by David McAlpine

Last week on the premiere, the oh-so-glorious return of everyone's guilty summer pleasure, The Bachelorette, Ali Fedotowsky, who we last saw walking away from Jake Pavelka, walked back into ABC's attempt at matchmaking with 25 new suitors. It was a motley crew of energetic guys, guys who were way over the top, and even one "Shooter"…I'll let you read the recap of last week to see what he was about.

Last night, the field narrowed from 17 to 14 as Ali started a little of the extensive travel that ABC has promised us on this year's "Around the World" edition of The Bachelorette.

First up was Frank's individual date. It's a sign, right? I'm telling you all, Frank may be "annoying" or "unsuccessful" but the man is on a mission--and it's going to happen. He and Ali take a ride up in Los Angeles in a vintage convertible only to have it break down. Well, "break down." You know what I'm saying, there really was little room to guess that that actually happened.

Anyway, Frank charmed Ali much more by toning it down a little bit (which, admittedly he could do all the time) and baring his soul. And Ali ate it up. All of a sudden she's up next to him laughing, having a good time--score for Frank!

After hitting Hollywood Boulevard and getting mobbed by tourists and the paparazzi (like I'm sure they realized who Ali was right away), they get to go right up to the Hollywood sign (which is normally guarded like a high-security prison) and watch the sun set over the Hollywood Hills. The topic of conversation: his trip to Paris. Frank says it helped him discover how important life and family are, and you could see the guilt pouring out of Ali's eyes. Response: the first kiss of the season! Did I pick a winner or what?

When the car was "fixed," the two headed up into the Hollywood Hills for yet another picnic, looking over at the lights of the city and, as we could have all guessed by now, the chance to give a rose to Frank.

Back at the house, the heat turned quickly from the Craig R./Justin battle (you know, "rated I don't believe a word you say" guy) to the fight between Craig M. and Jonathan. Really, Jonathan is making a big stink out of everything to the camera, while Craig sees he doesn't like him and is picking on him incessantly.

For the group date, 12 guys (at this stage in the game, I still couldn't tell you all 12 who went) go with Ali to a house in Malibu to shoot a sexy calendar. Funny thing is, once Ali's with her one guy, she'll have this sexy calendar of her with 12 other guys and they can all look back on it and think about all the stuff she did with them. Memories!

Long story short, Jonathan makes a huge stink about getting a Speedo to put on because his junk is small, then he bitched to the camera about Craig M. and kept threatening to hit him because he's a brown belt. Sorry, nothing but black belt means anything substantial to me, but good for you?

With everyone baring it all, it was definitely time for some taunts, and I've concluded that I think this is the cattiest season of Bachelors we've seen yet. Seriously, they all look fantastic and you've got comments here about "extra room" in people's trunks and how people look--totally unnecessary. The best part was Craig's outfit: shirtless with a sweater draped over his shoulders, bright blue pants and a cigar. I'm talking about a shot he'll cherish himself for a lifetime.

Just when you thought it was over, Ty pulls out his guitar, then drops the divorce news on Ali during some one-on-one time. At least he knows how to butter someone up before he drops a bomb on them. Meanwhile, Jonathan makes an effort to tell Ali how "dangerous" (to who, exactly?) Craig M. is, more news that she takes fairly well. So Jonathan got a thank you, Ty ended up getting the rose for the date and, judging by the way Ali was talking at the end, she got pretty smashed.

The second private date was for Jesse, the "peculiar" man. He hops on a private plane with Ali (it sounds like he's never really been on planes and she's hates flying--fantastic date idea) and they travel off to Vegas for a wonderful VIP date including a Ferrari, a shut down pool and a penthouse nightclub.

All Ali could talk about was how hot he was. When he was shirtless at the pool eating oysters, when she was putting him in a suit…you could tell her eyes were about to fall out of her head. Then she finally got over what Jake didn't with Vienna: she realizes he's a nice guy, but is he rose material? And not necessarily because he's smoking hot. Her conclusion: absolutely, giving him the third rose of the night.

Meanwhile, the Craig M./Jonathan feud starts to escalate when Craig M. starts putting on Jonathan's clothes and Jonathan keeps saying that he doesn't want to hit anybody. The only thing that breaks this tension is when Frank interrupts Kasey to tell Ali how much he missed her…then gives her a nice kiss. Another thing we learned: Roberto was drafted in the MLB and he can teach Ali how to do a knuckleball. Somehow I have a feeling he's running out of these "ace in the hole"s.

Back to Craig M/Jonathangate: Ali confronts Craig and he gets incredibly defense. She keeps calling him out (noting that he never looks at her is not very affectionate towards her) and he really has no defense. She leaves the meeting with the conclusion that one-on-one time might fix this, while he storms back in and demands to know who said. Jonathan completely wimps out by refusing to admit that he said anything, because it seems like in his confessionals, he's trying to man up, but in real life he shrinks down. No good, no good.

Surprisingly enough, it came down to Craig M. and Jonathan for the final rose (Tyler V. and Chris H. were already screwed). Knowing this show and knowing ABC, I thought Jonathan was a goner for sure, because they definitely need a villain. They need someone to ruthlessly break Ali's heart! But instead, Craig M. is cast aside and Jonathan gets the rose, raising two important questions in my mind: how much longer is Jonathan going to last and what guy is hiding something worse than what Craig M. could have ever offered?

Tune in next Monday at 9/8c to see which guys are cut next in Ali's quest for love only on ABC's The Bachelorette!

(Photo courtesy of ABC)

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