by Michael J. Lamp

Last night, on Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti introduces us to a bi-sexual and a lover of all things Bible. It's worth pointing out that those descriptors are for two people, two very different people.

 

Tricia is newly bisexual, but it doesn't take long to discover that she's not really bisexual, not yet anyway. She's open to the idea of woman. Patti is skeptical, naturally, and says she needs to meet her to figure her out.

 

Trevor, meanwhile, is not bisexual. (...that we know of.) He's a very religious farmer, and that's all we know. Destin won't show Patti Trevor's video. Um, that's a bad sign. Patti, very reluctantly, agrees to meet with him.

 

Patti meets Trevor and immediately pokes fun at him. He's never eaten sushi. Oh and he's never met a black woman. Yes, you read that right. Trevor tells Patti that his celebrity crush is Carrie Prejean. Ew. Just ew. It's clear he wants a super religious, super conservative girl. It sounds like she should also be dumb.

 

Upon meeting Tricia, Patti immediately digs a little deeper, trying to find out why she's looking to explore both women and men. It's not long before we find out that Tricia caught her ex-husband in the throws of an affair. Ouch. Bring on the shrink. Seriously, Patti brings in Dr. Nicki, a therapist. The therapist's main job, it appears, is to decide whether or not Tricia actually has an interest in women, and if Patti should invite women to the mixer. Tricia wins the therapist over, assuring that it'll be girls, girls, girls at the big mixer.

 

At the recruiting session, there are guys who like girls, girls who like girls, ‘chap stick' lesbians, ‘pan'sexuals, that are attracted to souls and ‘flippers.' My head is still spinning.

 

The day of the mixer finally arrives, and it's not long before it becomes obvious that Tricia is not going to be going on a date with any of the men. Trevor, meanwhile, meets his first black female. It feels ridiculous to even type that. The shocking thing is, it's obviously that he feels an attraction to her. Unfortunately, though, his less-than-diverse background gets the better (or worse) of him, and he picks a real winner in Heidi. By winner, I mean a not that smart blonde girl. They're what this show does best!

 

Tricia wins the prize for really going for it when she picks Tyler, the aforementioned ‘flipper'. Time for a lesson, kiddies. Apparently, a ‘flipper' is a lesbian that enjoys "flipping" straight women. And now you know. Let's see if she effectively flips Tricia!

 

Time for the big dates! Trevor takes ditsy Heidi to a flower farm, courtesy of Patti's friend (owner of 1-800-Flowers). Convenient. The date interests me not at all, because it's mostly boring conversation between two people that seem pretty boring. At least they seem to enjoy each other. Trevor ends the date by offering to fly Heidi out to see him on his farm. Woah. Dude moves fast. Seemingly not smart Heidi seems into it, though.

 

Tricia takes Tyler skating. After really going after Tricia at the mixer, Tyler seems pretty closed off here. In fact, watching her lazily skate around is kind of pathetic. When Tricia gets a free second, she calls Patti to tell her things aren't going well. Patti tells her to stick it out, and she does. Things seem to get better over dinner when Tyler opens up about her past with women. Tricia is interested, but Tyler seems unsure of how far Tricia is really willing to go. They end the date as friends. Sad.

 

Patti checks in with Heidi and Trevor and finds out how well the two kiddies got along at the flower patch. We find out that the pair have been "talking and texting" since their date, and that Trevor is looking forward to Heidi's visit. Hmm... I don't think there's a future here, after all. You know she would've already visited by now if that was going to happen.

 

Patti is disappointed to hear from Tyler that the romantic connection between she and Tricia ended with the mini date. Then, when Tricia visits Patti, we discover why that is. Turns out (as it appeared all along) that Tricia isn't really into the ladies, after all.

 

Apparently, Tricia and Tyler are still friends, while Tricia continues searching for her "Prince Charming."

 

Millionaire Matchmaker airs Tuesdays at 10/9c on Bravo.

 

(Image courtesy of Bravo)

 

 

Follow Michael at twitter.com/mjlamp

 

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