by Katelynn Cusanelli

The Real World: Brooklyn

 

Episode 2: Call(ie)ous Liasons

 

Lust is in the air over at The Real World: DC house as the roomies pair off!

 

As the episode begins, Ashley and Mike don't waste any time beating around the bush and make no allusions to their mutual attraction for one another. While walking down the street holding hands, Ashley even goes so far as to post an open invitation for Mike into her bed, should he so desire. I kind of like a girl who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it. Later at a club, Callie commands the two to kiss and they go for it; full on, democratic, tongue action! I wonder if this is what they mean by Bi-partisanship.

 

A few days later the Scooby gang decides to head to a DC gay bar where they go in support, I'm assuming, of Mike. Ashley seems to be doing a good job of switching between hopeful hookups to hag, but is a little put off when Mike starts dancing with Senator Ted Haggard. Um, I mean a guy named Robbie. Robbie is a cutie in spite of his resemblance to the philandering senator and Mike brings him home for a make out session, much to Ashley's chagrin. The poor girl is feeling dejected because she is no longer the beautiful reflection of her darling's affection, telling Ty she was never attracted to Mike and doesn't want people to get the wrong impression. Hmm, maybe she should watch earlier in the episode where she gave Mike a golden invitation to sleep with her.

 

Meanwhile, Andrew has given up his crush on Emily and decides instead to set his sights on Callie. The two look so adorable together, but Callie has put up her walls so high even a band of raiding Mongolians couldn't break through. To give Andrew credit, he tries, and tries... and tries. He kisses her hand, sits with her as they look through her photography book, lets her put makeup on him (for the night out at the gay club) and is a downright gentleman. Not wanting to push the envelope, Andrew invites Callie into his bed just to cuddle (a technique which is working for Ty quite nicely), but Callie isn't having any of it. She relentlessly rejects every one of Andrew’s advances and even goes so far as to refer to him as a brother in one of her green screen interviews.

 

Andrew, while dorky and awkward, is still a man and, along with the other men in the house, decides it's time for a guy's night out. He's young and on the prowl and decides to bring home a bar skank whore respectable young lady named Krystal... like the drug. Back in the Brooklyn house, we called these hoes Fireflies or, alternatively, "Stage 5 Clingers". They got this nickname because while they could care less about your existence normally, as soon as lights from the camera came on they were all up in your Kool-Aid. Our young Romeo decides to bring the lady home and starts getting his mack on. Moving from the hot tub to the bedroom, Andrew goes in for the kill, but the female housemates decide they're going to c*** block McLovin'.

 

The next morning Andrew is understandably upset, and the girls laugh it off. Cut to Callie insisting she doesn't know why Andrew would bring a girl home and be so insistent on his feelings toward her, she’s so confused! Are you serious? Girl, if you were any denser you would have your own gravitational pull. Either cut a brother a slice of the prime rib or get off his case about going to McDonalds. If chivalry really is dead, it's because women like Callie killed it.

 

In yet another corner of the DC house, Ty and Emily are playing an emotional tug of war, and I give Ty major props for putting up with Emily's crazy drama head games. Emily offers us a peak behind the curtain with some heart-to-hearts with roommates sprinkled throughout the episode. She goes on to describe her family life and the abuse she endured as child. Later, Emily’s sister Amy shows up for a visit. I never truly know the motives of family when they visit a Real World house. Either a.) They are crazy and don't want their craziness displayed to 300 million viewers, so they show up to put on a good face for the camera (see: Davis's mom from Real World: Denver) or b.) They are genuinely supportive of their child.

 

Unfortunately for Emily, her sister Amy falls into category a. While seemingly having a great time at the house, Emily's sister later shoots her an e-mail saying how it will obviously have to fall on her to take care of the household and hopes Emily will be happy with her decisions in life.

 

I’m sorry, is it still 1886? Have I missed the memo? Is it still the responsibility and birthright of the eldest child to take care of the family? Thankfully, Ty is there to profit from help Emily through the situation. Their relationship is starting to take shape and the pair share the night in Ty’s bed.

 

The previews for episode 3 look juicy, so catch me next week, reality fans, as I cover Ty and Emily’s evolving relationship and Anakin’s decision to finally cross over to the dark side of the force!

 

 

The Real World: Brooklyn airs Wednesdays at 10pm ET on MTV.

 

(Image courtesy of MTV)

 

 

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