By Jackie Helm

 

In Episode 1 of “My Antonio”, Antonio Sabato, Jr. greeted the girls in Hawaii!  Wearing only tight swim trunks, he told the girls that he wants the kind of love that you see in the movies.  I think all the ladies and I just wanted the kind of love we see in those swim shorts.  With a few glances at the crowd, Antonio called Nathalie to the side.  As gently as possible he tells her that he isn’t feeling her hands and feet!   That’s his “thing” and she wasn’t doing it for him.  Jaws dropped as the first elimination took place before Antonio knew anybody's name.

 

Don’t let that set the pace because these women are smokin’ hot and Antonio is  a really sweet guy.  Antonio also likes a girl that keeps in shape.  The first challenge required the ladies to run up a sandy mountain!  He provided tennis shoes but they had to hike in their dresses.  This was hilarious as the sand escaped from beneath them and their thong donning booties were blurred.  Tip top shape bartender, Jennifer made it first while Anju came in last.

 

After making them sweat, the ladies were allowed to retire to their new home at the Hilton.  While unpacking Julann made it clear that nobody better mess with her gear cuz she owns expensive stuff and chic’s can be vindictive.  Ohhhkay!

 

Antonio joined the ladies at the pool and started making his rounds.  He feels a connection with Brooke already but didn’t think that Courtney was being very real.  When stopping to talk to Sarah, she acted a little scared.  He asked what she did in life and she replied, “nothing”.  He told her that he was real per her inquiry and then she started to cry!  Antonio comforted her and felt bad for her nervousness...if that’s what you want to call it!  During later convo with Antonio, Anju revealed that she was cool with him dating other women while in a relationship with her. 

 

Scary Sarah

 

The night carried on when suddenly a woman in black appeared.  She summoned Antonio and shed her suggestions on what type of girl he should be with.  The gals with the huge, fake tah-tah’s were not for him.  With that being said, Antonio called Courtney over and asked her to leave.  He rejoined the ladies and told them that his momma wasn’t feeling Courtney and his momma is always right.  Uh oh!

 

Back at the telly, Julann reitterated her worry for her clothes.  Scary Sarah snapped back that nobody had even done anything to her yet.  Julann knows how people are and where ever she is, she and her kids need to feel comfortable.  Sarah was like- dude your kids aren’t even here, you looking for a daddy?  Julann told Sarah to “watch it” and Sarah skipped off calling Julann a “freak”.

Momma joined Antonio and the ladies for dinner and started the interrogating.  She disapproved of Christi being a Playboy model and asked how she felt when her 5 year old son would seek naked mommy photos one day.  Scary Sarah was puttin’ the drinks down and caught the case of the giggles.  Momma said, whats so funny dear and what do you do?  Again, Sarah replied, “nothing”.  Momma continued to inquire of Sarahs life, plans...anything!  Suddenly Sarah shouted, “I don’t have a mom” and ran out of the room crying.  Antonio followed her and again..offered his comfort. 

 

Julann

 

The elimination ceremony consists of waiters bringing dessert (a Hawaiian lei) on a covered silver platter.  If you get one you stay, if you don’t, you must face Antonio for a little personal talky talk.

 

Anju and Miranda came up short of a lei and Antonio questioned them on the side.  Miranda expressed that she was just shy while Anju reiterated her need to hump around.  Antonio wasn’t feeling Anju by any means and kept Miranda in the game. 

In one episode 3 girls are goners!  The show ended with the “enter Ex-Wife” shocker!  Tully says that she is Antonio’s first and only ex-wife and she wants her hubby back!  They were married when Antonio was 18 and she was 28 years old.  The marraige lasted 5 months and she apparently broke his heart.

 

Ex-wife 

 

Episode 2 pops off with Tully!!!  Back at the telly the girls are questioning Tully to the T’.  They suspect she is Antonio’s sister or even a spy.  It’s a hard pill for everyone to swallow that she’s had the balls to come back!  Later Antonio asks Tulley why she came back.  She thinks she deserves another chance and he said (in so many words), I hope you have a good time while you’re here but I’m not feeling you anymore!

 

While snacking, Jennifer prepares herself a waffle with cream cheese on it.  Not wanting to finish it all she offered Scary Sarah the rest.  Sarah flipped out, again, and thinks the girls were teasing her.  Later Sarah cried to Julann about the incident.  Julann told Sarah she understands that she’s not happy.  Scary, psycho Sarah freaked out, called Julann a “Russian c$nt” and ran away...far away, leaving the house for good.  The next day, Antonio was concerned for Sarah’s well being when he heard of her exit.  But Julann turned the incident into the “Julann Show” as her only concern was being called a bad word by Sarah.  Antonio joins the gals for couch chat and Julann blurts out that she doesn’t want to be there anymore.  With that statement, she got nearly an hour of Antonio’s time in a private conversation where she whined like a bia bia.  Her main point was...her.  Julann’s complaint continued to be that Antonio cared for Sarah’s welfare more than he cared that Julann was cursed out by Sarah.  She suggests he needs to concentrate on the sane and healthy rather than the sick.  Get a grip Julann.

 

You’re getting sleeeeepy - the girls get hypnotized!  Julann wimped out and sits out.  Under hypnotism, Tully and Miranda compliment and kiss each other (although they had a bathroom space spat earlier).  Tania was hypnotized into speaking to Antonio in only Italian.  Although her vocab only consisted of taramisu and manicotti , Antonio was feelin’ the sexiness of Tania’s new un-native tongue.

 

Tania

 

During the lei ceremony, Julann and Jessica’s silver platters came up short of a lei.  Jessica had the “shy” excuse and Julann started on her soap box again.  Antonio told Julann that he gave her alllllll that time to speak and it was alllllll about HER.  It bothered him that she did not care about the wounded bird (Sarah) and he needed more compassion in a woman!  Again, Julann gave her sick/healthy speech and thank God we said goodbye to Julann.  She’s sick.

 

Momma talks to Tulley and says you made us all miserable why the heezy are you here!  Finally, a competition for love where the suitor is real and the competitors are being dropped when they need to be!  With the exception of Tully, why is she here???

 

 

Photos courtesy of Vh1

 

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