by Chandra Clewley

 

“Friends, Enemies and Husbands”

 

How things have changed in Southern California for The Real Housewives of Orange County!  Season Five started last week with the beginning of the economic bust and Episode 2 carries on with it! While we definitely could smell it coming with our Atlanta girls, it is rawer with Orange County, as the girls taped in the heart of 2009 and the crunch.

When we last saw the girls, Tamra and Gretchen were going at it at Lynne’s cuff-jewelry party that proves to be a bust when Tamra storms out with Vicki. Lynne is left with Jeana and Gretchen, where Gretchen calls Tamra “white trash” while in the hallway, Tamra is livid and calls Gretchen a “filthy, nasty whore who has a horrible reputation and who took that old man for a ride for $1.7 million” Those are some fightin’ words! Wow! Lynne doesn’t want to take sides, and feels bad.

 

Gretchen has a tanning party the next day and tells Slade and her mom about it. Her mother suggests she “rise above it.” (Maybe Gretchen should buy Kandi Burruss’ single Fly Above).  At the party, Lynne’s daughter Alexa(16) asks her mom if she can have a beer. Lynne ACTS surprised and says “no” but Gretchen mentions that she has noticed that Lynne glosses over her daughters drinking habits…Somehow I had a feeling in the first season that when they are not on camera, the Curtin’s have not had a problem with their daughters underage drinking. This scene seems to reaffirm that.

 

Slade gets the party started by getting spray tanned with only a sock on (attention for doing nothing? anyone anyone? this guy is wherever a camera is, apparently), and then Lynne jumps in, not realizing perhaps that she will be spraying both her front and her back, and takes her top off. She then turns around to get the front and Gretchen has to cover “the girls” while Lynne gets spray tanned. Umm…is Lynne really just a huge dumb dumb?

Later, she takes her daughter Raquel for a plastic surgery consult. Face lift for Lynne, nose job for Raquel. When they spring their plans on Alexa, she becomes upset, wanting to know why they care so much about their looks and why they have to change themselves….uh oh…Alexa’s first look at plastic fantastic in Southern California. Get used to it little lady, even dead bodies don’t decompose south of Ventura county line.

 

While at lunch, Tamra tells Vicki how difficult things are currently. Simon is not working at Fletcher Jones and is now dedicated to selling his tequila full time. Things aren’t what they used to be, and they are thinking of moving. They pay $2000 a month in property taxes alone on their home, which later in the show, is valued at about $1.45 million in today’s dollars. They are considerably upside down, and while Vicki does say that Tamra works out, takes good care of herself and her family, it is time for Tamra to start spending that time looking for a job.

 

Jeana is hurting too, she has sold her watches, some art and cars, and says she will do whatever it takes to make ends meet. She is hoping to sell a $12 million dollar home in Coto De Caza, where her commission will be about $300,000. She meets Kara at H&M for a discount shopping sesh. Kara is waiting tables now to make ends meet and pay the rent near UCLA. Jeana tells Kara about the argument between Gretchen and Tamra, and can’t believe their pettiness.

 

Vicki, the only one that doesn’t seem to be doing too horribly, takes her mother and daughter to Italy, to celebrate Briana’s graduation from college. Vicki’s mom is not impressed and makes hilarious comments wherever they go, including the Coliseum, which she can hardly stand. They have a difficult time communicating, and fitting in, but enjoy themselves nonetheless.

 

Tamra and Simon have dinner with our latest housewife and her husband, Alexis and Jim. Alexis and Jim admit that they don’t even travel without each other and have only spent two nights apart since they were married. It reminds Tamra of how she and Simon used to be. She says they still don’t spend time apart. When times were good, but it seems the money issues are beating up their marriage. They bicker over dinner and she calls it a “love hate relationship”. Alexis says that they “fight hard but love even harder” and Jim says that he appreciates that Alexis has her own opinions. Finally, Simon says that he doesn’t tell Tamra what to do, even though he knows when she is going to mess up, and he asks her “Ok, tell me when the last time I was wrong was?”

 

At that point, Jim says “You are joking right? You’re not always right, I hate to tell you…” defending Tamra.

 

The tension is rising between the Barneys. Can they keep it together? Next week is Jeana’s final episode on the show as she gets on with her life. Something about these Orange County women, they always decide to leave the show in the middle of the season ala Lauri Waring-Peterson.

 

 

Don’t miss the send off, on The Real Housewives of Orange County, next Thursday at 10 p.m. on Bravo!

 

(Image courtesy of Bravo)

 

 

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