by David McAlpine

Last time on Big Brother 11, a very long, insufferable, headsmack-worthy work slowly wound its way to an end as Ronnie’s reign as Head of Household came to a close. In the process, nominee Laura and Russell started a conversation that turned the entire house against Ronnie and Laura was evicted 8-1. In yet another headsmack-worthy event, Jessie beat Jeff in a tiebreaker to win the third Head of Household…and set us up for yet another week of power-tripping in the Big Brother House.

Jessie continues to enlarge his own ego to the size of the backyard by talking about just how great he is. Casey and Kevin get a wake-up call and realize that Natalie is the one in power because she’s the one controlling the strong players: Russell and Jessie.

And, as if last week wasn’t bad enough, Jessie, Natalie and Russell are all back on Ronnie’s side, as if they’re so “above” what happened last week. They start discussing targeting Casey and Natalie promises Ronnie that he’s safe (note: she doesn’t hold any actual power)—what? Already this week is shaping up to be unpredictable.

Jessie gets to have another rush of air into his ego balloon when he shows everyone his HoH room and Natalie and Lydia can’t contain themselves while looking at Jessie’s pictures. After the mini-party about Jessie, Casey pulls Natalie aside and tries to get her to see that if Jessie targets Ronnie this week, they can all skate by cleanly because no one will be angry with what they do. Natalie, of course, runs and tells Jessie, using it as more proof that Casey needs to leave. At this point, I’m just in shock how much I underestimated Natalie, because this girl is here to play this game.

However, Lydia seems to underestimate Natalie, too, because she starts to flirt with Jessie in the hammock and an awkward love triangle starts to form. The best part? Jessie is actually falling for it, stroking Lydia’s hair. Enter Natalie, who tries to break up the party, but it’s too late, because the love has started to bloom.

Now it’s Michele’s turn to grovel for safety, and Natalie (again note: the one with no actual power) asks her if she would save the two of them if she didn’t go home. Again, they never said they wouldn’t put her up, they just suggested in case she somehow stayed. And, like she should, Michele says no, which makes Jessie “suspicious.” Not exactly the emotion I would be feeling there, but this is Jessie we’re talking about.

We get another glimpse of why Jordan is cute in a “the light is on, but no one is home” kind of way, as well as watching her suffer through the rest of her “Have Not “ period. Then it’s time for this week’s Have and Have Not Competition, which turns out to be some rip-off of NASCAR, but in the backyard. Between Jessie getting way to into his own terrible southern accent and how complicated the game is, it’s just a blur.

The lowdown: Jordan, Chima and Kevin end up competing, and Kevin makes a pointed comment about how Ronnie needs to lose weight, so he plans to target the brains. Note to self: major plus point for Kevin in my book. It ends up that the brains lose and they win America’s Choice: cabbage and cocktail wieners, which Ronnie is still really excited about. Chima, on the other hand is pissed, so hopefully this is a wakeup call that she should get rid of Ronnie so she’s not grouped with him anymore.

Just when I thought Big Brother was getting creative, America’s Choice this week is again voting on what the Have Nots should eat this week: squash and squid, brussel sprouts and borscht, or liverwurst and black licorice. You know the rules, visit the Big Brother website to cast your vote.

In another time filling montage, we learn that Russell’s women are like a box of Kleenex, used then thrown away, while Kevin has been in a nine-year relationship. I honestly wasn’t surprised, but hey, stereotypes aside, it’s still fairly comical. Then Lydia and Natalie argue about the sleeping arrangements, which is obviously just an excuse for them to yell at each other. Oh, the sexual tension is building!

It’s finally nomination time, when everyone gets to fawn over Jessie for not nominating them. The athletes get their keys automatically while everyone is left shaking in their boots until it is revealed that Jordan and Michele are nominated this week for eviction. And in a true Jessie move, he doesn’t offer any explanation and just ends it there. Instead, he lets us know in the diary room that he plans to backdoor someone that he really wants out. Cue Ronnie saying he believes he’s 100% safe this week. I guess we’ll see…

Tune in to Big Brother on Tuesday at 9/8c on CBS to see who wins the Power of Veto and what the morons decide to do in case Michele or Jordan is taken off the block.

(Image courtesy of CBS and RealPlayer)

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