by David McAlpine

 

Last week on Dancing With the Stars, a shocking twist of events happened when both Natalie Coughlin and Aaron Carter found themselves in the bottom two, despite the fact that Louis and Michael have gotten the lowest scores week after week (bias intended).

 

Tonight, the celebrities are attempting either the jitterbug or the waltz, then finishing off the night with a mambo marathon extravaganza. How fun, right? The dances went as follows:

 

Celebrity: Mya

Professional Partner: Dmitry Chaplin

Dance: Jitterbug

Song: “C’mon Everybody” by Eddie Cochran

Breakdown: I thought the characters were too deep for them to get into it, because their routine really takes a good amount of time to pick up. Sure, the introduction was flashy, but it was a really slow pick up. Len was not a fan of the introduction, either, saying he was very disappointed. Looks like it’s another grumpy night for him.

Scores: Carrie Ann: 8 Len: 7 Bruno: 9 Total: 24/30

 

Celebrity: Melissa Joan Hart

Professional Partner: Mark Ballas

Dance: Waltz

Song: “Only One Road” by Celine Dion

Breakdown: I was hoping that Melissa’s rise was going to continue this week, because it seemed like she was finally getting comfortable with being out on the dance floor. Maybe, just maybe, I hoped, she was going to show tonight how legitimate she is about being in this competition. But her trouble with posture was evident from the beginning and it was a clear indication that she was going to crash and burn. And that she did, since the judges called it “rigid” and having “no flow.”

Scores: Carrie Ann: 7 Len: 7 Bruno: 6 Total: 20/30

 

Celebrity: Mark Dacascos

Professional Partner: Lacey Schwimmer

Dance: Jitterbug

Song: “This Cat’s On a Hot Tin Roof” by the Brian Setzer Orchestra

Breakdown: Contrary to Melissa, Mark is getting better week by week. He’s slowly learning how to harness his energy and make all the moves look fluid and professional. This week, his kicks were high, but clean, and it looked like he was genuinely having a great time on the floor. Not to mention Mark pulled some very impressive gymnastics stunts—who knew he could do that?

Scores: Carrie Ann: 9 Len: 9 Bruno: 8 Total: 26/30

 

Celebrity: Aaron Carter

Professional Partner: Karina Smirnoff

Dance: Waltz

Song: “Three Times a Lady” by the Commodores

Breakdown: Talk about pulling for someone—Aaron and Karina have been inexplicably in the bottom two for the past two weeks. Why? I really don’t know. But I’m so hoping they can go above and beyond, because they really need it. Really, really need it. It’s so sad because it’s clear that Aaron is awkward around Karina because he can’t match her sensuality, but he tries so hard. He was a really good leader on the dance floor, but I couple of missteps led to some points getting docked.

Scores: Carrie Ann: 8 Len: 9 Bruno: 8 Total: 25/30

 

Celebrity: Michael Irvin

Professional Partner: Anna Demidova

Dance: Waltz

Song: “Wonder Why” by Curtis Stigers

Breakdown: All I can say is wow, but surprisingly in a good way. When I saw Michael was doing the waltz, I thought it was over for the NFL player, because it’s usually the kiss of death for the heavy-footed athletes. And, of course, it wasn’t nearly anything stellar or spectacular, but it was still much better than how he’s been performing in the last few weeks. Still, not bottom two material? I don’t think so.

Scores: Carrie Ann: 6 Len: 8 Bruno: 6 Total: 20/30

 

Celebrity: Kelly Osbourne

Professional Partner: Louis van Amstel

Dance: Jitterbug

Song: “Bread and Butter” by The Newbeats

Breakdown: It’s been the news story of the week: Kelly Osbourne sustained an injury—can she continue to compete? I think the pressure got to her, because she was showing lots of signs of insecurity again. She wasn’t smiling, the energy was lacking; it seemed like a lackluster performance. Add on top of that the fact that the dance is supposed to be incredibly upbeat and it all snowballed into one big flop.

Scores: Carrie Ann: 7 Len: 6 Bruno: 7 Total: 20/30

 

Celebrity: Louie Vito

Professional Partner: Chelsie Hightower

Dance: Jitterbug

Song: “Baby Likes to Rock It” by The Tractors

Breakdown: Louie, Louie, Louie. The other well-versed escapee of the bottom two gets to do another high-energy, performance-based dance, which I really don’t doubt he’ll botch in some way, but somehow skate through to the next round. How? Tricks, of course, which his dance is full of. However, he did almost drop his partner several times during the dance alone—imagine how stressful practice was.

Scores: Carrie Ann: 7 Len: 7 Bruno: 7 Total: 21/30

 

Celebrity: Joanna Krupa

Professional Partner: Derek Hough

Dance: Waltz

Song: “Be Here to Love Me” by Norah Jones

Breakdown: Derek is back this week and better than ever—it’s almost as if he never had the flu! Even though this dance is the waltz, not some steamy Latin connection number, Joanna and Derek still seem to share a really strong bond that comes through so strong on the dance floor. Their dance was incredibly well choreographed, but Carrie Ann still wanted to see less hesitation.

Scores: Carrie Ann: 8 Len: 9 Bruno: 9 Total: 26/30

 

 

Celebrity: Donny Osmond

Professional Partner: Kym Johnson

Dance: Jitterbug

Song: “Choo Choo Ch’Boogie” by Manhattan Transfer

Breakdown: After getting some really high scores last week, Donny has a huge reputation to uphold. And considering this is the jitterbug, which is another performance-based dance, I think expectations are really high for him. However, judging by the rest of the night, I’d be surprised if he was able to pull off anything the judges couldn’t criticize. It was obvious that there wasn’t as much energy present this week (maybe he’s getting too old for this?), and that he was physically exhausted. It was almost sad to watch, but the judges still caught on to all of his missteps.

Scores: Carrie Ann: 8 Len: 8 Bruno: 8 Total: 24/30

 

Next up, it’s the mambo marathon! All nine couples get to take the dance floor and dance the mambo at the same time, with the worst couple getting eliminated every few seconds by the judges. After each couple gets eliminated, they’ll pick up extra judges’ points—2 for last place, and 10 for first place, with each place in between having a 1-point difference.

 

It’s kind of chaotic when the dancing begins, because you’re trying to look and see what everyone is doing and you just can’t! It’s so hard to pay attention to all the good moves going on, but the order of elimination already kind of confirmed what we knew:

 

2 points – Michael and Anna

3 points – Louie and Chelsie

4 points – Melissa and Mark

5 points – Kelly and Louie

6 points – Mark and Lacey

7 points – Donny and Kym

8 points – Aaron and Karina

9 points – Mya and Dmitry

10 points – Joanna and Derek

 

Be sure to tune in tomorrow night at 9/8c for the live results show to see which couples are in the bottom (hopefully Michael and Louie) and who will be the next pair eliminated from the competition, only on Dancing With the Stars on ABC!

 

(Photo courtesy of ABC)

 

Follow David on Twitter: @DavidMcAlpine

 

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