by David McAlpine

Last week on The Bachelorette, the guys and Ali started their trip around the world starting with New York City. Kasey got denied a rose on his one-on-one date but was given a second chance, leaving him to go get a tattoo on his wrist of a heart and a shield for Ali. He never got the chance to show it to her, but he was given another week, anyway, as Ali sent Jesse and Jonathan home from their quest for love.

 

This week, the group is headed off to Iceland, the land of, well, ice--and hopefully love, according to Ali. At this point, she keeps talking about how many wonderful guys she has and how it's going to be so hard to pick. Hm, I'm going to guess she's probably not the most popular woman among other women these days in America.

 

For the first one-on-one date, it's not assigned to anyone but, instead, it's a competition. Dun dun dun! You can see the daggers in every guy's eyes because they know that getting this date actually means something, it's not an arbitrary pick by Ali or the producers to flush you out as a character or weed you out of the competition.

 

But it's not just any competition, it's a poetry face-off! Let's be honest here, we saw some of these guys sing and dance last week, so we know creativity is not a strong point of many here. And really, it showed. Oh, it showed. Chris N., who I don't think we've ever heard speak until now (ever since the first episode) finally got a starring role as the biggest flop of a poem because he forgot his lines. It was kind of sad to see him blossom and fail at the same time.

 

Sidenote: There has been a solid mystery surrounding why Chris N. is still here and we've barely seen any of him, so I decided to go back to the first episode and see who the hell this guy was--he's the magic rose guy! Now it's even more disappointing that he's seemingly mute.

 

Per usual, Frank does exceedingly well (I'm not biased or anything, you know), but of course he does, because he's a writer. Since he does it for a profession, though, of course Ali isn't going to take the best poem and reward the writer with it. No, instead she picks Kirk and his "root-beer eyes" creation. Couldn't you be a little more classy than that, Ali?

 

Kirk and Ali are off to a nearby Icelandic store where they go shopping for matching sweaters…which I guess is the new thing for couples to do. They even get to take them to a candlelit dinner, which turned serious fast. Ali is freaking out to the camera about the fact that Kirk has never been in a long-term relationship (he's only hunky, cute and one of the most caring guys here), while Kirk is busy trying to woo her. Surprise, surprise, he gets the rose anyway.

 

But now to the good stuff: the 2-on-1 date with Kasey and Justin. It's super good versus super evil and the opportunity to escalate is, well, super. We know it's really on when Justin takes his cast off, because he's determined to win over Ali, while Kasey just sputters talking about how much he dislikes Justin. As creepy as he is, I'm rooting for Kasey. Maybe I like underdogs?

 

Fast forward to the best part of the episode: the tattoo reveal. Kasey winds up with a quick story, and then pulls back his huge coat in the snow to show Ali and she...is enthused. Oh, swing and a miss, Kasey! The single "that's great!" that comes out of Ali's mouth in a "I don't know what to say to this" way is all we need to hear, especially when she starts telling Kasey that he shouldn't change. She lowers the blow shortly thereafter, picking Justin over Kasey, sending our fairweather-voiced friend home.

 

After that drama, you'd think the rose ceremony would be even better, right? Nope, way wrong. Long story short: Chris N. (who said approximately 8 things this entire season) didn't get a rose. Anti-climactic? Yes. But the tension is left to build and boil over for the next episode.

 

 

Tune in next Monday at 8/7c to see who Ali gives a rose to next only on ABC's The Bachelorette!

 

(Image courtesy of ABC)

 

Follow David on Twitter at twitter.com/DavidMcAlpine

 

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