows he doesn't have muscles like Donald or the sensuality of William, but he tells us he has the dedication of Roshon. On the dance floor, Smokey is still not blinking, and I can't even watch their dance until he does because I'm so distracted. The routine seems to have a lot of tricks by Chelsie, but watching Roshon is a little uncomfortable.  Judges said:
7 - Carrie Ann in general thought the movements were over exaggerated, and she points out that during a drag turn, his foot came way off the ground.
8 - Len described the dance as clipped and jerky and believes it should be a little smoother; "too much syncopation."
8 - Bruno says that what Roshon lacks in size, he makes up for in fire, but he describes the movements as too "hip hop" for rhumba; still, a "great" performance.
Score=23

 

Team: Katherine and Mark
Dance: Samba
The biggest challenge for Katherine this week has been getting used to the "bounce" of the samba. Once she does, there's no stopping her as the Temptations perform. Her beehive hairdo puts the Snookie poof to shame and she and Mark give yet another solid performance.  Judges said:
9 - Len wants to nickname her "The Midwife." Why? Because she keeps delivering week after week.
10 - Bruno begins by exclaiming, "Oh baby baby, you can bounce!....The marriage of Brazil with Funky Town has never been more exhilarating!" (Question: Is Funky Town in Wales?)
10 - Carrie Ann notes that Katherine previously struggled with getting groovy, but let loose tonight; "that was amazing!"
Score=29

 

Team: Donald and Peta
Dance: Fox Trot
Donald expresses how disappointed he was to be "underscored" last week, so to motivate him, Peta brings in a cardboard cutout of Len and his 10 paddle. She's hoping that it'll get Donald to perfect his form, but since Cardboard Len is a lot quieter than Cranky Len, we'll see how much of an impact it has. This pair is accompanied by the Temptations on the dance floor, which Donald is also very excited about. He's singing throughout the dance, and Peta looks like a classic Barbie doll (you know, the kind your mom wouldn't let you take out of the box because they were just so fancy?), and the performance is terrific. Judges said:
9 - Bruno calls him a showman, noting that his performances get better and better.
9 - Carrie Ann says he was in his zone; she loved it all, "good job."
9 - Len: "I thought you were going to come out tonight and show me some fireworks...you didn't..." (pause dramatically for booing) "...you came out and exploded on this floor!"
Score=27

 

Team: Melissa and Maks
Dance: Viennese Waltz
Melissa is having a little bit of trouble in this week's rehearsals, and Maks seems pretty frustrated with her. I'm relatively sure if Maks ever tried to teach me to dance, he'd throw me out a window in about .4 seconds. On the bright side, this team maintains a pretty good sense of humor with each other - when Melissa doubts Maks' assertion that it could be worse, he explains, "You could have an ugly partner." Tough to argue with that. Smokey is back for the performance and still not blinking. SERIOUSLY. Are we sure he's not an animatronic? Anyway, the routine was well done, and a couple of times you could actually read the pride on Melissa's face. Judges said:
8 - Carrie Ann notes that Melissa has worked so hard and it's finally paying off; she sees artistry blossoming.
8 - Len commends her for the rotation, romance, and control; he thinks it lost a bit of energy near the end, but overall "wonderfully well."
8 - Bruno believes she's going in the right direction; "well done."
Score=24

 

Team: Jaleel and Kym
Dance: Cha Cha
After their appearance in last week's Dance Duel, Jaleel and Kym are willing to do anything to stay out of the bottom two. Kym is confident that a return to the cha cha - which was Jaleel's strongest performance - will help avoid that fate. They're joined by the Temptations on the dance floor, and Kym's dress is adorable. But the dancing, right - how was the dancing? Energetic, fun, and Jaleel smiled throughout. I'm pretty sure they feel good about it even before the judges start speaking. Judges said:
9 - Len tells Jaleel that, though he believed in week one that Jaleel was a contender then lost it somehow, "you're back!"
10 - Bruno calls the routine "the biggest sizzler of the season!"
10 - Carrie Ann notes, "You have to bring your A game every time - consider the A game brought!"
Score=29

 

Team: William and Cheryl
Dance: Rhumba
William's rehearsal is all about sensuality, same was Roshon's was. Except that William pronounces it "sens-wality" and he actually seems to know what it means. Their rehearsals are so steamy, the other teams evacuate. Tonight, Smokey Robinson still doesn't blink, but this is one time I don't blame him - who wants to miss even a second of this performance?  Judges said:
10 - Bruno declares the performance "absolutely utter flith"... and he loved every minute of it.
9 - Carrie Ann says thank you on behalf of all the women out there, but she doesn't think it was their best dance; she believes William is not just a pretty face but also a beautiful dancer, and she wants to see more out of him.
8 - Len notes that he is physically impressive and danced with confidence, but thought it was a little bit on the raunchy side and a tad hectic; he thought it was good, but he also wants to see more from him.
Score=27

 

With Round 1 of performances complete, Smokey sings Tears of a Clown as the teams prepare for the Motown Dance Marathon. Dancing the cha cha, the couples will all be on the dance floor until judges tap them out, and they will earn points based on where they place. In rehearsals for the marathon, the dancers have their own tactics. Donald, for example, wants to spin Peta and take out both William and Roshon. Mark is concerned that Katherine gets distracted easily, and Jaleel wants to drop marbles on the floor. Derek and Maria, of course, go straight for some PG-13 dance moves. The actual marathon is kind of a weird collection of random dances where you can almost see them trying to figure out what to do next.

 

1st Out (3 pts): Gladys and Tristan
2nd Out (4 pts): Maria and Derek
3rd Out (5 pts): Roshon and Chelsie
4th Out (6 pts): Melissa and Maks
5th Out (7 pts): Donald and Peta
6th Out (8 pts): Jaleel and Kym
7th Out (9 pts): William and Cheryl
WINNER (10 pts): Katherine and Mark

 

As Motown Night comes to an end, I should also mention that, throughout the night, a great group called Human Nature treated us to their own renditions of some classic Motown songs. Perhaps I'm like Katherine (easily distracted by music, pretty dresses, and unblinking Smokey), but I enjoyed this evening. I'd hate to see Gladys leave this week especially, but I won't be surprised if the duel comes down to her and Roshon tomorrow night - tune in to find out!

 

 

Don't miss the live results on Dancing With The Stars, Tuesday at 9/8c on ABC.

(Image courtesy of ABC)