by Vin Convertito

 

There is quite the variety of problems as four couples share their woes last night on The Marriage Ref. And the panel assembled to help bring balance to these strained relationships includes Cedric the Entertainer, Martha Stewart and Jason Alexander. Making the final decision, however, is the marriage ref himself, Tom Papa.

 

The Issue: Los Angeles or Amish Country?

Pat and Mimi, married 35 years, are looking forward to retirement, but in two completely different directions. Pat sees the two of them relaxing in an Amish community not too far from their Indiana home. But Mimi wants to make LA their retirement village. When Pat reminds his lovely bride of the pollution in LA, Mimi counters that, “you wear sunglasses, you don’t even know it’s polluted!” Plus she claims to be “delicate” and incompatible with the Amish winters that would lie ahead.

 

While Martha Stewart recognizes Mimi as an “adventurous soul,” Cedric fears Mimi will leave Pat for the likes of Abe Bogota should she make her way to LA. Jason Alexander knows that the answer to their quandary needs only a little thought- who will make the most fuss should they not get their way?! With that said, it is clear that Mimi needs to be pacified or Pat will be getting hell for years to come! 

 

And so the Marriage Ref does what needs to be done; he sides with Mimi and gives Pat 35 more years to look forward with his forever-happy wife. Good bye, Amish dream world! 
 
The Issue: Thou Shall Not Steal

Pam and Sam Cullen are butting heads over hotel help-your-self etiquette. Apparently Sam thinks it’s OK to “take” as much as he can from all of the hotels his job has him staying in. On the other side of the coin, Pam is embarrassed and confused by his strange obsession. So, should Sam quit the business of taking shampoos, soaps and shower caps or can his thrifty ways continue to save the family some money?!

 

While Martha thinks it is OK to take a few shower caps from a hotel, Cedric confesses to his habit of leaving with the bathrobes and jokes that sometimes he’ll even grab a duvet! Jason laughs, “This is my mother’s definition of ‘not good for the Jews!’” Jason wants to see Sam sharing his treasure troves in the likeness of a modern day Robin Hood. After all, there are many in need that could benefit from Sam’s ridiculous shampoo bottle collection and Jason jests, “if you need IKEA furniture to store the stuff you steal, you’re bad!”

 

On that note, The Marriage Ref decided in favor of the husband with the following concession; Sam needs to share his riches with the less fortunate. He has too much shampoo for one family; he has, instead, a whole hotel’s amount! Tom was nice enough to let Pam know she married a “giant nervous squirrel” and she needs to deal with it because people like squirrels!   

 

The Issue: Outside Interests

Naveen and Shan are in disagreement. Shan thinks Naveen is spending too much time away from home in favor of his hobby; badminton. He spends about 8 hours a week participating in what he calls, “the world’s best non-contact sport.” Naveen decides to argue that when he married a Chinese woman he assumed she would be OK with this because “Chinese people love badminton.” The only more awkward thing he said involved calling her a “Chinese torture machine” on national television.

 

All three panelists favored the husband believing that having a hobby is a part of having a healthy marriage. Jason pin points the wife’s problem to be that she has no hobby and worse yet, she seems to do nothing according to the short video of the couple. He also adds that it makes sense that both Martha and Cedric have a certain familiarity with badminton because “all non-Jews play badminton.”

 

A unanimous panel makes the Ref’s decision simple; Badminton practice shall continue for Naveen who will also continue to feed the wife’s fish, cook dinner, and walk the dogs!
 
The Issue: Backing Up the Back-up Singer

Kelvin and Kathy Hawkins need help deciding if one of them will be going on a 6 month tour with an unsigned rap artist. The one wanting to spread some wings is Kelvin, a passionate back-up singer with the opportunity of his lifetime. But Kathy thinks he should be staying home and not leaving her alone. So will the panel help Kelvin follow his dreams or will they tell him he is foolish to hit the road for a pretty small shot at the big-time.

 

Once again, the panel unanimously sides with the husband. The logic is that it is wrong to stop a loved one from following their dreams. Kathy would be denying her husband the chance to pursue a music career and risks having him resent her forever. Although Martha does not recognize this adventure as a real gig, she wants Kelvin to give it a shot. Cedric just wants to make sure that Kelvin is going to behave on the tour!

 

The Ref informs Kelvin that he has the green light to go, but he needs to be ready for some companionship from Kathy; she is either going for the 6 months or she is going to be popping in every so often to make sure things are kosher! That one was for you, Jason Alexander, who reminds us that he is as Jewish as the couples are at odds! 

 

 

The Marriage Ref airs Thursday nights at 10/9c on NBC.

 

(Image courtesy of NBC)

 

 

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