by Kylene Hamulak

 

With two weeks of strong performances to lead us into the first elimination of Dancing with the Stars: Season 14, it'll be interesting to see which dancers won over the voters. Opening the show with a routine to Olly Murs' "Dance with Me Tonight" (which, by the way, I have declared my summer jam) the Pros and the DWTS Troupe did a great job showing us what it was supposed to look like.

In case you didn't read my recap of the performances (shame on you), we get a brief recap of last night's show, scores, and subtitles. The short version: Melissa had fun, there was lots of booing for Gladys' 5, and Tony confirmed what I wrote last night - Martina was trying.

 

Within seconds, Melissa and Maks are declared safe, followed quickly by Gladys and Tristan. No one is surprised when Martina and Tony are told they're in jeopardy, despite Martina's feigned shock. Taking a break from the tension, Matt Nathanson takes the stage with Sugarland to perform "Run," with Tristan and Peta providing the dance accompaniment. I'm glad Tristan was already promised safety for the week so I can enjoy this moment without holding my breath.

 

Next up, a visit with Roshon, Jaleel, and William. My notes include the following: Roshon wants to get Len to say "Good job, dawg" (wrong judge on the wrong show, kid), Jaleel's daughter would rather watch Dora (wait, Urkel has a DAUGHTER?), and Cheryl promised William that one day he'll have panties thrown at him. I predict that "one day" will come, like...next week. When they'll dance the salsa.

 

Still, even with all these guys having fun, someone's in jeopardy. Jaleel and Kim are the first to find out they're safe, and Brooke follows that news by awkwardly telling Roshon and Chelsie they're in jeopardy, which seems to confuse Roshon. William and Cheryl are safe, which, as Tom notes, avoids a riot.

 

The Stars then take a moment to tell us how much they don't want to go home in a PSA all about how no one wants to be the loser. Martina claims it's not - no way, no how - gonna be her. I'm not so sure, but ok, I'll play along.

 

This year's DWTS Troupe are showcased next, performing to Jessie J's "Domino." And at the end of that? Katie Couric is showcased clapping uncomfortably because she's too chicken to join the cast. Or maybe she was thinking she should be part of the Troupe instead?

 

Tom actually clears things up when we come back from commercial, letting us know that Katie keeps grabbing his butt. So she must've been planning that, which would explain the look on her face. Anyway, Tom tells us that if we want to see a selection of Stars and Pros with nothing better to do, you can check them out LIVE at the Tropicana in Las Vegas.

 

Next set of dancers ready for results? Katherine, Maria and Sherri. Katherine is surprised to be the front runner, Maria is surprised to have two broken ribs, and Sherri is just...surprised. It's not REALLY a surprise when all three of them are declared SAFE...til next week, at least.

Before we finish up this thing, we get another performance from Sugarland - "Find the Beat Again" - and a shameless plug for ABC's "Duets", which will premiere this summer (and include Jennifer Nettles).

 

The last group of dancers to find out their fate includes Jack, Donald, and Gavin. The things I noted for this recap: Jack was a little disappointed in his performance, Donald apparently has someone whose job it is to hold a tiny fan near his head, and, as it turns out, Karina seems to have a disorder where she yells out things like "HOT!" and "SEXY!" while dancing, though Gavin doesn't seem to mind. Donald and Peta are the first to find out they'll be coming back next week, while Gavin and Karina are told they're in jeopardy. And since I can do simple math, and two other couples are already in jeopardy, that means Jack and Anna are safe.

 

As we come back from commercial to find out the fates of Martina, Roshon, and Gavin, we learn that Roshon and Chelsie are safe. Martina and Tony and Gavin and Karina are declared the bottom two for the week. Martina is "hoping for next week", while Gavin would like to "improve about 5 points out of 10" if he returns. So who's going home this week?

 

Martina and Tony.

 

I don't think anyone can pretend to be surprised with this one. I mean, I'm notoriously awful at predicting these things, and even I got it right. (Again, if you didn't read my recap, SHAME ON YOU - you missed an unprecedented event!) Tune in next week for an emotional night of very personal storytelling from the dancers "that relates to a memorable event in the lives of our stars" - no, really, that's next week's theme.

 

See ya there Monday night!

 

 

Dancing With The Stars airs Mondays at 8/7c and Tuesdays at 9/8c on ABC.

 

(Image courtesy of ABC)