by David McAlpine

After coming so close to getting the axe on last week's season premiere of The Celebrity Apprentice, Herschel returns with Dennis to the suite, obviously slightly angry at the situation. It’s clear that Herschel doesn’t want to go back to the boardroom, so maybe he’ll step up and take some initiative this time.

Before the teams get to work, we get a glimpse of the “true meaning” behind The Celebrity Apprentice: charity. Joan and the head of God’s Love We Deliver takes the check of $125,000+ along with some meals to a woman fighting breast cancer and her children.
Now that everyone at home feels all fuzzy, the task is laid out. Teams have to create a costume and a four-page comic around an original comic book character, all promoting Zappos.com, an online retailer. Khloe is selected as the Project Manager for Athena because she owns a retail store, while Scott is picked for KOTU because of his level head in the last task.

Each team talks with Tony, the CEO of Zappos.com, to get a feel for what they’re aiming for. Athena gets borderline intrusive, asking trivial questions like Tony’s preferences about women. KOTU doesn’t fare any better, ending the meeting quickly after Tom makes a few awkward jokes.

With both teams at square one, everyone seems pretty evenly matched. Khloe is lost among all the alpha females, while Scott is having problems putting out fires early. Enter Donald, who, in Apprentice tradition, gives us all a talk about pressure. He says Khloe hasn’t been exposed to pressure (read: he thinks she’s not a real celebrity), while Scott has been in the Olympic spotlight.

Donald seems to be right, as Annie begins to take charge on Athena, giving herself and Claudia the job of writing the storyline. Joan and Melissa get pissed, saying Annie is ignoring their Emmy-award winning writing talent. Angry glares and shrugs are exchanged as we flash to the men, who are even more unproductive. Dennis and Tom jokingly discuss the idea of a transvestite. …Ok.

After more fighting, Khloe starts to become more assertive while Scott, well, doesn’t. Claudia comes up with the concept for the women: Mizz Z, the “average Jane” (who looks a above average) and “zaps” good customer service into the internet. Then Donald, Jr. comes in and Melissa takes all the credit. Sucks for Claudia, but she lets it roll off her shoulder – smart move.

Going into the assigned focus groups, the women are clearly more prepared than the men, but the comic book fans were clearly not ready at all. They could barely keep their mouths closed looking at Brande and Claudia and they looked plain confused with KOTU.
Natalie is picked to be the model for Athena (after more arguing) and the men start to have a coherent idea: a woman gets sucked into the computer and transformed into a customer service machine. Then a bigger dilemma: the name. No problem, Scott has that solved: EEE (“Everything, Everywhere, Everytime”)! Even the costumers pause to laugh about that one. I mean, really, who couldn’t? Like Tom points out, it’s a legitimate name for a drug or a bra, but not necessarily a comic book heroine.

Both teams work later and later with the time crunch setting in. Claudia gets visibly ill and Tom gets increasingly annoying and, as the sun comes up, everyone is short on patience. Annie and Brande rush to get their materials, which results in Brande walking barefoot down Fifth Avenue. If anything, she gets dedication points for that.

Claudia (the sick one) and Tom (the annoying one) are, surprisingly, picked to do the pitches for Tony and Donald. Athena goes first and Claudia stumbles through the presentation, which Tony doesn’t like. KOTU delivers a more solid performance, but Tony is concerned with the lack of “Z” in their character. No, really?

In the boardroom, Scott slams Tom, while Khloe is commended. We all find out Donald tried to pick up Brande when he was younger (creepy) and both teams criticize each other’s comics. The women are revealed as the winners and Khloe gets $20,000 for her charity, The Brent Shapiro Foundation.

Scott gets defensive and attacks Tom, while everyone attacks Scott for being a soft leader. Jesse speaks up and points the finger at Clint for being argumentative and Tom agrees. Scott, saying he doesn’t want to make a mistake, takes Tom into the boardroom…and Herschel as a “helper.” Remind me again how he planned not to make a mistake? Where is Clint, who two people said should be fired? Oh, right, back at the suite, while a pissed off football player is “on your side.”

After a little talk, Herschel is dismissed, obviously not getting fired. Tom offers to be the next Project Manager, which is smart on his part, because it shows initiative. In the end, it comes down to the fact that the name was terrible, and Scott is let go, but not before Tom gets a warning that he’s being watched next week.

Tune into new episodes of The Celebrity Apprentice on NBC Sundays at 10/9c

(Image courtesy of NBC)

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