by Chandra Clewley

On this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa brings home baby Audriana. It is Gia’s 9th birthday too, so she has a bunch of little girls over to go in a limo, get their nails done and have a little party. 

Caroline’s family sticks together and Christopher’s best friend is Kim G’s son. Caroline lets Kim G’s son John G know that Kim G had tried to have lunch with her but she turned her down, because she is friends with Danielle. Later, Albie and Lauren have lunch with Jacqueline’s daughter Ashley and her boyfriend Derek, who you would think is geriatric according to the family, even though he is only 23.  Everyone seems to think Ashley is making a mistake, except for Ashley. Jacqueline has lunch with Derek’s mom to check her out and make sure that Derek was an okay guy. They end up getting tanked on red wine and getting along.

Danielle meets Kim G for drinks and asks her to go to the Brownstone for the charity event. Kim G agrees to go. At the same time, Dina visits Teresa and tells her what a sociopath Danielle is and how it is such a big deal that she is going to the Brownstone.

On the night of the event at the Brownstone for the poor cancer family that is struggling with baby Emanuel’s cancer plight, it turns out it is a gun club event and everyone is dressed casually. Kim G goes to Danielle’s house to meet for the event and while there, Danny the ex-felon shows up to escort the lucky ladies!

Danielle asks Kim G to fasten together Dina’s skin that she is wearing as a dress, as she drones on about the Manzo’s. “Manzo, Manzo, Manzo, Manzo….” Danny and Kim G nod like bobbleheads. Danny says something like, “I can’t even get drunk yet since I am still on parole.” And Kim G smiles at him, while on the inside her soul shatters into a thousand little pieces as she realizes that she is going to a benefit in her town with Belphegor and Baalberith.  

When they arrive in their (rented) Bentley, Christopher Manzo tries to stay scarce but Belphegor confronts him and says “Manzo, Manzo, Manzo Manzo…” to which he replies, “say wha?” Kim G, in a dubious cry for help, flags Christopher down and tries to mouth “save me” before Belphegor can overhear. Alas, she is too late and a wiley group of more demons (or Hell’s Angels, rather) encircle her and Belphegor as they enter the Brownstone. Danielle, I mean, Belphegor, see’s the poor family who are there for the charity event. The mother of the girl looks sad, and tired. The father is just holding it together. And Danielle says to them: “All things will be better. Manzo, Manzo, Manzo…” 

Meanwhile, Baalberith, angry that he can’t find a nip of whiskey anywhere to violate his parole with, starts to foam at the mouth as they enter.  Of course, there is no table for the 25 unexpected,  un-paid-for guests that Danielle has brought with her to the CHARITY event to shake down the other guests, threaten little children, and intimidate the wait staff that is just trying to do their F-ING job. The waiters hustle to get a table together for them, but that doesn’t fly with Danielle, who is SO HAPPY that the Manzo’s have “slighted” her in front of a bunch of cancer patients and charitable people that are there for a reason other than the Danielle-show.  

Danielle goes up to the cancer family and says “Manzo, Manzo, Manzo…” and then Danny and the Hell’s Angels decide to leave the party…oh I mean…charity event because there are no tables. Danny thinks this is “f#$&ing ridiculous” that they don’t have tables…ummm….because he paid to be there? I think no.

Kim G hands the cancer family a note that says “Save me!!!” before she leaves. Oh, maybe that was a check? Of course, Danielle couldn’t be bothered to “Pay” for anything…so no check from her. Danielle goes outside to wait for the (rented) bentley and says "Manzo, Manzo, Manzo" as the bobbleheads bob.

Catch an all new Real Housewives of New Jersey next Monday night at 10/9 c on Bravo.

(Image courtesy of Bravo)

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