By Jackie Helm

The 18 finalists move into Tila’s temporary mansion! Like last season, they all get to snore in the same sweaty sheets. The gals whine about sleeping with the guys, while somae of the guys expect the sleeping arrangement to be hizzzottt!

What’s a competition without cocktails? The crew hits the bar and the girls get plummeted with questions from the guys about their lesbianism.

Tila escorts her worshippers into her personal casino. The crowd is hype, drunk and gambling Vegas style. Tila tries to sneak off with a couple girls for one-on-ones…but stalker Kyle was determined to make 3 a crowd. Tila told him he was being “penetrating”!

The first competition was “Clothes Craps”. The object was to roll a die and take off the article of clothing displayed. Luckily for Tila and the viewers at home, most everyone flaunted a hot bod. However, T.T. wasn’t feelin’ Lisa’s unbecoming boxer briefs.

Coincidentally, George who has the buffest body and Kristy with the bodonkadonk won the game for having the most clothes left on. They got alone time in Tila’s personal Night Club (a room decorated like a club). She escorts them to the luxury VIP section (a couch off to the side) and for a little talking, snuggling, etc.

Then here comes the boom! The rest of the house guests crash the private club scene and the party got kicked off right. Samantha (a dancer in real life) gave the crowd a show with the stripper pole. Heads were bobbin’, champagne was poppin' and then the cops came a knockin'. Seriously.

Apparently the noise level disturbed the neighbors. Tila unsuccessfully tried to seduce the policeman into not writing a ticket. Meanwhile, Jerky Jay screamed at the cops from inside the house. Once the door shut, Tila tore up the ticket and the kickin’ it continued.

Tila disappeared and the houseguests took the party into the bedroom. Bo tapped Kristy on the tail end and she naturally had a cow. A pillow fight ensued. When Bo hit her back, he knocked Kristy to the ground quite forcefully and her 2nd cow was born.

Sirbrina describes all the guys in the group as douche bags. It’s hard not to agree. Trouble making, childish Chad brought along his personal blow up doll. He also said goodnight to his fellow housemates in their shared bed…by means of his rear end.



After only a few hours of sleep the contestants are woken. Christian starts his day with a refreshing Vodka & cranberry cocktail. He explains that this is the norm for people from Venezuela. Everyone else frowns on the signs of an alcoholic.

Samantha, (who has been nicknamed “glitter” due to the shimmering glitter she glues to her eyelids with chap stick), read the first “message in a bottle” from Tila.

A “recovery room” had been set up to help the crew shake the willies from getting plastered the night before. They open the doors to an ER/kitchen filled with an abundance of fruit juices and good food.

George was a little down due to that day being his mothers’ birthday. She passed when he was only ten years old. Childish Chad and Jerky Jay started a food fight by throwing raw eggs at the girls. Samantha got overly upset at them for “disrespecting Tila’s house”. That’s when Silly Scotty threw his drink in Samantha’s face. This caused her to go buck wild, throw her drink in his face and knock Scotty upside his head. Scotty later apologized but Glitter Stripper…er…Samantha wasn’t trying to hear it.

The next challenge was titled, “Bi My Love”. One girl and one guy were locked together inside of a box with fake money blowing about. The girls were to get the pink money and the guys grabbed the blue. After each two got a turn, the 3 contestants with the most loot won a personal session with Tila.

The 3 money hungriest were all females! Brittany collected $40, Fame got $29 and “V” brought home $20. Poor George only managed to capture a mere 5 bucks.

The gals joined Tila in the hot tub and were challenged to impersonate her. “V” won with the tactic of rubbing ice on her nips. Her personal prize was making out with Tila off to the side. In the meantime, Fame decided to bust out in song. Tila found Fame to be intrusive and the rest of us found her to be untalented.

Elimination time came and Tila was confused as normal…ly one would be when having such a hard decision to make! She was able to speak with George on the side regarding his lackluster money grabbing performance. She consoled him when she heard of his grief.

When it came down to the nitty gritty, Tila almost booted Kyle the stalker, but then said the attention may not be so bad after all. The man to go was Christian. Tila told Fame to bounce and something about her show not being American Idol.

Later on “The Hangover” hosted by Ryan Stout, Christian chilled with a chill drink and Fame swore up and down that she was not on the show for exposure. Check back next week for more crazy co-ed excitement!

Photos courtesy of mtv.com
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