by David McAlpine

Last time on The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love, Jake started a slaughterhouse round of eliminations. Ladies dropped left and right, flowers were burned, and yet the villainous Vienna survived them all, earning the last rose of the night (much to the dismay of everyone else in the house.

The RV road trip from hell ends this week for the ladies, but they're still out of the City of Angels. They arrive in San Francisco at a swanky hotel and, for some reason, Jake has become the host of this episode? Was Chris Harrison sick? I'd really like him back, honestly.

This week, there's going to be one 2-on-1 date, one single date and one group date. Am I secretly hoping for another twisty, double-elimination, rose burning fiesta? Of course. Tenley doesn't have to worry about competing, though, because she gets the 1-on-1 date with Jake. The other girls look pissed, which is understandable, but I don't know if any of them can have external hate towards Tenley--she's just too nice! Apparently Jake wants to see what's under her "Minnie Mouse exterior."

Cue Corrie with the 2-on-1 date card, which she says is address to Ali and Vienna. For a second, everything goes quiet. It seems like we're gearing up for the most epic moment of the Bachelor ever and that every single ABC producer has been listening to several million viewers' silent prayers. Then she says she's kidding and that it's really to Gia and Vienna--sad. I'm going to go out on a limb on this one and say that Gia's getting steamrolled.

Of course, Vienna is upset that Ali completely freaks out over the idea that they go on a double date together. The two get into an intense fight fit for primetime television and only solidify the hate that each has for the other.

While this is all happening, Jake and Tenley can't seem to get enough of San Francisco. It's only at the top of Colt Tower that Jake drops the bomb and asks Tenley about which mistakes she made in her marriage that she wouldn't make again. Surprisingly, she gives him a straight up answer: she took her man for granted and she wouldn't do it again.

The next day, there a knock at the door of the suite and in comes a trunk full of clothing for Gia and Vienna. Gia seems completely determined to knock Vienna out, not only because her status in the game depends on it, but because she's be the ultimate heroine. Unfortunately, I just don't think she has the ability to do it, Vienna's death grip is just too strong. And Vienna gives her plenty of room to work with: Jake is more excited to see Gia and all Vienna can talk about is how mean everyone is to her.

And yet Gia shows the enthusiasm of a dead fish, her glittering personality is all but dead. She even turns to whining about all the other women touching him and putting their legs in his lap (again, what show did you sign up for?), but Jake is able to come up with some sweet nothing to make her feel better.

In Vienna's one-on-one time, she starts to tell even more to Jake, like how she's falling for him (note: she's severly tipsy at this point and it's great to watch). And he doesn't seem to be buying it all, which probably has many, many people screaming at their TV. We can all see the demise of Vienna coming and it couldn't be better. It's time for them to all hit the pillow when Vienna finds Jake's bedroom and busts in a drunken haze--and Jake gets her out! Score one for the pilot!

Corrie's solo date is next and she knows it's do or die (as do we, since we've barely seen her on the show). There's lots of silence on their date, even though Corrie really wants to kiss Jake. I mean lots of silence. Even Jake comments on how slow their relationship is progressing, which you know is a bad sign. So Corrie flips the desperate switch and starts telling him how much she likes him and that she'd even move to Dallas to be with him. One catch: living with him means a ring on her finger. Jake asks Corrie if she's a virgin, which he says isn't a problem (though his facial expression strongly suggests otherwise), but the two kiss anyway.

Ali gets her chance to have some alone time with Jake and take him around her hometown city. You can tell she's really excited because she's got a swagger in her step and confidence is radiating out of this girl. He tries to talk to Ali about last week's rose ceremony, but she stops him with some good old-fashioned public PDA, which works like a charm. After a terse conversation, Ali agrees to let up on her "obsession" with Vienna and try to be a little nicer (yeah, right).

Finally it's time for the rose ceremony and tensions are high. Now he has to take all of his dates and lump them into one--something he's clearly not good at doing. In separate corners of the room, he's dancing with Tenley, telling Gia she's special, telling Corrie her chastity isn't an issue (though his face still tells us otherwise)…and showing Vienna his hotel suite. Well, we can wash all hopes of her going home this week goodbye. Damn.

Chris Harrison finally comes in and tells Jake he has to narrow it down to four for the hometown dates. Considering there are only four that have gotten positive feedback, it's no surprise that he leaves Corrie without a ors. To be honest, she doesn't seem too surprised either, though she cries nonetheless, everyone hugs, toasts and moves on.

Tune in next week at 8/7c on ABC to watch The Bachelor go on hometown dates with the four remaining ladies!

(Photo courtesy of ABC)

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